I am currently being real-time abused by an applicant for a sit. She will not stop. Any ideas on what to do? I have cancelled the dates from my listing and contacted the helpdesk but they have said there is no blocking feature. She is saying the most horrendous things to me. She’s clearly unwell mentally and I feel that THS should take it seriously.
All I did was explain very politely that I was unable to put her up the night before the sit as I have young children and did not feel comfortable with having a stranger stay when they were there. I sent a message to her to tell her that prior to our interview because last night I interviewed another woman and had an equally disturbing interaction, although thankfully just the interview and she has had the decency not to contact me again.
Last night the interview was so strange - the sitter wouldn’t let me get a word in, she talked at me and controlled the conversation completely. Is that usual for sitters? I have only ever had the situation where we ask mutual questions but as the pet owner I am very interested in how the sitter feels and behaves with animals - so would expect to be able to ask these questions and maybe what they do for a living, and why they would like to visit the city and look after animals.
The woman last night took offence at me saying I was unable to put her up the night before the sit start, even though it was stated in the description of the sit. She also had a go at me that I did not have photos of my house on the profile. I do this intentionally as I do not want to advertise the inside of my home straight up, I am a single parent and there are reasons for me not to want to put the inside of my house up. Whilst I appreciate this may be controversial, it has never been issue previously. I will of course send photos to all applicants after interview, and have always done that, unless I sense they are not suitable at all. But I always send them to everyone I interview, for me the most important is the animals and the sitter, the house is secondary, obviously it has to be clean and tidy - that is a given in this scenario. That way everyone can be honest.
Anyway, since starting to type this she has sent me 3 more messages…I am very tempted to delete my whole account as it is terrible that someone can be able to do this. I have just sent her a one liner, hoping perhaps if I’m as rude as her she will just go away, and will leave me alone, despite asking her to stop she seems not to be able to understand politeness.
Has anyone else had this or am I the only one?! As she is stating.
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@SunshineDays
Screenshot all the messages - are they in the inbox ?
Contact Urgent Support Phone Line it’s a 24/7 phone number .
Tell Trusted House Sitters that you want to raise a member dispute because this applicant is harassing you . Send them all the screenshots . It’s important that you use the words member dispute if you want THS to take any action against this member .
(Listings are supposed to have a minimum of 5 internal photos . However it’s up to sitters if they choose to apply without these photos - and certainly doesn’t justify harassment .)
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Thank you, I’ll do that. No this one is just abusing me because after arranging the interview I messaged to the inbox and explained in case it wasn’t clear, that I wouldnt be able to put her up for the night. I then received a tirade. I replied as I was taken aback, was polite, but it then made her even worse, and now I’ve had it all day, despite speaking to customer services on the chat, but maybe that was a bot only? I haven’t had a chance to look up what I should do, I didnt know about the urgent support number. Thank you.
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Please phone them - to let them know asap- they are very supportive , but can’t take action unless it’s reported .
Use the words member dispute
Provide screenshots ( they will be able to see the messages if they are in the THS inbox )
Please report back to the forum when it’s sorted .
All the best .
Also, I wanted to add to my main post - that she’s started also harassing me about my previous reviews on two sitters that weren’t very good and a sit I also did that I have posted about previously here - none of these sits were good experiences and I wrote honest reviews, she’s now using that has evidence that I am the problem. Its truly horrible, I can’t believe it. Is it just the way of the world now, people hiding behind the anonymity of a screen? I definitely won’t be renewing my membership. THS never got back to me about the sit I did where there were serious concerns about animal welfare, and the state of the house, with rats etc. I can’t believe I am the only one having these experiences. My life is perfectly normal otherwise and we had a very lovely couple sit the first time in 2023.
@SunshineDays so sorry, this is definitely not usual behaviour. It is never acceptable to stalk someone, or continuing to send messages when someone asks you to stop. Not in real life and not at THS.
As to your specific situation, you don’t have to explain why you can’t host the night before. You can just say, at the start of your listing: Unfortunately, due to logistics, I can’t provide a place to sleep the night before the sit.
Of course, you can’t then expect then sitter to show up at 6am for a handover when you leave for the airport! I’m not saying you’ll do that, I’m just saying, be reasonable to meet the sitter halfway, it’s give and take.
Hope you find someone suitable and polite! Most of us are very polite.
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Are you in an area that the applications you are getting are not suitable, or are you getting 5 applicants, the limit and not suitable? Perhaps, screen them with questions and repost.
It sounds horrible. What vague location are you in? We’re sitters in the UK and fortunately we’ve had amazing hosts, and there’s a level of mutual respect and appreciation for one another right from the start.
PS You didn’t need to explain the reason why you didn’t want her to stay the night before, you could simply have just said no. If that’s what she wanted, she should have asked when she made her application.
Be thankful you discovered her true colours now, instead of down the line.
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Did you raise a member dispute about this sit at the time ?
I ask because THS don’t read reviews of sits . Even if they are only 1 star . That’s just to warn other sitters . The experiences reported by forum members about raising complaints shows that THS only investigate complaints if the words Member dispute are used and evidence submitted.
