Owners who fail to continue the conversation

I noticed that there have been active conversations about hosts who do not read applications or decline an application. However, my question is about hosts who read your application, tell you how great you sound and then ask to set up a phone or video call. You immediately get back to them with dates and times, and that is where the conversation abruptly ends.

This scenario has unfortunately happened to me more than a couple of times in recent months.

How can or should situations like this be addressed? Do sitters have any recourse?

Admin AL: Post Moderated Author Direct Messaged.

That has not happened to us but if it did and they didn’t respond within 2-3 days (depending on how much of a hurry I am in), I would send a message to nudge them and let them know I’d be rescinding my application on “whatever day” if I hadn’t heard back so I could be free to pursue other sits.

Have they read your reply?

Not sure what you mean by “recourse”. Your main recourse is to rescind your application and let them know why.


In most cases, yes, they have read the reply and in a couple of cases, the reply went unread, even if urgency had been expressed because the sit was to start in a week or less.

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Then I’d definitely send a message saying I need to hear from them or I will rescind my application the next day (or whatever time frame you want.)

For me, it really depends on how much I want the sit and how desirable a sit is over all, and how many other people have applied, and how urgent I need to book something. I am sometimes willing to wait weeks (and have) and other times, I wouldn’t wait more than a few days.


Does this mzan you apply for other sits ? What wiuld make you prefer A than B then? The duration of the sit? The location? The pets?

Ghosting is definitely unusual, at least here in Europe. We would send the HO another message, wait 1-2 days and then move on. Other sitters apply to multiple sits at the same time, though, and seem to have more of a “first come, first served” policy. That might be an option for you, if it’s getting frustrating for you to wait and then never hear again from the HO. We only apply to one sit at a time, but expect the HO to come back to us, schedule a meeting and confirm the sit within a few days (otherwise we usually withdraw our application). We have only had bad experiences with people who let us wait for long or don’t come back to us in a timely manner, so we also decline later invitations from those HOs.

Thanks for sharing your approach, @Timmy. However, I think ghosting is more common than you think. The reason I posed the question to the community is because it happened often enough for me to wonder if my experiences were in isolation, or if there was a larger issue.

The situations where I simply don’t get a response to an application are a lot less irksome than those where there has been a friendly exchange, the HO expresses a desire to connect and then goes silent. It’s the latter that has me stumped.

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Hi @Candide, yes, I do apply for multiple sits. However, I only apply for sits that truly appeal to me, so I still end up satisfied if I have to pick and choose.

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@Nomadexec, like you, I have applied for sits that have never been acknowledged by the HO. I’ve also received invitations with no message included. I think this is because the HO are not aware of THS “etiquette,” either because they are new or because they don’t read the forum to know how these things are perceived by sitters.

As for invitations that come without messages, I have replied with a message and hit the “decline” button (thank you for your input about this @sledgejoyce) and in each case they have written a sweet reply. With some of them, I have explained how the system works and they’ve appreciated the information.

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We sometimes apply for more than one sit at a time, but normally wait a few days between.

The main thing that makes me choose sit A to sit B is location. We are always looking for very specific types of sits. Small village if possible, walking distance to amenities, comfortable looking home inside, some outdoor space/patio.

Duration is important too. Our sweet spot is 1-2 weeks.

Preferably no more than 2 dogs but we’re very comfortable and happy with almost any animal so we are very flexible about pets.

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Sounds like our house could be the perfect match for you :joy:
Even if it’s not a village but a small town, there are two parks and all necessary shops in walking distance. Our neighbors have two dogs and would probably be happy if someone else wanted to do some walks with them.


I am interested in visiting that area some day. In my genealogy research, I found a family line that was born in Darmstadt, in 1711. They came to the US in 1736 so my connection is awhile back. :joy: Also some near Stuttgart.


and we are just a 10-15 minutes drive away from Darmstadt :laughing:


Yeah, it seems to me you were fairly close.


Just move on. As a salesman; one thing I ALWAYS told my staff–it is the yesses that matter. Move on to the next application knowing you were considered. Maybe they had so many applications, they simply were done with the process. I’ve had people string me along for a month, only to choose someone else. It’s all a part of the process. They didn’t mean me any harm. They were simply looking for their best perceived fit for them.

I’ve had many sits now. All 5 stars on my end, but owners who fail to live up to their end of the bargain don’t leave a review at all. One left a 4 star and her sit was the most work. She was embarrassed and only left 4 stars after telling me how great I was and her neighborhood telling her how amazing I was. Yet her review words were stellar. The best yet. Duplicitous. People can see through some things.

So you see. It’s not personal. Just keep finding the GOoD ones, and TRUST me; they far exceed the bad. Plus; you don’t want to sit where someone is not confident in your ability to do the task. That’s important. I wish you the best. Trusted Housesitters really is a dream come true for me. Retirement made beautiful!!


Damstadt is a wonderful place. I’d love it get back to Deutschland! Dream for a Spring and summer sit.


INDEED. It is ALWAYS BETTER if we help each other navigate the THS waters. The administrators are in short supply and.it could take days for a response. Sometimes people don’t know how to leave pictures, or read their THS handbook. It doesn’t come in every language so if you know what it says and can speak another language oft times it helps.

I had a woman who spoke Spanish primarily and only understood a scant amount of English. I spent time and took her through her ENTIRE steps. Her listing looked much better and she understood more. AGAIN, helping one another is keen. Ultimately, we all want the same thing.