Best Practices for Receiving Mail and Deliveries on a Sit

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
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Though a slightly similar topic was posted on the Forum before, it was limited to US-based mail only and had limited responses. In light of a very lively discussion related to sitters receiving financial mail on sits in another thread, I offered to start a standalone thread about “Best Practices for Receiving Mail and Deliveries while on a Sit”.
I’ll outline what has worked for me and would love to hear thoughts and feedback from other perspectives.

I have one home base in the United States and another in Europe. In the US I receive all of my paper mail at a post office box, using a service called “informed delivery”. That means I see a “picture” in my email of all of the mail coming to the PO Box so I know if anything is important.

Once a month, a friend empties out the PO Box, tosses any junk mail, and sends the important items to me via overnight delivery, wherever I am in the world. If something essential arrives, like a new credit card or a check, my friend will retrieve the mail more quickly. That means that yes, I sometimes receive mail at a sit. It has never occurred to me that a homeowner would have a problem with that. Based on the other thread related to this topic, it seems that in some areas of the world it is considered “not done” to receive mail at anyone’s house but your own. This fascinates me as I have no idea how else I might receive my mail and I cannot imagine why a homeowner would object to me receiving an overnight envelope with my own personal mail in it.

For packages and online purchases, if I am in a city I have them delivered to a “locker”, like an Amazon locker. This is really fun and I’ve discovered all kinds of cool convenience stores in other cities thanks to this. It makes me feel like a super spy, waving my magic code over the door and having it pop open with treasures inside!

If I am not in a city, I have online purchases delivered to the sit. I’m always super careful with the timing to ensure the item will arrive before I depart. I am mindful of the fact that inevitably - inevitably - my name will end up on some kind of mailing list associated with that address and perhaps months later the homeowners will receive a catalog or something as a result. In the bigger picture of things, though, this seems quite harmless. I suppose I could use a fake name, so the homeowners won’t associate the junk mail with me, but that feels kind of - icky. Receiving deliveries is such a regular part of everyday life now that it never occurred to me that a homeowner might object to it until I learned in that other thread that some people feel this is equivalent to criminal behavior!

Europe is much easier. My neighbor retrieves my paper mail, which is almost nonexistent. Europe is much better about “junk mail” than the US, and almost every necessary activity can be done electronically, with no paper trail whatsoever. If I ever did get urgent paper mail at my European address, my neighbor would send it to me via DHL, but that has never happened.

So how about you, other homeowners and sitters out there?

If you’re a sitter, have you ever received packages, mail, or other deliveries (like food) at a sit? If so, did you ask permission of the homeowner first? Every time or just the first time? If you think it is unacceptable to receive deliveries at a sit, how do you get your important mail when you’re traveling around the world?

If you’re a homeowner, how would you feel if a sitter asked permission to receive a delivery? Does it matter what kind of delivery? For example, is paper mail forwarded from a friend an absolute no-no but a DoorDash pizza delivery is fine? Why or why not? And what if they didn’t ask permission - if they just assumed it is normal, and got a delivery at the house, and never mentioned it, and you found out when you saw a receipt from DoorDash in the trash or an empty Amazon box in the recycling. Would you be aghast that the sitter had dared to receive a delivery, or would you think it was just - normal?

As always, looking forward to hearing the wisdom of the community!

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Fraud by sitter
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About 10 years ago, I made the conscious decision to go paperless. All my official correspondence is now sent to an electronic mailbox, and I no longer receive any (non-existent) paper mail, which, quite honestly, makes life wonderfully clutter-free.

For any deliveries, I use a pickup box or locker. On rare occasions, deliveries are sent to my current location, whether that is a sit, a hotel, or wherever my travels take me.

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All of my hosts know from the outset that I live on grocery and meal deliveries — it’s mentioned in my profile and in my applications, because I also specify that I need fridge and freezer space. No one has batted an eye about that.

I don’t usually have stuff sent to me on sits, but I’d have no hesitation about receiving typical deliveries, like from Amazon, if I needed something.

I would never dream of using the hosts’ addresses for stuff like financial applications or docs, legal docs and such, because I know issuers and gov’t agencies in the U.S. want your actual residential address, not somewhere you’re staying temporarily.

In the U.S., you often can’t even get an issuer to send you a credit card if you lack a permanent home address. Like if I lost or had a credit card stolen while traveling, I’d expect the bank to balk at sending the replacement to me anywhere but my normal home address. That’s because issuers usually look for potential fraud in credit cards sent to unfamiliar addresses.

In the U.S., when you submit a credit card application, you’re expected to use your own permanent address. Banks require it and, even after a card is issued, they frequently do checks on whether the address is still accurate. That’s part of fraud prevention.

