I have been on this site as a home owner for I believe 13 years. Due to my job, I relocate internationally every couple of years. I started hosting sitters in Copenhagen and then continued in Berlin (which is home) and Riga. In all of these places, the majority of my sitters came from another country to look after my pets - Australia, the US and different European countries, including the UK. As I consider this a mutual exchange, I always aim to be a good host. I like to do a personal introdution to my pets (two house bunnies), so my sitters usually arrive the day before my own departure. I make sure the guest bedroom is ready with clean sheets and fresh towels, that my cleaner has just been there, and I am happy to share my kitchen staples as well as my Netflix account. I have given some sitters a quick guide around the block, shared a meal or a glass of wine, exchanged stories … Depending on time and interest. Nobody ever made me wonder if they felt welcome.
A year ago I relocated once more to central London. Here most sitters seem local - either Londoners trying to excape a flat share for a few days or people from other parts of the UK wanting to enjoy the big city. I actually find this quite convenient for various reasons. However - and now I come to the question in my headline -, two recent sitters completely out of the blue indicated in their review that my hospitality was only 4/5. No further explanation, just a not so great overall rating. I am aware that the different sections in the review for home owners are quite new. But I am still the same host and I always thought I was doing a great job hosting. So what has changed, I keep asking myself? Are expections different from local sitters than from “tourists”, whom I could maybe “wow” with putting a Lonely Planet on their bedside table or teaching them some words in a foreign language?
I would appreciate if some of you - both sitters and home owners - could share what would be five star hospitality for you. What do you expect, and what would make you deduct a start in the rating system?
I will acknowledge that I am unclear if you received 4/5 overall, 4/5 in just the hospitality category, or both.
Regardless, before we all weigh in with what would ultimately be guesses, have you asked the sitters to explain the reasoning for the downgrade? If so, did you receive a response?
I think this is really one of those “how long is a piece of string” questions — there’s no single, one-size-fits-all answer. You just have to do you. For some sitters, what you offer will feel above and beyond; for others, it might not land the same way — and that’s okay.
We’ve been living this lifestyle for about fourteen years now, with more than 155 sits under our belt, and it’s exactly the same from our side too: we do what we do, some homeowners are absolutely chuffed, others a bit less so.
My advice? Don’t overthink it. You’ve clearly got loads of 5 reviews, which speaks volumes. Be proud of your way of hosting — it’s clearly working — and keep going.
You sound like an amazing host just because you asked the question and care! Only they know the reason. I would email them and thank them for their feedback and to please share how you could improve. If you word it in a non threatening way and not combative way they will probably respond. Personally it would not bother me IF I had a lot of 5 stars and I know I treat every sit the same. As they say, you can’t please everyone.
You sound like a great host TBH. Maybe they always rate down, did you look at their other reviews? Some people never give 5 stars as that signals absolute perfection. Best thing to do is ask them, only way you’ll know for sure. #itsgoodtotalk
You sound great and a good host. I’d give 5 stars no doubt. A friendly welcome, clean comfortable home, perfect for me.
But…to be honest you can’t expect brownie points for providing clean bedding and towels and home. That’s a very basic expectation to meet your side of the deal. Introduction to pets, helpful but not special. Socialising with hosts is something some sitters enjoy and some dislike. Netflix, again, nothing special and how petty would it be to not allow a visitor to do this. To me, those things are a bit like saying they are allowed to use the shower - normal. And would get a 5 star from me as I said, but maybe other sitters save 5 stars for hosts that exceed their expectations? I’d give my current hosts 6 stars if I could, but the fact that they go above and beyond doesn’t mean I mark more standard hosting down or expect these things from anyone else. You are hosting well, we all have to accept a random star loss now and then.
I also suggest rethinking hosting the night before, unless it’s an offer they accept and not something you are building into the sit dates. Unless you are leaving crack of dawn there’s no benefit for a local sitter and it could be an irritation to have to give up their evening unnecessarily.
Tea! I was expecting some kind of intercultural aspect! As a German, I always offer to use my full bean coffee machine and am surprised how anyone could decline it.
The night overlapping is essential because I usually leave early and you just don’t find sitters easily that are so familiar with looking after house rabbits that you could just leave them a note and shut the door. I am very open about this in my listing and video call, though.
The sitter took a long time to write any kind of review and then kept it very short. She did eventually reply, though, to the question why she downgraded and said other hosts had invited her for dinner etc and in comparison to that, I was only a 4. I barely cook for myself, living in central London, and find this a bit demanding. But I will have some tea ready next time!
@Elke You mention the “night overlapping is essential” so exactly what time did you expect your sitters to arrive? When I’ve been asked to arrive the night before, I’ve enjoyed a meal with the owner, especially if that date was not included in the advertised dates. It showed the owner appreciated me coming early in my own time. From reading what you have done in preparation for sitters in other countries where you have lived, you mentioned sharing a meal so I’m wondering why the change now you are in London.
With so many 5* reviews, I’m sure these two will make no difference where you are in London, such a desirable location to sitters.
I do think it would be hospitable to offer a meal if you’re expecting a sitter to arrive the evening before. Even if you don’t cook, you could order a takeaway or even take them out for a meal to a pub. That will show them the local area as well.
I agree with others’ comments about the hot drink. At my last sit, which was late-notice, I packed up and arrived a little frazzled. When I arrived, they immediately offered a tour of the house etc. I knew I couldn’t take on any information right them and needed to relax and get to know them and the dog so I asked if they could put the kettle on. I felt cheeky for asking but my needs mattered too.
Usually the local sitter tells me what time they wish to arrive. I had plans that evening, which she was aware of, and she booked a train that allowed us to have about an hour together to go through things before I put her in charge and barely saw her anymore. If she had arrived earlier, I would of course had tea and biscuits ready.
I think that many people interpret “hospitality” as transcending the transactional. When you hosted people traveling to you from other countries, the little extras made them feel welcome. When you hosted people from the area you live in now, they may have felt that the welcome they received from you was not one of a host but someone they’re merely trading services with.
But then I would like to add that the sitters from other countries often bring small gifts and local sitters don’t. I would not hold that against a local sitter.
Hi @Elke You haven’t done anything wrong as such, but arranging for a sitter to arrive the night before, and then leaving them on their own once you’ve imparted all the necessary info will land differently with different people. Whilst this sounds like a very practical arrangement, it lacks the warmth that takes the exchange beyond that of ‘service provision’ on both parts.
To me, hospitality is about making someone feel welcome. It’s not providing basics like bedding, etc or even gifts, it’s about making them feel like a welcome guest. Housesitting should be a mutual exchange where both parties feel valued.
Just in general (not necessarily in sitting situations since I’m not a HO here) if someone arrives at my home they will be offered a seat to relax and a drink - tea, coffee, water, wine, whatever I have. If someone is at my home at dinner time they will be provided with food. I would never have someone in my home at a meal time and not offer food. I know things vary culturally, but I guess that’s just how I was brought up.
I’ve almost always been offered a meal when I’ve been asked for a night before arrival (maybe a quarter of the sits I’ve done). I can only think of once where we didn’t have a meal together. It’s not always homemade, it might be ordering takeout.
Having a sitter come the night before when you have plans to go out is unusual and honestly, not very hospitable. If I arrived and wasn’t offered a drink or meal and was supposed to take over pet care the night before while the HO went out, I would probably feel like the help and not a welcome guest.
Just some things to think about in regards to hosting sitters.
reviews, which speaks volumes. Be proud of your way of hosting — it’s clearly working — and keep going. 
as that signals absolute perfection. Best thing to do is ask them, only way you’ll know for sure. 