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It’s a bit confusing — if the applicant became abusive after you declined the overnight stay, why did you continue to communicate with them afterward? Also, you’ve had so many bad experiences with sitters, why? Understanding the sequence of events might help clarify if this was just a misunderstanding or something more concerning.
This sitter sounds in need of help.
Bigger picture, not sharing photos in your listing probably is skewing worse sitters to apply vs. good ones. I say that, because most sitters — especially ones with the strongest reviews and many of them — don’t need to waste time (and usually won’t) on listings that seem off, one-sided, incomplete and such.
For instance, THS requires a minimum set of photos that help sitters decide whether to pursue a sit. You don’t even offer that in your listing. Personally, I’d automatically skip your listing, because of that. And many sitters would.
Given that you won’t abide by THS terms, it’s better that you don’t renew, IMO.
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I don’t think being rude back will de- escalate the problem , it will just add fuel to the fire .
What have member services said ?
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For a sitter the house is very important, there are so many sits with lovely pets to choose from ( over 8,000 listings at present ) - a sitter needs to see what the house is like to decide which sit they will feel comfortable in . Which is why THS requires that the listing has a minimum of 5 internal photos .
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As others have said, raise a member dispute. It sounds like this person shouldn’t be on the platform. Sitters (or anyone) should be able to accept a ‘no’ without having a fit.
However, it sounds like your listing is one that is a hard pass for many experienced sitter and that may be why you are getting lower quality or less experienced sitters applying. I would never apply to a listing with no internal photos. Keep in mind that this is an exchange. Sitters are offering pet and home care. Hosts are offering accommodations. If a host isn’t willing to show what they are offering in this exchange, I don’t bother applying.
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I agree with other experienced sitters here. A listing with no internal pictures is a turn off for me. And a host saying, as you have done, that the animals and sitters are more important than showing the home indicates a lack of care/interest towards the sitters needs. Remember this is an exchange and the sitter wants to know what they are getting out of it. Most sitters are not in it just for the love of (your) animals- its the whole package- they want to know the living situation- where they will sleep, cook, hangout etc. I would not book a hotel/airbnb without seeing pics and I would not confirm a sit without either! Before even agreeing a video call I’d want to see all the pics- that’s if I’ve bothered to apply at all to a listing with no pics!
As to hosting the sitter- you absolutely don’t have to, and its good you mention that in your listing. Some sitters would prefer to make their own arrangements anyway and not overlap. The only tricky point would be if you are leaving at some god-awful hour and expect the sitter to show up at the crack of dawn. As long as handover arrangements can be comfortably agreed to suit everyone then all is well.
I’m sorry you are being harrassed. That is absolutely not OK. Good to find out about unreasonable behaviour now rather than after confirming- I think you dodged a bullet there.
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Not only would I find such a lack of trust rather upsetting, but it would also be a significant red flag for me (among others, such as the absence of pictures). Therefore, I would immediately withdraw my application upon reading your explanation. In fact, I most likely wouldn’t even apply to a posting lacking pictures or indicating negative experiences with multiple sitters
As ‘they’ say, once is a fluke, twice is a pattern. It’s likely the sitters didn’t perceive your messages as polite as you intended. Of course, that doesn’t excuse abusive behavior, and the sitter should be reported.
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I am so sorry that you’re going through this completely inappropriate, jarring and stressful lexperience. It is NOT the norm.
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Is she somehwat local ? If so, please immediately contact your local pd and report the harrassment with any details, evidence you have.
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While it is your prerogative to not take pics in your ad, this may be more of a disadvantage than an advantage. Respecting your very valid needs for security, a few pics of the inside of your home don’t violate this as no one (aside from those who have already been inside) would be able to glean anything about the location or any other identifying details.
Many of us won’t even apply to a sit without being able to see at least a few interior pics in the post. Yes, it is about the animals first and foremost. But watching those animals in a home that is clean, appropriate for a given sitter etc. is also very important. You’re wasting time by only sending pics after an interview as sitters may not want to stay in the home after seeing it (NO offense here ! Just trying to keep it simple)
I hope that you get some resolution and peace soon !
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I had no idea about the rule to have 5 internal photos and no one has ever mentioned it. I joined in 2016 and I suspect it has changed since then. I have only ever had pictures of my animals in the house and garden. I have always shared photos after I speak to someone in person. It is only one sitter who mentioned it. I think this has become much more a house sitting site with animals instead of a pet sitting site in peoples homes.
Thanks for your comments and advice.
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Thank you for your comment. I’m not sure you fully understand the situation. I have many photos on my profile of my animals in my house and garden.
I have been a member since 2016 and was not aware of a requirement to have photos of my house. Perhaps the rules have changed since I originally set up my account. I just replaced old photos with new when I restarted using post pandemic. This has only come up now in the last 24 hours with one sitter. It’s not what my post was about.
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Maybe it’s hard to understand I don’t know, I arranged an interview with this woman for tomorrow. I then thought I should clarify ahead of that interview that i could not have her to stay the night before the sit started. She then wrote an abusive message to me in response. I replied politely and declined her. I have then been receiving messages all day steadily escalating - maybe she is a drinker 
- I asked her to stop and she continued. That’s all. I was wondering if this is normal for sitters to react in this way, is it because it’s anonymous and the world has become like this.
