This was our first experience wih TH and I am left with several questions.
The first being, is it OK to ask the sitter to contribute to the extra cost of full risk insurance to cover both her and our car for the 7 weeks? We were relieved to have done this as she did not appear to be a very confident driver. We had talked about insurance prior to the sit. The cost of about 60€ was contested at the end of the sit, as was our request for a full tank of gas, which I consider to be a normal request, (though we had only left her with a half tank).
i gave a completely honest review, which is I consider important for future house owners.
I thanked her for the long sit, the welcome home with flowers, the good care of the dog, the tidy house and watered plants and garden etc. I then mentionned the unwelcome suprises discovered on our return. We had not been able to meet up as she apparantly had to leave early for the next sit.
On top of the normal laundry to wash, there were 7 extra bath towels, a missing saucepan, and a perfectly good frying pan in amongst the weeks of unemptied and totally mixed dustbins that we had to sort. I will not go into further details here. Too long!
The reponse has been like a bomb! A review accusing us of harassment, insults, bullying and lies. An unexpected visit by a friend who entered the house, on hearing no response having knocked and called out; was considered a crime and an agression .
This reaction full of lies and exageration literally made me feel sick to my stomach. I felt that I had done everything to make her welcome and comfortable. She arrived with plenty of time to settle in and ask any questions. Her boyfriend came to join her for 10 days or so, I allowed her to use my computer, she had use of our car, and she had both my daughter’s and a friend’s phone number to contact if in need.
I am left with the feeling that she is unstable and not capable of taking full responsability for another’s property.
She is passionate about animals and for that she is 10 star.
You asked her to pay for a half tank of gas for YOUR use.
She took good care of your dog.
She left your house clean.
She watered the plants and garden.
She left 7 towels for you to wash.
A saucepan is missing.
She threw a frying pan into the garbage?
The “dustbins” were mixed up. Is that the recycling or garbage?
A friend of yours entered the house unexpectedly while the Sitter was there.
Interesting. There are two items in this list that are REAL problems. Why should the Sitter have to provide you with a half tank of gas? And why is one of your friends entering the house unannounced while the Sitter is there? I think I feel sick.
For use of the car you’re absolutely within your rights to ask that she pay for the additional insurance. I would also expect to top up the tank unless I only used it for a few miles in which case i may not take an empty tank to full but would certainly put a decent amount in. I would say the only exception would be if you wanted her to use the car to drive the dog to a beach or park for walks or take you to the airport etc. In that case I would think the costs were yours.
The issues you raised seemed minor and it seems outrageous to say that someone is unstable and not qualified to care for a home based on them. I think that many sitters who read such a review would avoid sitting for the host.
Filling a car up with gas when you’ve used it is pretty normal behaviour wherever I have lived. I used my neighbour’s car for years when I needed one and just topped the tank up or put a decent amount in if it was a short trip. It’s the least you can do for the use of a car.
They were quite clear the visit from a friend was unexpected so if they didn’t know there was a sitter and they found a door unlocked and no response to knocking going in isn’t the end of the world. They may have suprised the sitter but it’s hardly unannounced or aggresive behaviour on the face of it and definitely not a crime.
HO left a half tank and wanted a full tank. While I am likely to fill it up all the way as a courtesy, I don’t think it should be expected, much less demanded.
I think sometimes HO’s have higher expectations for sitter’s than for themselves.
Did you think to ask about those few issues via what’s app or email before you posted a review?
I would have collected the 60 up front.
Asked for only a 1/2 tank of gas returned.
The laundry issue is unclear as to expectations.
Leaving early for another sit is ok but it sounds like that changed from what you agreed? Or did she leave your pet unattended? If it changed…doesn’t seem like a deal breaker for a good review. If your pet was compromised…that is a big deal.
NO WAY should anyone have entered the home. That person should have called you to call the sitter or perhaps you give that person the sitter # to call.
To me THAT is the worst thing that happened during this sit.
That would make it into my review of the HO.
For 7 weeks of car use you would want the owner to get it back as it was? I can’t believe anyone would think 50 days of car use isn’t worth $30 of gas.
