HI @RachelTG, I am a member of the community, as a cis woman with a cis female partner, my lived experience is obviously different than yours, but I hope I can help to alleviate some of your concerns, especially when it comes to the UK. The type of violence so prevalent in the US isn’t so blatant in western Europe and the UK. That’s not to say there isn’t any discrimination or anything, but it’s less obvious and much less extreme.
My partner and I, who have been together for 16 years, have never faced issues in the UK, and when we are there, we spend most of our time in small towns and villages. The Calder Valley in Yorkshire is my favourite place, there is a small town there called Hebden Bridge that you might really like, it’s a beautiful little place with a few nice pubs and great walks, and it’s very LGBTQ friendly.
For bigger towns, Manchester is a brilliant city with a great scene, if you go to Manchester you have to check out Canal St, it is a thriving area full of life, very open minded, very fun. As @Pips mentioned, Brighton also has a large community.
Spain is one of the most accepting countries in the world, maybe less so in the smaller communities, we have never had an issue, however I travel alone quite a bit and can easily be mistaken for a straight woman so take that with a grain of salt. Barcelona and Madrid are some of the most LGBTQ friendly cities in the world. The Canary Islands are also very openminded and LGBTQ friendly, apparently Gran Canaria is somewhat of a hotspot. I haven’t been there, but I have spent quite a bit of time in Tenerife, which seems to be quite openminded and accepting, so that may be a good spot for you to test out as well. Bonus points for Tenerife too as it’s really beautiful and has great weather all year round!
I 100% understand your nervousness and hesitancy but I hope that you will be able to really enjoy your adventures, the same way anyone should be able to. All the best!