Looking for advice-We had a sitter and her husband stay at house/sit our pets about week or so ago. While walking my dog, the husband got into a situation with a neighbor, who grew angry at him and demanded to know why he was in the neighborhood. I get it, inappropriate on my neighbor’s part, but the husband apparently argued back with her, telling her ‘it’s none of your business, lady’, and saying (If the neighbor’s dog comes near him) it’ll be the last thing the dog ever does’. I mentioned in my review that something happened with a neighbor, but noted that it was a one-off, so probably not an issue. This husband replied, claiming my neighbor threatened him in many ways, and that future potential sitters should avoid my house because of this neighbor. His review is over the top and untrue. I asked THS staff to modify or take down his review as incorrect and disrespectful, but staff has said they won’t do that. What can I do?
Hi @Kathy1 Sorry to hear that things didn’t go well for you.
Both yourself and your sitter have one (and only one) opportunity to respond publicly to each others’ reviews, with no time limit on when you do so. Suggest waiting at least a few days for the dust to settle, and then, if you feel it necessary to do so, write a factual response.
Or choose to ignore the review/response and move on. Future home owners/sitters often make an initial decision as to whether they will be a good match based on the tone and content of reviews/responses, so you need to make the call as to whether or not to further engage.
It sounds like this was a response written by the sitter, not the sitter’s review. If that’s the case, OP can’t respond to it, but at least it’s not on their profile. Did the sitter mention anything in their actual review that is on your profile, @Kathy1 ?
It’s hard to tell what sparked the initial confrontation, and even though you weren’t there, there are a lot of factors that could change what the best course of action is.
To be honest I’m not sure why you would have mentioned the altercation in your review. Regardless not much you can do about the response to your review.
If you are in the US and the sitter was not, it is possible they were worried about being reported to authorities by the neighbour which potentially was the “none of your business” response. Totally imaging here as we don’t know the full situation.
Oztravels, I thought a bit before mentioning the argument in my review, and I merely called it a situation. The reason I did mention it is that the sitter didn’t try to walk away, or even de-escalate the situation, instead he responded angrily thereby escalating the whole situation. Both he and the neighbor were sending me angry texts during my trip. I thought other pet owners might want to be aware that these sitters are willing to engage in (somewhat pointless) arguments with neighbors.
This still doesn’t get to the heart of the situation, which does matter.
If your neighbor is able to text you, are you close enough to tell her to not bother your sitters? Because most sitters do NOT want nosy neighbors questioning them, even if one hopes they can better keep their cool about it.
My advice is to let it go, for these reasons:
- You weren’t there for the confrontation; the only thing you know is what you’ve been told.
- You’re responsible for neither of the two partys’ actions or reactions. There’s really nothing you can add than what you’ve already said about it, which seems both truthful & fairly benign.
- The sitter probably just wanted to tell their side of the “confrontation,” since you put it out there in his review. Any judgements at this point will be based on his response & tone. If you say nothing further, there is nothing at all for people to critique you on…only him.
- As others noted, if you do post a response it would be attached to your listing profile under his review of you…where the altercation was presumably not mentioned, so it would only draw attention to something that was previously not very visible to anyone viewing your listing.
You can contact THS if you like, but I doubt they’ll remove his comments. Even if they did, it seems like there’s little more to be gained than if you just let it be (imo, anyway.)
As a sitter, I’d also note that I’d be unlikely to avoid your listing because of a supposedly rude neighbor. I would hesitate to apply if I saw a lot of drama or over-reactions from a host about something they really weren’t involved in in the first place.
Potential sitters will want to know whether they’ll encounter your neighbor and run into problems. What can you say about that?
The sitter might not have behaved optimally, but your neighbor might frighten off other sitters.
Belluca-
Texts from both my neighbor and my sitter came after the fact–they argued in the street, then started texting me after they returned home.
I do usually warn other sitters about tricky neighbors in my review. And I am in the lookout for such warnings. When I say I warn, I mean “the neighbor is the best friend of the host” meaning “snitching incoming” or “the neighbor was very helpful and thoughtful” meaning “they are nosey and will involve themselves too much”.
So any mention of neighbors, unless it clearly states “we were in trouble, we seeked the neighbor out, we asked them to help, they were the best”, is a red flag to me.
To me “why are you in this neighborhood” sounds like a neighborhood where I would not want to be, because I do have qualities which have me at heightened risk of being harmed in case I have an encounter with the police.
Welcome to the forum, @Kathy1.
This situation is certainly unfortunate and I am sorry that you have to deal with others’ actions.