If it was a case of you can borrow the car just return it full this is a no-brainer. If nothing was mentioned about this upfront then sure you can’t complain too much when it comes back as it was but you’d definitely be off my christmas card list.
Depends on what the sitter used the car for. If it was mostly for business (taking the dog out for walks, getting groceries), then I would not feel obliged to fill up the tank.
So the value of “7 weeks of car use” would depend a bit on mileage for sightseeing.
It sounds like you had a really good sitter. I’m sorry you were left disappointed.
Did you leave clear instructions about the dustbins? Here in the US every city takes different recyclables. When someone assumes that my city takes the same things as their city i end up having to dive into the huge bin to remove things. So I ask sitters and guests to leave the sorting for me.
The request to pay for car insurance and extra gas for you is a little unusual but as long as it’s discussed and agreed upon up front that seems reasonable.
Having a surprise guest enter the property while the sitter was there is completely unacceptable and against THS terms of service. Your sitter should expect both privacy and safety and allowing 3rd parties is not ok.
Thanks for all this feedback to my moan about things. Good to get it off my chest!
To have had someone else’s car for 7 weeks and to have insurance to pay is I think normal. To ask for not ‘demand’ a full tank is perhaps to expect too much. Lesson learnt!
On return home I expected to wash HS sheets, towel etc as normal, but 7 bath towels to wash did seem over the top for one person… Not important.
Saucepan tossed; not her’s to toss, should have been put aside, and missing saucepan just added to the anoyance. Also cutlery was all very tarnished which has never happened before and has never needed special treatment.
2 large dustbins of garbage and recyclables were all mixed togather, so we had to sort and were then accused of going through rubbish to spy on HS. Not on, and lies.
Unexpected visitor, I accept disturbing for HS but she wanted tp call the police. I calmed down what seemed to me to be an over reaction. In her review we are accused of asking a friend to break into the house!
These accusations have lead me to feel that HS is unstable etc. At no point has she been willing to simply talk about things and find a balanced acceptance together. She is in denial and that has made it difficult. I am, I m frequently told, a very easy going and generous person. I guess all my buttons have been pushed on this one!
In the end , I feel sorry that this has worked this way for us both, and really hope for HS that all is well for her.
THS is a learning curve and each experience will enable you to make the next one better, including being specific about your requirements in the listing under ‘sitter responsibilities’.
A question to bear in mind when you feel frustrated - How much $$$s did you save through offering a homestay via THS versus paid sitting or kennel/boarding?
I’m always added to car insurance, never once have I been asked to pay for it. However, if this is agreed upfront, payment can be requested up front before actioned.
It’s fair to hope that the car to be returned with the SAME amount of gas you leave it with; something you can also confirm in writing on your profile as part of the sitters responsibilities.
‘No response’ to knocking on a front door means ‘come back later’!! Someone entering the house without pre-agreement with the sitter is a violation of privacy and your agreement.
The rest seems like semantics to me, but if it’s important to you, write it on your profile listing under ‘sitter responsibilities’, and you can also itemise your belongings and leave as a checklist for sitters.
On the one side I applaud your flexibility with this sitter, on the other hand I put the misunderstandings in the “expectations not met” category.
You were generous in allowing her the use of the car for what we can only imagine was a mix of personal and sitting-related use, however you should have mentioned upfront that she should have had to pay for the extra insurance. In my opinion it goes without saying that she should have refilled it at least at the half tank mark you left it with—I’d probably have filled it up completely.
You allowed her boyfriend to stay for 10 days too, that’s also commendable.
The dustbins not being sorted: was this need mentioned in the welcome guide? Sitters come from everywhere in the world, and even the same country may have different rules.
Your friend entering the house announced is a big no-no. What if she was just stepping out of the shower and found this person inside?
How could she have known that he was an actual friend of yours and not a guy just saying that he was? She’s there to keep your house safe, but first and foremost she needed to feel safe.
Expectations need to be spelled out to avoid disappointment. When things don’t go as expected because they weren’t clear from the beginning, it’s tough to go back to the person and say “you didn’t do this, you did that”. Getting in touch with the sitter to talk about the issues instead of dishing them out in a review will at least give them a chance to explain.
