What would you do if presented with this?

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
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I received a ‘house guide’ and dog’s ‘essential guide’ after I’d had a very pleasant video call mid February with a male couple in Dublin who confirmed me for the sit starting on 25 April and I accepted. I only got round to reading the notes this morning and wish now that I had read them before accepting as there are quite a few red flags. I normally do leave reading notes/Welcome Guides until just before the sit and have not had a problem until now.

The house guide is not very welcoming and reads more like a list of rules, 3 pages long. There are the normal no additional guests, no smoking, certain rooms off limits but ‘The dishwasher and washing machine are not for use’. I can live without the dishwasher but it’s the first time I’ve ever been excluded from using a washing machine. Fortunately the sit is only for 6 nights. But is this against THS guidelines @Silversitters?

Regarding the dog’s ’essential guide’ I’ve to put on his trousers and suit before his harness. This was discussed during the video call to keep his legs as clean as possible. Upon return I’ve to wipe ‘all paws, belly, willy and bum’. Which is fine. However, I’ve to wash his trousers in the guest bathroom and wash his bowls in the guest bathroom sink, not the kitchen sink! These notes extend to 5 pages!

I have a feeling that I’ll have to be careful what I do as this couple is clearly very high maintenance. They have had one female couple of sitters before from Korea for 2 weeks and gave each other glowing reviews.

I would be glad of your thoughts. Again, my own fault for not reading the notes upon receipt but, even so….

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My immediate reaction is those instructions relating to don’t use washing machine and wash bowls in guest sink are very demeaning to the sitter. It would make me feel very unwelcomed. What vibe did you get during the call? Any signs of this before accepting?

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It doesn’t sound at all welcoming and I think you are right to be concerned about these ‘red flags’. I would write back pointing out it is highly unusual not to be allowed to use fairly basic amenities such as dishwasher and washing machine and you are wondering if there is any reason for this. If I was being really chippy I’d remind them this is supposed to be a fair exchange of accommodation/amenities for pet care and as they are asking quite a lot of you in relation to their pet the least they could do is make available amenities to make your stay as comfortable as possible. However this could set up a confrontation which you probably want to avoid so maybe its better to just get through the sit and mark it down as an experience you’ll try to avoid in the future?

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Please do not blame yourself at all. She is treating you like an unpaid slave. I know you read people say, well I screen well so I don’t have these problems. I don’t believe that for a second. People can show you what they want you to see in an interview. They can have special instructions once you arrive that was not in their WG. They have just been lucky.

Did you ask her why you can’t use the washing machine? I would. If it’s not broken I would just use it. How does she want you to wash your clothes? Poor dog has to wear people clothes to step outside. Maybe I don’t worry about all 5 stars or being marked down. If this is no longer enjoyable to me I will delete my account. I know not everyone is like that. This is a lifestyle to some and to me it’s an occasional alternative way to travel. It just infuriates me to see that a volunteer pet sitter is being treated like this. I think you have grounds to end the sit. Think about your emotional wellbeing as well. I was on another platform of alternative travel where you can contact those that left reviews if they allowed to ask them questions. Too bad you can’t contact that one that came before you.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you peace with your decision.

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Are the dishwasher and the washing machine mentioned as amenities in the listing @Smiley as that might be a way to open up the “can you explain” chat &/or exit strategy if they’re not delivering on what was offered? Sounds pretty high maintenance for sure. We wouldn’t want to wash dog bowls in our bathroom instead of the kitchen sink either. If they’ve only had one set of sitters and you’ve done loads of sits maybe the “in dozens of sits are you aware this is not normal THS protocol”?#keepusposted

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I couldn’t agree with you more @Seniorsitter. Wise words :clap:

It sounds very interesting. May I ask how to find it?

Cheers

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In your place, I’d not want to do the sit, knowing that the hosts treat sitters like this.

You might consider telling them outright that you just read the welcome guide and realized that you wouldn’t have accepted based on their preferences and won’t be able to abide by them, because they’re demeaning. Then see what they say. In their place, I’d cancel the sit, knowing that. If they do, they won’t be able to write you a review.