If I get it right, the situation with the neighbor was mentioned both in their review and their reply to your review.
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- If it was just the reply, @MerryPuppins has worded perfectly my thoughts on the situation. In this case, I don’t think there’s much you can do. I do think that it might have some effect on the desirability of your sit but, unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do at this stage. Nothing that can help improve the situation but it might make it worse.
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- If there are evident untruths in their review of you, you would have to prove that what they say is false in order for THS to intervene. You also mentioned the word “disrespectful “, if that is something most people would agree is disrespectful language, then THS will also intervene. It may be worth trying again, as different people in membership services tend to act differently. If you do get in touch with them again, be very specific about what part of their review is disrespectful and if you can prove it to be false. Neighbours testimony is consistently disregarded as it’s their word against someone else’s.
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- Still another possibility on the second scenario. You could reply to their review, if you haven’t, addressing the false and disrespectful statements in a factual, unemotional way. There’s no deadline for that, so it’s worth taking your time and having someone read your draft before publishing it.
Yes, I understood that.
Here’s why it matters:
If this is a nosy, intrusive neighbor prone to questioning your sitters, the sitter is correct to warn others, even if they (possibly but none of us were there, so who knows) went overboard about it. It is in your best interest to try to get this neighbor to stop. That she has your number makes me think there is an avenue for conversation about this. And your best bet for success is to be upfront with potential sitters about this neighbor.
If there are additional components to this argument, especially if the sitter was a different race than the neighbor, then this takes on a really different light and I would say the sitter did not overreact.
OTOH, if the neighbor was just making conversation and the sitter flipped out on them, that’s on the sitter. From the few details you’ve posted, this seems the less likely options, but I have seen posts from sitters where they feel like neighbors are spying on them. So it would still would be worth a conversation with the neighbor, as what they thought was an innocent question somehow triggered the sitter.
ETA: I feel for you, as problematic neighbors are a PITA (I have one), AND problematic sitters can cause issues with otherwise good neighbors. You have to live there and deal with consequences if there is a dust-up with a sitter. But how you move forward is what matters now, and understanding the dynamics of what happened will help you figure out the best path.
I’ve summarised what you explained so far:
"While walking my
dog, the husband got into a situation with a neighbor, who grew angry at him and demanded to know why he was in the neighborhood. I get it, inappropriate or my neighbor’s part, but the husband apparently argued back with her, telling her 'it’s none of your business, lady
The reason I did mention it is that the sitter didn’t try to walk away, or even de- escalate the situation, instead he responded angrily thereby escalating the whole situation
I thought other pet owners might want to be aware that these sitters are willing to engage in (somewhat pointless) arguments with neighbors"
I presume you’re in America?
Why would a neighbour (who you are close enough with for her to have your phone number) DEMAND to know why your sitter was in the neighbourhood??
She must’ve recognised your dog surely?
Was it because of your sitter’s appearance maybe?
Either way both your remarks (‘should’ve walked away/de-escalate’ & ‘pointless argument’) about your sitter who was the one that got attacked by a stranger (being your neighbour) show you didn’t have the back of the people you trusted with your pets and to me that’s the biggest red flag here 
Lot of assumptions there.
This really sounds subjective, but the incident sounds serious and unpleasant enough that as a sitter, I’d probably avoid the sit. Even your version sounds that way. Because the sitter actually experienced this, while his version may seem over the top to you, it would be unfair IMO for you to characterize this as “untrue” unless you have the whole thing on camera.
SOOO, just someone’s opinion here: Leave the review alone. Let it go. Have a chat with the neighbor or not. But update something in the listing so that you acknowledge a sitter had an unpleasant encounter with a particular neighbor, and the steps you’ve taken/recommend to avoid this happening in the future.
Also depending on the state there is the gun and stand your ground issue.
Many neighbourhoods since Covid now have WhatsApp groups.
This is what I would do. If you can talk to the nosy neighbor, let them know you have pet sitters from time to time and may be out walking the dog. They prefer to be undisturbed and you can give them a heads up when you have sitters.
For sitters in your listing state their is a neighbor who can be overzealous when they encounter strangers in the neighborhood but you’ve spoken to them and advised them that sitters are to be undisturbed.
Most of our neighbors are great but there is one that is overly nosy as well. In my welcome guide I just advise sitters to state they are pet sitting for me and to contact me with any further questions. It helps that Im the President of the HOA so it’s never come to that but I just want sitters to be prepared if they do get questions while out and about.
I get that the sitter probably escalated things but my guess is the neighbor came at him aggressively and with a lot of suspicion, which got the sitter riled up as well.