Brand new premium member here. Last week, after a nice video chat, I confirmed my very first sitter. During our conversation, asked if her boyfriend and son could visit. I said I wanted to think about it, which I did for a couple of days. Tonight, I messaged her to say I’d prefer no guests in my apartment, but that my high rise has plenty of nice spaces to gather and that she’s welcome to host her people there. (I’m so new to THS that I haven’t yet completed the Welcome Guide which, when written, will explicitly say “no guests.”) She said other HO have allowed visitors with no problem and asked me to cancel our arrangement. I have two questions: Since she chose to cancel, shouldn’t she be the one to actually cancel the sit on the app, or does it not make a difference who actually pushes the button to “cancel.” I don’t want some sort of HO “ding” before I’ve even begun. And is my “no guests” preference unreasonable? I looked at several of the forum posts before writing this and I think my preference is both reasonable and common.
I’m confused about your post. She can’t have guests in the apartment but they can gather in your high rise…
When she asked if they could visit, did she mean if they could stay?
Whichever situation I think you have dodged a bullet.
Going forward, as you say you will put in your WG, I suggest you also put in your listing ‘no overnight guests’ or ‘no guests’.
She can’t cancel, it has to come from you. Hopefully you have enough time before your holiday to find another sitter.
Only HOs can cancel a sit once it has been confirmed so you will need to do that asap otherwise the sitter can’t apply for other sits on those dates. It will have no effect whatsoever on your status, and future sitters will not know about the cancellation.
I think it would have been more appropriate for the sitter to mention the boyfriend and the son in her initial written application which you could then have considered and responded to. I’d find it irritating to have it sprung on me in a video call but she might have only thought about it in between application and call.
For the future mentioning ‘I’d rather sitters did not invite guests into my apartment but are welcome to meet them at the very nice communal spaces that my building offers’ makes the situation clear and will hopefully ensure that the situation doesn’t arise again.
It’s not unreasonable. I’ve had HOs state the same and it’s no problem as we’re both clear about the situation the sit has been agreed upon.
You need to state your ‘No Guests’ rule on your listing.
It can be repeated in your WG, but sitters do not get to see welcome guides until AFTER a sit is confirmed, so only having it there is pointless.
Welcome to the forum and to THS @LisaLisa
It’s your home and your rules . It’s fine for a sitter to ask about guests and it’s fine for a host to say No . However, this should all be discussed and agreed before a sit is confirmed.
With the benefit of hindsight, it would have been better to first answer the sitter’s question about having guests and then confirm the sit . That way round the sitter would have all the relevant information to consider before accepting the sit .
It’s a learning curve when you join THS and no harm done in this instance because you have both discussed it and sorted it out well before the sit was due to start.
THS doesn’t give sitters the facility to cancel the sit on the platform , only hosts can do that . There won’t be a bad mark against you , unless a complaint is made ( unlikely in this case ) and if that happened you have a record of your conversation to prove the cancellation is at the sitters request.
I agree with @Colin ‘s suggestion above to add your “no guests” policy to your listing - then potential sitters are aware before they apply .
As a sitter I don’t think your no guest policy is unreasonable at all. I would never expect to be able to have guests in the home, in fact it was only when I joined this forum that I became aware that it is even permitted under THS guidelines.
I am a solo sitter and often do 3, 4, or 5 week sits.
Where we live, it’s common that high rises have a common space (or two), like a big shared living room, to entertain guests, to sit and read, eat or what ever. They are often very nice and most have great views.
I assume @LisaLisa has something similar available.
Welcome to forum @LisaLisa !
It was unfortunate that this happened, I guess this wasn’t clear on the point of confirmation - as I understand it she asked before confirmation, and you answered after the confirmation (?).
If you don’t want any guests (at all) it is better to write it in the listing, so you get applications that are aware of this, and save everybody time.
Personally, I think one can ask things in the video-call that aren’t in the application, and in the same way I would mention in the application if there are deal-breakers, so I don’t waste their or my time if it isn’t possible.
If I know of something at the point of application I would usually mention. For instance if I’d like to bring someone I can mention in the application, and say that I am interested in the sit either way. But sometimes the issue doesn’t come up until a videocall is arranged, for instance that a partner has the possibility to join.