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Although I’m home now, while full time sitting I would have Amazon deliveries and prescribed medication delivered to the address where I was sitting. I would always ask the owners first.

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I think this is one of those thing that THS should have “rules” for to help prevent misunderstandings as I’ve seen forum threads where hosts have been spooked by packages arriving for sitters after a sit.

To me, grocery deliveries, and restaurant deliveries would be normal. As my building recently got a new intercom system, as a host, I make sure that sitters either have access to let delivery people enter the buiding. This is to be expected and homeowners should be aware of this possibilities and discuss any restrictions with sitters.

The sits I host are short – generally 4-10 days give or take. If someone was going to get an Amazon delivery or online pharmacy delivery or similar, I’d prefer they set the address as their name with a C/O with my name just to prevent any misunderstanding. I would also want sitters as a courtesy to let me know if they are getting a delivery throug UPS or FedEx at my address. There are practical reasons for this such as delivery going to a wrong building and taking a while to find its way to my building, someone accidentally getting a subscription, something arriving late, etc.

I could definately see a homeowner feeling super creeped out to find mail for a sitter or packages in the sitter’s name delivered after they arrive home.

As a sitter, we go on short sits and I can’t imagine anything other than food or emergency medication being delivered on a sit.

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This, of course, is a must for both parties’ sake

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I agree! It wasn’t until all of these dramas about mail popped up on the Forum that I realized there were so many different and strong opinions on the matter. I typically do longer sits, like three weeks or more, and without deliveries I don’t know how I could manage.

If I were a homeowner and a sitter asked permission to get a delivery, I would have thought they were immature or weird. Until I read this Forum. Now I understand that these are just different perspectives; no one is right, no one is wrong. Just different. Having expectations in writing from THS would help eliminate misunderstandings. Ping @Jenny

Interestingly, it would creep my out to get my pharmaceuticals at the homeowner’s address, even though I get deliveries there for just about everything else. (Rest assured my medications are boring - just maintenance meds for normal things, no fun drugs!) I have my prescriptions transferred to a local pharmacy and pick those up in a drive through. That has caused problems because often the automatic refill goes to that same pharmacy and I’m not there any more, so I’ve learned to set myself an 80-day reminder to get them transferred (again) before refill time.

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I’m an Australian THS sitter & owner. I’m paperless at home so my personal mail is not an issue. Whenever I’m on a sit here or overseas I have groceries delivered to the sit and have had Amazon packages delivered too and a replacement mobile phone. I’ve never asked the owner’s permission first. Why would I? It’s an everyday normal activity in this day and age. Plenty of owners have had packages delivered that I’ve had to accept. No big deal.

My past sitters who have both been several months have had mail and deliveries go to my address without asking my permission first. No drama, I don’t care, there’s no risk to me, I’m not threatened by it and don’tthink anything suspicious or fraudulent is going on. Any post sit mail that turns up for them, I return to sender “no longer at this address” without even mentioning it to the sitters. It’s the sitter’s responsibility to manage their mail, not mine.

That previous thread you mentioned is a complete storm in a teacup with huge over reactions by the OP and some members. If only someone else’s mail coming to my address was my biggest concern… Take a breath people!

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From an HO standpoint I wouldn’t mind a sitter receiving “forwarded” mail. I think where people have issue (as I would) is if a sitter applied for a credit card and put down our address as their address. I think the issue is important documents specifying our address, not important documents (with a different address) delivered to our address.

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I feel like a lot of examples got rolled up together, with people trying to espouse a single “right answer” for all these different scenarios & potential scenarios — then people started getting salty (being tactful there), and it finally just got a bit unpleasant and not very productive.

All that to say: I’m glad you started a different thread to discuss, because I’ve also been curious and a bit weirded out when I’ve seen “no mail/packages” stated on HO listings.

Unlike you, I don’t need to receive personal mail on a sit — usually. If I ran out of meds, though, or had to replace a lost credit card, my husband would need to do something similar to your friend…fedex a package to me.

In another case, I used a bunch of a Host’s Nespresso pods (they’d offered them), but it was enough of them that I felt it would be only polite to replace them. The only retailer who carried that brand & flavor was Online, so I ordered them for next-day delivery, “c/o” the homeowner’s name, with instructions that it be left at the reception desk for me to pick up. No problem.

