Hi all
Although I’ve secured 3 lovely UK sits, I have four still open applications that are now several days old.
Two have been read but no ‘thanks for applying we’ll get back to you’ and two unread.
It’s rude isn’t it. I mean do they want a sitter or not?
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It is rude, but it happens. I have 3 months±applications un-recognized and unanswered. Som hosts get cold feet or arrange petsit off platform without answering. I see it as part of MY vetting process. If they don’t answer in a timely manner I’m not interested.
My experience is that sits that actually take place have been a result of hosts reaching out within 24-48 hours. Longer than that usually result in decline or just… crickets..
The most.. «interesting»… was the host that reached out three weeks after and asked if I was still interested, when I said yes, should we set up a videocall? no answer in three days and then a decline without explanation. Tbh I wouldn’t have accepted an invitation at that point even if offered. I really don’t like that kind of behavior and think such a host would be a risk for a sit.
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If the sits are for quite a way off in the future, perhaps the HO haven’t checked the site in a few days. Perhaps they have some work/family issues that needed attention. I don’t necessarily see it as rude, there are a million things in life that happen and not everyone is as online as I am.
Of course, they could just be being rude, but that’s certainly not always the case.
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It might be that these HOs don’t check for messages very often. In which case, I’d probable move on because I like to know that, if an issue came up during the sit, I’d get a timely response.
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Yes there a million things going on in my life too. OK they’ve not been read, but two have been. I need to organise my life too!
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This type of situation has been discussed a thousand times on this forum. If you want to read the many different scenarios as of why a HO does this, you can search the topic using the spyglass up top.
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Thank you for this view @Rhe
I really appreciated reading your response and some others on other threads that are similar . Yes, @peonie19 - this is a theme all through the forum. @Amanda56 - use the search spy glass for those threads for different perspectives.
I’m now taking the opportunity here to share my thoughts and experience; and maybe it’s my experience alone.
I agree with @Rhe that it isn’t necessarily “rude” when a HO isn’t meeting a sitter’s hoped for response time, or THS recommended response time. I think we need to take a step back sometimes- people have stuff going in life.
Yes. It’s ideal to get back promptly.
Yes. It’s better etiquette to always acknowledge an inquiry.
Yes. Sitters and HOs alike are trying to plan schedules and timing etc.
Yes. Everyone like to be acknowledged.
But NO, it isn’t necessarily “rude” or all about you or being ignored.
Disclaimer before I get piled on here as I’m not interested in debating my experience: Such generalizations about HOs being called rude for not responding admittedly get me a little cross and is a sore spot.
Yes, I know, many of the sitters here in the forum have had ++annoying experiences with homeowners, who maybe did not respond in a prompt manner, or at all in some circumstances. They are bugged by it, annoyed, or even some cases seemingly offended by a person they have never met. I have read these themes over and over through the threads on the forum.
My experience:
I had a listing with many months notice.
I was a new HO, and it was a second sit listing. Within 12 hours of posting, we had an urgent family matter arise. A family member was dying at home, in another community 2 hours away; other family needed help in order to keep the dying family member at home for end of life care.
My THS listing, and any responses to inquiries was most certainly not a priority.
No, I didn’t “just put it on hold”or unpost the dates… in a perfect world - would have. I had other things happening and didn’t prioritize online presence or email or think about sit 4 months away. I did not “check” that sitters were “waiting” on a response.
Nor did I care that I may have “missed out” on a sitter, by not getting back to inquiries within 48 hours. If I had remembered, sure…I would have put the listing on hold. I was busy. My family was busy. When writing my family member’s obituary, <3 days later, I finally took time to answer emails, check messages, respond to people, and put the darned listing on hold etc, as I realized I hadn’t. I opened my messages only to find more than one thinly veiled chastisement from not one, but two sitter couples in the lot of 4 who had ‘applied’ but who took time to advise me “that they’d chosen to move on given my “lack of response”. I won’t get farther into the weeds but that’s the gist.
As far as I’m concerned- that lack of patience (that they hadn’t had a response in 72 hours) and clear lack of insight that they felt obligated to write any of that to me not knowing anything of our circumstance- was a giant red flag.
Just withdraw app, and look for a sit that suits. Ie “Thanks for reading my application; I have accepted another sit that conflicts so I will need to withdraw” etc
percent respect serial sitters need to make choices and decisions because of their own lives and planning complexity and travel timing. We ALL have busy lives.
Calling people we don’t know rude, or being frustrated in the setting of an absence of interaction suggests a need for all of us to pause- reflect or move on.
