Advice on unexpected roommate

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Hi, I’ve been using the platform since last December and completed about a dozen sits and have encountered a first: a roommate. The sit was a very last minute thing and frankly I needed a place to stay and in many ways it’s perfect. However, the hosts only mentioned very briefly in our interview that there was someone living downstairs who might occasionally come up to make something in the kitchen. I think it’s their first time using the platform as hosts and since I haven’t been doing it very long and was in a little bit of a desperate situation, I didn’t think it through. I just wanted things to work out!

On the first night when I arrived, I needed to wash sheets because the hosts had extended their vacation and weren’t expecting to have a sitter but someone was already using the washer & dryer, so I had to wait until super late at night to wash the sheets to sleep.

The next day, I met the roommate I asked if they have their own fridge and they said no. The hosts had said to help myself to anything in the fridge, so now I was worried that maybe I was eating the roommate’s food and when I expressed this, they said not to worry, everyone here shares food. I wasn’t sure what to say and am still not sure what to think of that. Certainly hoping they don’t expect to eat my food!

I’ve only seen them once a day making dinner and they do enter/exit from downstairs so we rarely cross paths but a. they have full access to the shared area upstairs, b. we’re using the same pots & pans (I felt bad because I hadn’t washed a pan and they wanted to use it and so they washed it), c. obviously sharing the same washer/dryer… and d. Maybe most importantly, I can’t comfortably do one of my favorite things, which is to walk around the house in my underwear!! :slight_smile:

Plus, I’m concerned because obviously Trusted Housesitters has vetted me, but if anything went wrong with the animals or my stuff or anything like that, there’s no way to hold anyone accountable.

I’m only two days into an 2-week sit and the roommate seems nice and I want to stay for the rest of the sit… but I am now aware that I shouldn’t have been put in this position and it’s starting to bug me that I can’t have the privacy I’m used to.

Of course lesson learned for the future but wondering what y’all think I should do in terms of saying something to the host and/or THS?

2

Third parties are not permitted on THS

“A pet parent must ensure that their property is vacant and that no other person will be living in the home apart from the sitters. This includes (and is not limited to) no family members, tenants, or employees.”

https://support.trustedhousesitters.com/hc/en-gb/articles/360001881117-Guest-third-party-policy

You can use the 24/7 phone line to ask to member services for advise and I would think that you would be permitted to leave the sit now based on a third party living there .( which wasn’t disclosed in the listing )

Personally I would not have confirmed the sit once the host notified me that there was a third party living there . This is because I am not willing to take on all the potential risks as stated in your post .

However you said that you accepted the sit knowing about the 3rd party because you needed a place to stay . In which case own your decision which it seems was the best option available to you at the time .

3

It’s obviously against THS T&Cs but you seem to be in a situation where you are just going to accept it. Going forward the lesson to be learned is don’t compromise on the basics. This situation could go sideways VERY fast and is a potential minefield. I would suggest alerting THS and getting in front of the issue. Also educating the HO re the rules. Good luck.

4

Hi @tenayapapaya

This is one of those situations where the roommate seems perfectly pleasant, but that’s almost beside the point. The issue is that you’re not staying in the home that was advertised.

After many years and hundreds of sits, we’ve learned not to compromise on the basics, even when it’s a last-minute booking. Shared living arrangements change the nature of a sit quite a bit, from privacy and use of the home to responsibility if something goes wrong.

If you’re comfortable staying, that’s your decision, but I’d let THS know now rather than waiting until after the sit. That way there’s a record that a third party is living in the property. I’d also politely let the owners know that this arrangement isn’t permitted under THS rules, as they may genuinely not realise it.

Hopefully the rest of the sit goes smoothly, but I’d definitely avoid this type of arrangement in future.

:paw_prints: :heart:

5

You have already decided you are staying so not much point in asking for advice at this point.

If you ever put yourself in a vulnerable position with no Plan B then you are more likely to be taken advantage of.

Review accordingly at the end of the sit to warn others.

6

Making the host or THS aware of your concerns won’t help you at all and could potentially result in retaliation in the form of a negative review. If you do say something to the host or THS for the good of the petsitting community, do it after reviews are exchanged and consider putting this in your review. To the effect of “I was surprised to find that I was sharing the residence with a roommate which is against THS policy”.

7

@tenayapapaya, we support great advice already posted.

There seems two level to this situation - you, and THS. We’d encourage to reflect on your desired outcome.

  • Do you want to leave?
  • Do you want to stay?
  • If stay, are the any pragmatic steps that can be introduced?

Re THS, suggest contact THS (support@trustedhousesitters.com or call number in app) for both advice and heads-up. Please disclose objective facts in a polite but honest review.

8

Thank you for your thoughtful response!

9

Thank you!

10

Thank you for your response. Yes, this is certainly a learning process.

11

The host mentioned there was a person living downstairs and they would use the shared kitchen when you talked to them before you accepted the sit. You agreed to it. It would be unfair of you now to abandon the pets. You made your choice before the sit started. It sounds that if you find better accommodations you want to leave. After the sit is over I would mention in the review that you are new and didn’t realize this was against policy. But really you didn’t read the rules just like the host didn’t so you are both at fault. I would notify THS after the sit is over. Don’t go back on your word. Animals well being are at stake.