If they don’t cancel, they still can’t force you to do the sit, but then you can decide whether to go through with it and write a factual review. In your place, I’d be willing to risk a bad review from them. If you end up writing a factual review, they probably will have a much harder time getting sitters (especially good experienced ones), because they’ll be warned off. That would be a public service.

Contrary to beliefs that good sits are based on random luck, there are >actions< that sitters and hosts can take to avoid them. For sitters, that includes screening carefully and reading welcome guides early, which was a missed opportunity in this case. Of course, there are liars and other cretins in the world, but they’re relatively few, and if someone actually lies or misleads in violation of THS terms, you can leave if you have a backup plan. (Of course, give 24 hours’ notice in writing to THS and the hosts if so, so alternative care is arranged for pets.)

Personally, I recommended the above, because above all else, I won’t sit in demeaning or dangerous circumstances. I’d rather risk being booted from the platform, if it came down to that. Your priorities might vary. But it’s worth noting that generally THS has kicked few people off the platform, even when they’ve done egregious things.

And note: If someone thinks it’s luck whether you get good sits or not, then logically there’d be no reason to screen sits and hosts at all — if it’s down to luck, then that would be pointless, because you’d get what you get based on randomness. In that case, cheers to those of you who rely on luck, rather than controlling what you can — taking >actions<. For instance, screening carefully, pressing for welcome guides and reading them early, having a backup plan are all actions, not luck.

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Oh gosh! I couldn’t get past

“Regarding the dog’s ’essential guide’ I’ve to put on his trousers and suit before his harness”

I’m amazed I haven’t dislocated my skull, from that double-take.

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I agree screening helps but I have been on two sits that had a manual of instructions waiting for me that was completely different from the WG. They had lots of good reviews but I thought the new requirements were unreasonable and if it was in the WG I would have canceled. One sit the husband took me to show me where the mailbox was located and he randomly said, we will be gone so just do what you want, you don’t have to follow all her rules. Then he added, I never wanted this dog. I never discussed anything with him So to rant to me was surprising. Their profile says, we live with OUR beloved dog.

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Hi Smiley,

Just to add: anything listed under amenities must be available for sitter use – that’s part of the THS terms. So if the washing machine is listed and then declared off-limits, that’s not okay.

Also, I totally agree with you – this all reads pretty extreme. I’d just write to them and say:

“I’ve only just now read the Welcome Guide – and I realize that was a big mistake on my part. But after reading it, I simply can’t do the sit. Too many things feel off, and it’s just not workable for me.”

That’s it. No need to explain every detail or justify anything. If they cancel, fine. If not, you can still walk away. You’re not breaking any rules by refusing a sit that doesn’t meet your basic expectations.

Better to back out now than spend six days walking on eggshells and washing dog pants in your bathroom sink.

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If they misrepresented a sit, then you still have choices to make. Are the changes ones you can live with, or are willing to protest and/or go counter to?

If the former, I’d do as asked. If the latter and they’re essentially trying to significantly change the terms of the sit, then I’d consider whether to toss it back in the host’s lap to solve.

So for instance, if they now say you have to stay in the house 24/7, despite agreement otherwise previously, I’d let them know that they can make arrangements for care during my outings, so I can maintain what we’d originally agreed to, based on the listing or such, but I’m not staying 24/7. And if they refuse, then I’d give 24 hours’ notice and quit the sit. And so on.

And you’d better believe if that sit weren’t cancelled and they wrote me a bad review, I’d write a factual review, warning off other sitters that the hosts lie.

Basically, sitters have agency and choices, because we’re not enslaved or conscripted — these are voluntary sits. But if you don’t use your agency — including having a backup plan in case — then you’ve essentially enabled random creepy hosts to trap or strand you. Personally, if I weren’t willing to protect myself, I wouldn’t risk doing any sitting at all, since it’s not an essential to living.

And it’s worth remembering that plenty of people do sits via other platforms or avenues. Even in worst case, if THS boots us off, that doesn’t mean you need to stop sitting.