Ultimately, each of us must do what works for ourselves- but life happens, and there may be context not known about.
I completely agree it is best practice to always acknowledge a person who applies, and we should always strive to be engaged, and polite. However, if you don’t hear back from an HO and you need to make your own life plans- just move on. Dont make assumptions. I’m putting this out there in the universe: please cease auto-accusing HOs of “being rude” because they have been initially unresponsive or quiet. Sure. Maybe they ARE being actually being a ‘butt head’ and are bad at responding for no good reason- but you don’t KNOW that. There very well may be a reason-they could be spending a final few days with a loved one or writing an obituary. One example only, but I can imagine others.
*bekind *karma
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No. It isn’t always rude.
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Well I didn’t read all of your essay, and I don’t want to debate it either. I would never dream of chastising an HO for not coming back to me sooner (Why? because I’m a polite and kind person) or being rude to them. However I am allowed to express my views on here without being admonished.
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Thanks. Will do in future.
As am I. Sorry you found my reasoning too long. Best wishes on your future sits- I’m sure you’ll find what you are looking for.
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I feel for you. When we first joined THS in 2021, this was the single most frustrating part for me!
Things actually got a bit better with the 5 application limit (perhaps the only positive thing that came out of the new rule, 
), but there are still owners who do not respond in a timely manner.
I do not withdraw our applications unless we get another Sit with overlapping dates. I am always curious to see what happens; how long will it be until I hear from the owner? Many times, I never hear from the owner, all the way up to the dates of their sit!
Just move on and apply to other sits. Eventually you will find good matches!
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I’ve already secured some great sits. I was merely expressing an opinion.
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Sorry. I meant that you will find good matches for the dates that you want to fill with sits.
I did not mean to imply that you have not found any matches.
I apologize if my message came across as judgmental. I was trying to be supportive! 
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Honestly? I think you’re overthinking this. Don’t worry about it. Life’s too short!
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They weren’t ignored.
You simply were not chosen or the HO’s are reviewing applications (It will say so on your end if that is the case).
This is the way that it usually goes …unfortunately. Good luck on future applications !
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My take on it is that it doesn’t matter what their circumstances are, to ignore communications which affect someone else’s plans is rude, by definition. I wouldn’t want to sit for someone who didn’t get back to me within a reasonable time-frame, whether they ran a huge orphanage single-handedly or just played tiddlywinks once a month..
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I find that hosts who reply promptly also tend to supply welcome guides promptly and to write reviews promptly. Probably because people who’ve got things together are consistent that way. Given that, I don’t bother with hosts who are slow to reply, whatever their reason might be.
I withdraw within 48 hours if hosts don’t reply to schedule a video chat. (A number of experienced sitters do likewise.)
I don’t bother with messaging the hosts further in that case. Yet I often hear back from them when I withdraw, saying they’re disappointed (sometimes saying I would be perfect for their sit), but I’ve moved on at that point.
To me, successful sits require good partners and I value prompt communicators. No need to settle for less. I can be selective. Fortunately, have had overwhelmingly great sits.
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I think we all view this issue through our own lens. Clearly some think it’s rude to not respond promptly and others don’t. Personally, I was raised that manners and politeness are really important. As a kid I was expected to respond to people promptly and politely, send thank you notes for gifts, etc. In my decades of work, there has always been an expectation that I respond to phone calls or emails in a timely manner. Since I currently work online, I get lots of emails daily, I block out time in my daily schedule to deal with emails since most people have an expectation of a response within 24-48 hours.
So, from my perspective, not responding promptly is rude and I obviously wouldn’t want to partner with that person for a sit.
Of course having a death in the family or some other family emergency is a good reason for not getting back to someone. But, there are large number of hosts who either don’t ever respond, or respond weeks later, or send an auto-decline with no message. I don’t think most of them are in the midst of an emergency or crisis of some type.
I typically don’t withdraw my applications, I let them sit, just out of curiosity. There are hosts who post listings and never choose a sitter, either they cancelled their trip or made other arrangements and didn’t bother to remove the listing or respond to the applicants. I think most of us would consider that to be rude.
I’ve been contacted within 48 hours for about 95% of the sits I’ve actually done (50+). I’ve had some confirmed within hours of my application - including having a virtual chat. So, if I don’t have a response within 48 hours, I move on.
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I have had an application read and unanswered for a week and I have just received an automated message of change of dates, asking if I still was interested, I pressed “no” and I was invited to drop a line. I always do before withdrawing but not in this case. Why should I explain that I am not interested in the new dates? And that after a week of silence!
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