I guess otherwise, because it seems to be a topic with varying opinions, I‘m just going to start adding these questions to my interviews, as MY “Best Practice:”

  • Is it OK to receive Amazon/other timely deliveries if I find I need something? (Esp as it saves me having to leave ‘Fido’ alone to go shopping for moisturizer or hair gel)
  • Ok to receive food deliveries?
  • If yes, how can drivers access the building for deliveries?
  • If my husband needs to fedex me meds/a CC/important papers, is this OK as long as it’s sent “c/o” the homeowner’s name?

I feel like most HOs would be reasonable if you ask up-front about something that’s pretty mundane, like the above.

I do not think most HO’s would be OK with someone applying for credit or checking accounts using their address, & particularly without asking. Maybe that’s what happened in that other case & maybe it isn’t, & that’s not for me to say — but I wouldn’t be OK with it as a homeowner.

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I think the length of the sit matters. I’m on a three-month sit now, I wouldn’t expect to go three months without ordering food or needing to buy something online. I’ve ordered food a few times and I’ve had a couple amazon packages delivered. I address them to my name c/o the HOs name. I use a mail service and don’t really get much mail. But if something important came in my mail that couldn’t wait, I would need to have it forwarded here.

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I don’t think it’s a personal thing or meant to be unfriendly when homeowners have those kinds of restrictions. You don’t really know someone else’s reasons why unless you ask, and some things, people might feel they don’t need to justify. I think sitters have to try sometimes to put themselves in the shoes of homeowners. There may be some past experience, lease restrictions, and/or other reasons why.

I think if you see a rule like that – and you know you’ll need deliveries or it’s a longish sit and it’s likely you’ll be shopping on Amazon, it is absolutely worth it to have a tactful discussion with the host before accepting the sit, and if you see it after to figure it out. There is usually a compromise or plan B possible.

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Getting deliveries and applying for a credit card using a home owners address are two very different things.

It also appears to me, and I could be wrong, that opinions on having mail sent to a HO’s address varies according to which country is being discussed.

I don’t recall ever having mail sent to me at a sit but I certainly get deliveries. I have had deliveries sent to me in several European countries and many deliveries in the UK.

Mainly grocery deliveries but also things like my preferred organic brand of insect repellent, sun cream, hand cream (due to liquid allowance on flights). I did once have hot food delivered.

I have frequently mentioned grocery deliveries, when asking about freezer/fridge space and no one has ever batted an eyelid.

If I saw a stipulation that I couldn’t have deliveries sent to a house sit then I wouldn’t apply.

It never occurred to me to ask permission, it’s just such an ordinary everyday occurrence.

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100%, Marion.

While I may think the requirement is “odd,” I’d never say that to a HO. I just start by assuming there must be a reason of some kind behind it. It might be specific to a country’s laws/liabilities, might be a bad previous experience. But it’s never unreasonable to explain your need and ask. Either they’ll say “ok” or help work out an alternate solution, if they’re reasonable people & the request isn’t out of line.

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The voice of reason!

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We regularly get parcels delivered to the address of our sits (my new specs arrived this week). We never ask ‘permission’

As a side note, I’ve never ordered my specs off the internet before - too sceptical.

This time, I wanted Varifocals/laser lens/thinned lens and react to light. When the high street shop quoted £380 plus frame, I thought it was time to try it out.

I put the same order on the internet and the quote was £60 all in, including their £5 delivery charge.

They arrived ( at our current house sit) 10 days after I placed the order - a saving of at least £320!

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@Colin you just reminded me that’s another thing that I have had delivered when on a sit. :glasses:

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Actually, to clarify, I only ask permission if something will arrive ahead of me, which is rare and I will always put my name and c/o the address.

Did you finally get to Specsavers then? :winking_face_with_tongue:

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Most HO wouldn’t mind sitters having deliveries from. Amazon etc, why would they? Perfectly OK, thats not what the other post was about, but a person from overseas, a temporary visitor, stating on an official document that they lived at your house, when they had left 10 days ago, is a whole different kettle of fish, and not OK.

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When sitting in the US, I have had deliveries from Amazon. I have also occasionally had mail forwarded from my PO box like a new credit card.

In these instances I have never thought to ask if the host minded. It is simply an address where a package is to be sent, and in no way registers me as an official resident of that home.

Of course the other thread was a whole different scenario–they were claiming this address was where they actually lived to get a credit card.

There were a couple of times that I wanted to have something sent to my next sit before I arrived because I wasn’t sure if it would get to my current location in time. In these cases, I asked the host ahead of time if I could have something forwarded from my mail service and they were fine with it.

I am not sure how things work in other countries, but at least in the US, if a sitter thinks they may need to get important mail delivered on a longer-term sit especially, that would come through the USPS, they should double check with the host whether they will be putting their mail on hold. In all my years sitting, this has probably happened less than a handful of times, but it would be good to confirm.

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