And again, I think the risk of being booted is low, considering the many accounts of sits gone wrong we hear about.

Personally, I won’t let any potentially bad review hold me hostage to terrible hosts who lie or misrepresent. That’s especially not necessary for sitters who have plenty of good reviews. If they happen to get a random bad one, reasonable potential hosts will take that into consideration.

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I’d suggest not putting such in writing, because they could try to report you to THS, citing that it’s not a violation in terms and you’re canceling for an unreasonable cause. The reason I suggested my approach above is, you force them to cancel instead of you canceling.

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It’s Workaway. I was on there when I was younger. Had nothing but great experiences in foreign countries. Free room and board for exchange in teaching their kids conversation English. First stay was in Milan Italy. They asked I just be home at dinner time to speak with the three young kids in English. Dinner was at 8:30pm every night so had the entire day free. They had one person who was their cook, cleaner and watched the kids. The parents were both doctors and gone all day. They were so grateful and thanked me often. I brought English kids books from the US and games. Then I went to Florence and the same thing except they wanted me back at 4:30 when the kids arrived home from school. I worked with them separately for one hour each. The youngest one she said just play Legos with him and speak English. Their cook was much better and made a delicious spread each night. I was able to eat authentic Italian cooking and not eat in tourist restaurants. Then my 3 months was up and went to the UK. In Scotland of course I did not teach English but under Workaway a couple had ( don’t know what they call it) 6 rooms she rented as a vacation hiking retreat. Her husband took them hiking to beautiful places and she cooed their meals. My job was to give her ideas for marketing her facility and implement them. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also got to go hiking with them on occasion. I actually was in 7 different countries with them. But if you don’t want to live with families, this is not for you.

Hosts were allowed to contact other hosts about workawayers as they are called and you could contact workawayers or any host you like.

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I really love your strength and wisdom!

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15

They’re treating you like a total stranger, which I get when they have only had one set of sitters before, but that’s not what most sits are like, you know that, so I’d think twice.

Personally, I’d bring up certain things in a nice way to help them understand THS a little bit better, and use your initiative based on what they say to help you judge whether you sit for them or not. I wouldn’t sit for anyone who said we couldn’t use the dishwasher or washing machine unless they were broken/faulty, I see them as normal essentials in today’s world when they are available, and also, it then changes when/how we do our own washing of clothes for the sit before and the sit after with sitting full time. Although on the plus side, there’ll be no sheets to wash :joy:.

I’d also just say you’d prefer to be able to wash the dog bowls etc in the kitchen sink rather than the guest bathroom, but say you’ll wipe down the kitchen properly afterwards. I love pets, but I don’t want the bathroom we’re ‘cleaning’ ourselves in, to smell of damp dog.

Just give them the heads up that THS sits are usually a little more accommodating. Whenever an owner is quizzing me outside of THS saying ‘do sitters use our washing machine?’ I just tell them yes, naturally, it’s not much to ask when sitters are giving up their time for free and some sitters take washing powder with them and others don’t, it’s just something owners need to accept, it’s a basic essential in my eyes.

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Thank you so much for the reply @Seniorsitter! Even more so for sharing your experiences with us. That’s the coolest part of forums! :clap:
Your experience in Italy… Totally envy-worthy :rofl:
I’ve used WA too; I thought you were referring to a platform exclusively for pet/housesitting. I agree that being able to connect with people and ask about experiences is a great option. It’s not a complete guarantee, but it helps a lot.

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Is the washing machine located in the kitchen? This would be unusual in North America but common in UK and posiibly Ireland too. If that is the case then I would wonder about a plumbing issue specific to the kitchen. But, yes, unfriendly treatment of the sitter.

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Were these in the amenities list ?
(Take a screenshot)

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We had a very friendly video call and I didn’t get any worrying vibes at all. They mentioned the clothes for the dog and I said do they put them on if it’s hot, to which they replied it doesn’t get hot in Ireland.

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Yes, I’m going to write and ask them this in a non-confrontational way and see what the response is. I might tactfully say that I’m surprised by these notes after our friendly video call

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