Yeah the thing is, as you’ve said, this is only my third sit, so a bad review could potentially ruin my entire sitting ‘career’.
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@mars Agreed. The review system has always been an interesting one. I sorta like the fact that you must really, REALLY, REALLY detest someone to initiate Mutually Assured Destruction. I also will follow-up with owners that don’t review; “Hey, EXCUSSSSSSEEEEeeeeeEEEE MEEEEEEeeee!, but you can’t take a minute to review me, but I stayed in your “home” for a month?”
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Hi @artgirl. Just adding my two cents:
- Take your time, and try to separate the steps.
- For example, you say you leave tomorrow. So step one is maybe just survive, while taking notes/photos for your own records.
- Step two may seem like review/feedback, but my understanding is their is no deadline on this. So like @andrealovesanimals, you can just wait and see how you feel even in six months.
- The real step two might then be to rest and process after the sit. Get quality sleep. Treat yourself. Journal about it. (Can also be in step one.) If it were me, I’d talk to my therapist about it (or a good friend); something cathartic.
- @Samson’s advice may seem trite, but I agree with the concept of a growth/improve mindset. I posted about it like yesterday in another topic (just search). Think of all the things you’re learning about how to improve future sits! (including screening PPs for a good fit)
- It’s awesome that you’re aware you’re not “particularly resilient.” What do you know about Brene Brown? I haven’t read much of her, but I’m guessing she’d say you can learn to be more resilient. You can!
On another note, I’m curious how much mediation TH support could provide in the middle of a sit. I feel like Airbnb customer service has people you can contact anytime there’s an issue mid-stay. Might want to try.
Stay frosty!
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I think I’m definitely going to start taking before and after photos for sits, even if just for my own sanity if nothing else. I have a few from this sit but I wish I’d taken more.
I’ve always been a very sensitive soul and always take things to heart. But I’m also incredibly self perceptive - I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I know that this HO was out of line (and has been multiple times). I let myself get caught in a limbo of self-doubt/feeling awful about myself an my abilities but also simultaneously annoyed at the lack of fairness. Just overall helplessness.
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Thank you so much for your heartfelt response. It really has made me feel better that I’m not alone. It seems so nerve-wracking how much house sitters are scrutinised and how HO can often get off lightly for certain behaviours. It is crazy to me how we are often treated like employees or professional cleaners, yet without getting paid. And shouted at as if we are naughty children/employees. I will definitely be more vigilant during the video call/meeting stages. Honestly from our first meeting I could tell there was something off about HO but as a sitter you feel like you can’t be choosey because you really want the sit. I’ve learned my lesson now.
Side note for my sit, I think it also speaks volumes that when the owner returned through the front door, the pets walked away in the other direction and one growled/barked…lol.
Post moderated to comply with posting guidelines
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Thank you everyone for sharing and giving advice. This is a really interesting topic that needs to be addressed. It’s true that sitters seem to be under much greater pressure than home owners.
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@artgirl shouting at a sitter is never acceptable. I’d contact THS helpline immediately if that happened.
There are some HO’s that treat sitters like employee’s but thankfully there are far more great HO’s that value us sitters greatly which leads to friendships for life.
It’s tough when you start out as you say in that you want to accept all sits you get but better to be selective.
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I advise everyone against accepting sits because you don’t think you’ll get another one. This can lead to very bad experiences. I accepted my one bad sit because I really wanted to spend time in that location, but it was a HUGE learning experience - I’ll never do that again. The next time I really want to go somewhere but can’t get a sit, I’ll either pay for accommodation, or just travel at another time.
And no, shouting at sitters is not acceptable. Neither is bombarding them with critical messages after they have left…
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You definitely aren’t alone, I promise you that. I have had several less than pleasant experiences throughout my time as a sitter and I committed to taking a break from it for a while as I’d become a bit disenchanted with it all.
I have encountered HOs who are so appreciative and a real pleasure to deal with and unfortunately there are those who seem to regard a sitter as unpaid staff.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my time of doing this is that if something feels even remotely off at any stage during the communication prior to taking on the sit, it’s best not to proceed. Even if there are many aspects of the sit which seem tempting, we still do need to be liaising on a regular basis with the HOs throughout the sit. Therefore, it’s crucial that there’s a mutual feeling of goodwill and respect established on both sides beforehand as opposed to it being an employer and employee scenario.
I can understand how an experience such as this can really knock your confidence and I’ve certainly been there. My advice would be to be very discerning during the conversation you have with any HO in future. Usually, there’s a giveaway in their attitude be that good or not so good that is usually a fairly accurate indicator of what they may be like to deal with. I like to think of myself as a good judge of character but I do still get it wrong from time to time and that’s usually when I’ve ignored that initial gut feeling.
I wish you all the very best going forward. 
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Admin Notice: May we please remind everyone to be aware of and abide by our Community Rules as we will remove comments which are personal, disrespectful and contribute nothing to the conversation.
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@Chatsetchiens
Thank you for your post, it felt like you were speaking directly to me!
Yes, a good feeling towards the owners is essential. And yes, you can test that before the sit, through video calls and messages. Before my one bad sit, there were several bad signs that I chose to ignore. Never again!
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I lived the same situation, maybe with the same HO, and I preferred not to leave a review. For the HO it’s already the 2th time not to be reviewed, so I think this will be an alarm bell for the future sitters. Luckily THS is full of wonderful HO!
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Hello @Marina and it’s nice to see you again on the Forum. 
For reference as a member you can also add your TrustedHousesitters profile on to your Forum profile by following the attached link, should you wish. This will then enable others to offer you helpful advice and feedback.
If you are unsure how to do this, or if you have any questions at all, do not hesitate to ask, we are all more than happy to help.
I have attached a thread below, it would be great if you could join in with this as we think you could offer great feedback and your input would be a great addition. 
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Hi @Marina sorry to hear that you have had a similar experience with an HO and I understand why you didn’t leave a review .
Did you know that THS will investigate a situation like this ?
thank you, good to know
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I had a problem once, she treated me badly by phone (about a stupid thing, cat’s food)I told her I was not her servant and “please find somebody to come here, I will be leaving tomorrow…” She immediately apologized and since then I was her favourite sitter… Not a disgusting word anymore.
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@artgirl so sorry you had an awful sit, I can’t imagine feeling that way after going above and beyond for someone else. It sounds like it has really nothing to do with you and it is the HO’s own issues that are being taken out on you.
We are both HO and HS (but yet to sit). We have had a uncomfortable experience with a HS and I found TH customer service support excellent in handling the situation. TH also is then aware of the actions and can educate the party on the TH rules and expectations. TH also could look through all of our communications in the message part of the app and see our conversations. As a HO from that experience I was not sure if I wanted to do another but the TH customer service was so helpful and clear that we were not in the wrong we decided to try again and the next HS we had were absolutely wonderful, have come back again and still keep in contact (calling to wish me a happy Mother’s Day). So don’t throw in the towel, but do alert TH customer service of your experience so they can be aware.
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@carla-moderator I’m so glad you posted that because when I got done reading the other comments I was going to recommend that she contacted THS.
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OMG, when I read this comment from artgirl
I firstly felt bad for her and secondly freaked out, as being on the edge of welcoming my first Housesitters. I’m working hard to prepare for them and want badly to make sure they’re happy, comfortable and pleased they accepted my invitation. I just hope everything I’m doing gets us all there.
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