12

Also your title says unexpected roommate but that is not true. You were informed beforehand. She can still review you if you abandon the ship. I would leave you a bad review. Agreeing to something and in essence getting mad at yourself for doing so.

13

You’ve received great advice, which covers pretty much everything.

I would just focus on

It seems you are determined to stay. If that’s really the situation, then I would consider that

Contacting THS, might help in the sense that they are aware of the T&Cs breach but if things went really wrong, that would not help much either.

It’s really hard for me to step into your shoes because I would not have accepted the sit and, if I had been surprised on arrival, I would have just contacted both HO and THS and left. But you already are in this situation and, if you decide to stay, I think you’ll have to compromise and make the best of it. Have a friendly conversation with the room mate and come to an agreement regarding use of shared facilities and responsibilities.

If everything works out, you then can decide how and when contact owner and THS. In my opinion, the most effective approach would be writing an honest factual review admitting your own responsibility in knowingly accepting the sit. It seems both the HO and yourself were unaware of T&Cs. The OH seems to have been a bit fearful of not being able to secure you as a sitter, otherwise they would have made full disclosure. This is not a case of

Good luck to you!

14

Mark them down for leaving you with dirty bedlinens too.

15

I can’t even bear reading your story, let alone going through it. You allowed this HO to have it both ways-getting paid rent and getting free pet sit service, they’re not qualified to use this platform, you allowed it to happen. You satisfied this HO’s needs at the cost of your own well being. Good for them, bad for you. You choice, your life.

16

@tenayapapaya I don’t know how dire your circumstances are but if you aren’t able to cover expenses if you don’t have a booked sit or need to leave a sit with valid reasons, chances are you will repeat this scenario in one form or another. As for your question, I note these points (text in italics being quoted):

  • unexpected roommate - was not unexpected as you were aware of this before you confirmed
  • in many ways it’s perfect - something is either perfect or it’s not - in this case, it’s not
  • the hosts had extended their vacation and weren’t expecting to have a sitter - I can only assume they only own one set of sheets in which case they should have made time to wash them or bought a second set. I’m seeing a lack of respect for a sitter at this point.
  • I can’t comfortably do one of my favorite things, which is to walk around the house in my underwear!! - surely this should have been obvious to you when you agreed to share space with a roommate?
  • there’s no way to hold anyone accountable - another point that you should have realized before confirming the sit
  • I shouldn’t have been put in this position - YOU put yourself in this position. Given you’ve admitted this, I don’t see why you want to approach the host or THS.

You have done 12 sits in six months, so you are not new to this lifestyle. Chances are you will repeat major compromises again as it seems you disregard red flags or gut feelings and likely don’t have the resources to have a backup plan.

I’ve been on this forum for more than five years. Your story, in one form or another, comes from those who choose - and you did choose - to allow members to disrespect them. Final quote: Of course lesson learned for the future - sadly, I doubt it.

17

It sounds like she took over from another sitter because the hosts unexpectedly extended their trip, so I’m not sure how the hosts could have done much about the bed linens. I suppose they might have asked the roommate or the previous sitter to take care of it, but it does all sound a bit ad hoc to me — and that both the hosts & sitter were aware things weren’t going to be set up in normal way due to the situation.

To the OP: your situation doesn’t seem ideal, & isn’t one I’d have ever agreed to take on. However, it sounds like you were aware of the unusual circumstances and agreed to it because you needed the sit (which seems to be where most of these issues come up, in so many cases.) Presuming you don’t feel your safety is at risk, I think you’re just going to have to suck it up this time around, & use it as a lesson learned for future. It would certainly seem churlish to subsequently mark a host down or report them after knowingly agreeing to the terms of the sit — to me, anyway.

I think talking to the roommate about expectations re:food & privacy (in a polite & earnest way) would be your best bet at this point. Hopefully they can understand you hadn’t quite thought things through ahead of time, & you can come to a workable agreement for the remainder of the sit…but do remember that they actually live in the home full time — so it is also their house, after all.

(I do have to say it bewilders me that the hosts didn’t just ask the roommate to watch pets and hire a walker or drop-in, but :woman_shrugging:)

18

Hard to say as she also thought they were first timers. Perhaps OP can clarify at some point.

19

Once they knew of the tenant downstairs, I’m very surprised the sitter didn’t ask for more specifics and expectations. Sounds like they were desperate for a place to be and were willing to deal with any fallout. So, not sure what they want from this forum other than being told, “don’t do it again”.

20

In my opinion, the situation you find yourself in is solely on you. Primarily because from your own statement that you needed a place to stay and were desperate. It was not about the pet, it was all about you having a place to stay. Communication is and always has been the key ingredient in sitting, both yours and the owners, NOT THS. Over the years, I have observed that more people lack that skill and expect someone else to take care of it.

Take photos of every room you are accountable for and everything in them. Then make sure everything is exactly as it was when you arrived and then return home to owners. There can be no question then. In future, question owners about their expectations and be clear on your expectations. This is about PETS being cared for NOT you having a place to live!