Chat with others much? Does that reflect your culture?
I’m a product of two cultures, both chatty.
Whether I chat depends on my mood, but I’d feel comfortable chatting with most people if I felt like it. And when I’ve visited Australia, the U.K. and other places not necessarily known for chatting, I’ve encountered chatty people. Maybe it’s just getting the energy back that you put out?
A few days ago, I chatted with a deli guy who was making me a sandwich. He asked whether I was visiting (it was a resort area and I replied that I was sitting). He then said he’d recently heard about Trusted Housesitters from a customer. And he looked outside and said, oh, that customer who’s just pulled up in his car is the guy who told me about it.
So nice chat, I get my order and leave. (That THS host was still parking, so I didn’t meet him.)
A few days later, I go back for another tasty sandwich. The deli guy remembers me and says, hey, that customer I mentioned who used Trusted Housesitters asked me to get your info if you came back, because maybe you could sit for them, too. And from what I know, they must live nice.
So chatting might lead to my sitting for someone randomly.
Aussie’s aren’t chatty with strangers? I have never been but my impression is that they are very friendly and open much as Americans are. Is this incorrect?
In London, yes. Get yourself to the North East of England, we are known for being incredibly friendly. I’m quite introverted, but I still talk to every dog walker, and anyone sitting next to me in a cafe or beer garden, it’s in our breeding
I’ve sat several times in the U.K. and found people chatty, even in London and close in. And I had done startup advising in London and was pleasantly surprised by how welcoming and friendly folks were.
I used to live there and didn’t find people unfriendly, though some people said it was hard to make friends.
Some folks blamed Swedish culture, because they supposedly tended to keep more to themselves and a fair number had settled there over generations. (I have not had direct experience with such, so can’t say whether that’s true or not. And when I visited Sweden as a tourist, I didn’t experience coldness or standoffish-ness.)
I have since sat in Seattle (in the city) and have encountered lots of friendly folks. I was walking or exploring with my sit dogs, though. I find that no matter where I’ve sat, having a dog to walk makes people friendly.
When my kids were growing up, we often hosted exchange students. A few of the Scandinavian students said it was quite an adjustment when they returned home and had to stop smiling at or chatting up strangers
Yeah, the “Freeze” is not about encountering coldness/unfriendliness AT ALL. It’s quite a friendly place, and definitely polite. That said, they do not do “banter” the way Americans on the east coast (particularly) do.
My daughter lives in the Seattle area and she and her husband have had a terrible time making friends. They’re from Conn. and Pennsylvania, respectively. But one day on the ferry my daughter, who never meets a stranger, finally found an equally chatty passenger, and they’ve become fast friends! Since meeting, they’ve gone kayaking together and had each other over for meals and meet for drinks or dinner. So, one other chatty person in the seven years since she’s lived there! My in-laws, including my daughter’s five first cousins and their spouses, all live in Seattle and are as cold as ice. Every one of them. When my husband came to the Northeast, he felt at home for the first time in his life!
I once spent a year in North Carolina, and when I came home back to Santa Cruz I was actually peeved at the lack of cordiality by people on the streets. I was so used to responding “hey!” at most passersbyers and being bombarded by their general solicitousness that the average person on the street back home seemed cold and indifferent in comparison. I chalked it up to the small town sense of inter reliance and accountability. Then there was the time back in the ‘90s in Hawaii, when I honked at a local stopped dead smack In the road chatting with a bra, and OMG I thought he was gonna squash me (“we don’t honk here!”)!
Since then I’ve found people In Sta. Cruz to be fine, but I haven’t been back to the south, either.
I’ve lived on both coasts, as well as the Southwest and the South, when it comes to the U.S. Overall, the folks in the South were most chatty, but of course that can vary by personal experience.
Americans in general are chatty, with small town folks being exceptionally so, judging from my having visited 40-something states, especially over lots of road tripping.
I’m chatty when the mood strikes, but compared to some folks, not so much. I have a sibling and friends (the latter who work/worked in news) who are naturally magical at connecting with strangers, domestically or abroad.
My outgoing sibling for instance had someone chase them down at an airport (I was picking up) to invite them over to their house for dinner, after having chatted on a plane ride. Another time, they got invited to an Indian wedding in India. I was so jealous when I heard that, because I would love that.
My mom once invited a lady to stay at our house for days after meeting on a plane, because a typhoon had delayed the woman from her final leg home to the Philippines. And the lady accepted and we ended up showing her all around town. I remember that from childhood and not having realized that adults could do stuff like that.
Thanks @Maggie8K , such an interesting article. I agree as an Aussie sometimes I do find the American way a little over the top. But I have to say after travelling full time with my husband for 15 months I too was looking for strangers to chat to . We actually had fabulous discussions on trains, in the street, in restaurants with strangers. Sometimes resulting in meals together or sightseeing. Had a lovely chat with an Iranian waitress last night when I enquired about her accent. I love to listen to other conversations too, so frustrating when a bit of an argument broke out on a Portuguese bus and I couldn’t understand a word.
We ended up visiting Ground Zero the week after 9/11, while on a previously planned vacation.
We hadn’t planned to see the site, thinking it potentially disrespectful to gawk. But local strangers we chatted with at a shared table over Chinese food convinced us otherwise. They said we should witness history, so we went.
Rescue operations were ongoing and fires still smoldered, so you could smell them. It seemed eerie and dystopian, walking through blocks of NYC that had been blacked out and evacuated. Buildings and cars were covered in ash and countless posters were up, looking for missing loved ones.
When we finally reached Ground Zero, everything was lit up for the recovery operations, so bright and surreal, it seemed like a movie set. There were crowds of onlookers on sidewalks, but everyone was respectful and deathly quiet.
Fortunately, it was back in the day, before people taking selfies and such with cell phones. (I had a flip phone at the time, with a rudimentary camera, and never even turned it on, keeping it only for possible emergencies.)
. We actually had fabulous discussions on trains, in the street, in restaurants with strangers. Sometimes resulting in meals together or sightseeing. Had a lovely chat with an Iranian waitress last night when I enquired about her accent. I love to listen to other conversations too, so frustrating when a bit of an argument broke out on a Portuguese bus and I couldn’t understand a word
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