I agree. If you’re not comfortable, try again with THS. Different agents say different things. Perhaps a moderator can help you with that.
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You are within your rights to cancel the sit since the HO has changed the dates and you cannot accomodate those new dates. It may be her preference to keep you (as she probably doesn’t want the hassle of re-listing) but you do not have to agree. As @CreatureCuddler experienced you won’t know how the previous person leaves the place or if they will be able to provide all the necessary handover info the HO would.
We’ve done 3 split sits (i.e taking over, or passing on, to other sitters) the first two went perfectly well but the third was not a good experience. The previous sitter (2 weeks there) did no cleaning at all (e g dirty toilet & hair in the shower!!)and also said that’s how he found it! We did not believe him and reported to the HO how we found their home. They obviously took offence as they gave him (who they’d met in person) a much better review than us- despite us leaving the place so much cleaner than we found it!! Never again! Split sits are a risk.
If you know you can easily make alternative plans and still wish to cancel (but the HO won’t) then just explain the situation & your wishes to THS and they will cancel for you.
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Yes, the only way I’d do a split sit again is if I was the first person. And even then I’d do a full video walk-through before hand-off to the next sitter so they couldn’t blame anything on me. But it would have to just be the most amazing sit on the planet for me to even consider it.
@CreatureCuddler The one split sit we did where we had other sitters take over from us we did exactly that- not video but lots of photos showing how we left the home. We sent them to the HO immediately after we’d handed over to the new sitters.
We all got, and gave, great reviews.
I did contact them. She said her daughter was taking care of them. But I don’t know the state the home will be in without an HO handoff.
I get that you contacted them. But I would still push back on you not feeling comfortable with the sit now that your agreement has changed and you will be taking over from a 3rd party rather than the HO and, as such, would be responsible for any problems they create in the HOs absence. Doesn’t matter if it’s her daughter or a dude of the street, it’s still a 3rd party.
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Don’t do the sit if you don’t feel comfortable. The HO can’t make you, she’s changed the sit you accepted and confirmed. Go back to MS and ask them to cancel it if you feel cornered. Split sits are risky at the best of times. #standyourground
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If it were me I would probably do it. In my many years of housesitting, I have found most situations work out fine and I wouldn’t be overly concerned something would go wrong. Though anything can happen of course.
Earlier this summer we had a similar situation. We applied to a sit where we would be unavailable for the first night–normally I don’t apply for sits where I can’t do the exact dates but it worked really well for our schedule and had a nudge to send a message-- and the host had her friend stay over with the dog until we arrived the next day. The dog was fine, the house was fine…no problems.
But the concerns that make you not want to do it are perfectly reasonable and cancelling would be understandable. Like you said, not doing the sit would not really pose a problem for you, so if you are feeling truly uncomfortable about the arrangement, that sounds like it might be the way to go for you.
But if you decide to go through with it anyway because you feel badly cancelling on her, you want to avoid an uncomfortable conversation, you worry it could cause issues with THS, or whatever else, just own the choice–we often find ourselves doing things we don’t fully feel comfortable doing for one reason or another, and the situation is easier to deal with when we do that.
Keep us posted…
they won’t cancel it. The HO has to and I have given every opportunity to cancel and she won’t. I will just do it.
Totally your call. They WILL cancel it if you demonstrate the boundaries of the sit has changed to what you signed up for. Either you insist or do it & as @KC1102 said, might all be fine. Best of luck and keep us posted! #fingerscrossed
Sounds like you think you’re stuck with doing the sit.
For a number of other sitters, we see our own agency. Like from my POV: No one — whether host or THS — can ever force me to do a sit. And I’d expect THS to either back me and cancel the sit or to not do anything to me if I didn’t do the sit under such circumstances.
Is there a risk that THS will cancel my membership if so, shrug, probably a super small one. And even if that were the case, why would I stick with a company that I have to pay to help hosts exploit or take advantage of me or make my life unpleasant.
Sometimes you have to push or fight for yourself, because no one else will necessarily do it for you. And if you don’t, you risk being one of those folks who repeatedly is taken advantage of. That’s because there are people out in the world who are looking for folks to take advantage of or they simply don’t care if they make your life unpleasant, as long as it serves them. (Those kind of people thrive off enablers, people-pleasers and folks with martyr complex.)
Ultimately, you have a choice. We all do.
@KC1102 has a point, too. But she’s also consciously making choices, presumably not feeling like a victim.
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@Huronbase You speak as if you have no power at all! Ofcourse you don’t have to do the sit if it no longer fits for you when the HO has changed the dates!! I.e they have changed important criteria (in this case the sit dates) that you originally confirmed!
Several of us have already explained that you only have to contact THS and explain your situation and request them to cancel it for you! They will do that!
However if you choose to proceed regardless you need to take responsibility for that decision and accept any consequences this may entail.
And ultimately it might be absolutely OK!
But don’t make yourself small by feeling you have no agency in this matter. It is your precious lifetime!
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THS said I had to talk to the HO and the HO had to cancel. They would not cancel for me.
@Huronbase If you tell the HO you won’t be coming , they will have to cancel and re-list .
Put it in writing on the THS inbox conversation with the HO “ I am not comfortable with the change of arrangements due to you changing your holiday dates since the sit was confirmed which means that you will not be there to do a handover. I will not be doing the sit .”
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Is it because her daughter is going to be there, no, I just decided I don’t want to do the sit anymore. That is the problem. And with the change of dates, I thought she would cancel me, but she didn’t. She brought in her daughter for 2 days ahead of my arrival. Could I tell her, she changed the parameters of the sit and I want her to cancel me, yes, but I feel like a schmuck. I just don’t want the sit anymore, I booked it long time ago when I first went nomadic, and was desperate. Now, really don’t want it. Hence, the need to suck it up. Instead of acting irresponsibly and taking advantage, I believe, when I could just do the sit.
If you had just sucked it up, you would’ve gotten on with the sit and none of us would be discussing it.
Instead, you’ve posted about multiple compromise sits you’ve done. And when folks have suggested alternatives, you revert to some version of, well, the sit was worthwhile to me anyway.
If that’s your approach, even if you take a passive path, you’re making choices. And if so, then seems like you’d need to lower your expectations and deal with the consequences.
So quite different from how you presented this initially.
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I know. The facts are the same. The dates were changed, I couldn’t accomodate, so her daughter is now covering the early days. Those are all true. And I am uncomfortable with that. And I don’t want to do the sit anymore. But I will. It is only a few weeks away. I feel it is bad form to cancel.
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From your ultimate wisdom, perhaps I can learn to do it better. Though I don’t want to be as negative.
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I thought this was a safe forum to talk about our experiences. And get advice. I am learning how to deal with being nomadic, taking sits to make sure the holes in the calendar get filled up. And the changes that can occur. Like when Helene came through Asheville and my plans to go west after the sit were affected by I40 being out for months. Or had my first sit cancel. Learning to figure out arrival and departure times, asking questions that I didn’t ask before I confirmed early on. That is what is forum is about, right, working out the kinks of being a sitter, outloud-- or at least on paper. I appreciate the feedback. All of it. Snarky or not.
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