An unexpected visit by a friend who entered the house, on hearing no response having knocked and called out; was considered a crime and an agression.
Well, while it may not be a crime or aggression, it could be EXTREMELY unnerving and I for one would NOT appreciate this (she could have been in the shower, napping, on a zoom call, any number of reasons not to answer door). I would personally be extremely upset about this as well as startled. So I don’t blame the sitter being upset about that one!
What was the agreement for the use of the car? Was it for sightseeing, for emergencies only, for local use such as getting groceries, for taking the pets to parks? If it was unlimited use for sightseeing, etc, then maybe having her pay insurance is reasonable. If it was limited use for groceries, taking the pets places, or just for emergencies, then I would say you should pay the insurance. However, asking the sitter to pay for anything needs to be discussed and negotiated up front before the sit is confirmed. If it was not agreed to prior to the sit then that’s on you. As far as the gas goes, If you provided the car with a half tank, it seems reasonable to expect it to be returned with a half tank. I would probably just fill it up to be nice, but if I was specifically told to buy you a half tank of gas, I would be annoyed and inclined to just return it exactly as I found it.
Garbage and recycling varies enormously by country, state, and even by city. If you have strict requirements, it’s up to you to provide extremely detailed instructions, don’t think it’s obvious.
What HOs want done with sheets/towels also varies considerably from sit to sit and it’s up to you to provide your expectations. It’s unclear from the post whether she didn’t follow your guidelines or whether they were not provided.
I agree the saucepan and fry pan issues are weird, but it sounds like these are really the only issues with the sit from your side. Are you sure the saucepan is missing and not just in a different place?
Someone entering the house is a major issue and the sitter had every right to be upset. How would you feel if you encountered a stranger in the home? Would that make you feel safe there? I assume that you gave this person permission to enter the home.
Obviously, we don’t know all the details here, but it sounds like your pets were well taken care of and that’s what’s important.
@HoneyBee
I do really think you were too critical. An honest review is important. Nitpicking is just petty. I’ve only been asked 1 time out 6 to contribute to the insurance and that was splitting the €66. I will return the car with a little more fuel that it had when I got it. While it may be common in your circles to buy someone a tank of gas, you can’t expect everyone to have the same ideas.
It’s not very common in my circles for someone to just barge into one’s home. After no response, my friends would leave.
Did you ask them about the discarded pan? Why they felt they should get rid of it? Towel-big deal. We wouldn’t leave them but is that really a deal breaker for you. After caring for your pets.
Trash sorting is one of the most complicated things we deal with. Every village, town, and city have different instructions. It’s just a guess for someone coming into your home.
Yes, it was good that you let them use your car. Was it to take the dogs for walks or just sightseeing? Given that they took great care of your pets & home, I feel you were being extremely critical of non-consequential things. You need to be honest about the things that matter-mainly the care of your pets and home. It sounds like their response was predictable based on your nitpicking.
She doesn’t sound unstable, nor does she sound not capable!!!
The reason I say that, is because you wrote “I thanked her for the long sit, the welcome home with flowers, the good care of the dog, the tidy house and watered plants and garden etc.”
I would imagine having your friend enter the house made her feel totally uncomfortable, unsafe, like she was being watched, and completely on edge. It would have tarnished her whole stay from there onwards, she wouldn’t have been able to relax.
You say “I felt that I had done everything to make her welcome and comfortable.” That didn’t happen, please understand that a complete stranger entered the property while she was there, it’s SCARY!!!
Accidents can happen with pans etc, and mixed up dustbins is sort-of expected when every different places have different rules for bins.
The car money was a totally normal request, but she probably views that differently after she was made to panic, feel unsafe, feel watched, and feel uncomfortable, and potentially scared at the time. Think about if that were you, how would you be feeling if someone walked into your hotel room for example?
I have had plenty of feedback from this Forum, and I recognise my mistakes and limits. I now want to move on so am closing this communication. It all takes up too much time and mental space, but thank you all for helping me to see the HS point of view more clearly.