It would probably be better to wait with the confirmation until things that are important to one of the parties are clarified. Lesson learned.
It seems no harm is done, and it is only the host (and THS) that can push the cancel-button, it is no harm for you to do so.
If you don’t permit guests that is something you decide. Sometimes it can limit your pool of sitters, maybe especially for long sits it could be less attractive to not have a social life, also depending on possibilites of accommodation in the neighborhood. Some hosts only want solo sitters (or solo male/ female sitters) and they can have that criteria if they wish to. But then it is a good idea to put it in the listing, to get the right applicants for your sit.
I would say that it was a mistake to take “a couple of days” (?!) to think about it, but as an experienced sitter she should have WELL known to bring this up before accepting the sit.
You get to decide whether sitters can bring guests into your home or not, and this was a learning experience. Three years in and I still learn things from every sit. I hope you find a more suitable sitter and have a good experience!
She did bring it up before accepting the sit. In the post, it says they discussed it in the videochat. HO confirmed before deciding and sitter accepted before an answer. Learning curve for HO, but neither party did anything wrong (except to confirm sit before it was settled).
Your preference is absolutely reasonable. 90% of the sits I do specify no guests, and I actually thought it was against THS policy for anyone to have guests without explicit HO permission (the artist known as the “third party rule” - I thought) If guests were important to me I would specify that in my application - not after I had already accepted. The fact that she canceled based on something she did not mention in the application means you’re lucky and can now go find a more responsible sitter.
Thanks, reading is hard sometimes 
OP shouldn’t have offered the sit before deciding, and I’m surprised the sitter confirmed before hearing back, but she probably thought sending the offer meant visitors were ok. Nothing wrong with deciding to cancel then.
Welcome. There’s definitely a learning curve. Someone really should put in their application that they would like to have others join or visit. As a home owner, you do what you’re most comfortable with. If you dont want others in your home, its ok . you do you! We all have different opinions. I’m a solo sitter, so its me and me alone. The individual who mentioned sitters feeling “Isolated”…..well as sitters we apply to what sits we are interested in based on where, when, etc…..we are making that choice knowing what the sit may look like. It is not the home owners responsibility to make sure we dont feel isolated……that is on us as a sitter to determine if the sit does not align to what we enjoy or are comfortable with. I hope you continue to seek advice and support here despite all the differing opinions.
“It’s probably fair to suggest that some, or maybe even many sitters would find this offputting and if they read it in the listing or were subsequently told of a “no guests” policy they would either not apply or may cancel, as happened in the example that started this thread.”
I dont think think that’s generally true. Possibly for solo sitters but unlikely for couples. As a very experienced sitter of 7 years I’ve come across many listings that specify no guests. This could be because of negative past experiences the host has had or just their personal preference, for whatever reason. It does not put me off applying for the sit if its what we’re looking for. I sit with my hubby, mostly in places we don’t know anyone, so the issue of guests or visitors rarely comes up. If we’re in Germany or England, near enough to family or friends that the possibility of visitors may arise we would check it out with the hosts, in advance if possible.
We have a long Christmas sit in Australia coming up where we actually know two couples in the area. We met them both whilst stranded there during the 1st Covid lockdown. One of the couples are also THS hosts who had to cancel our sit and the other couple, friends of theirs, loaned us a beach house for 3 months!! We all became friends and have stayed in touch these 5 years. We have not specifically asked our new hosts about guests or visitors because their listing mentions an extra room for Kids or guests and their WG Talks about where guests can park! So we assume they’ll be OK with the odd visitors, if any! But we’ll double check in person once there.
The only mistake I see here in the OP is that the sit was confirmed AFTER the question was asked but BEFORE the answer was given! It would have saved the hassle of cancelling the sit and relisting if the HO had been clear about her thoughts around guests in advance. However, as a new host, it may not have occurred to her that a sitter would ask this!
The sitter may not have known in advance she’d want to invite guests or she may have wished to secure a call first and then check out the situation face to face. Personally I’m sometimes reluctant to ask too many questions in the application letter, (except essential deal breakers) if its something that can be asked, more relaxed, in a call.
Other factors that come into play are if the sit is very long or in an isolated place, if the sitter is solo or part of a couple, and if the request is to invite guests for dinner/coffee etc or for overnight stays. There is no hard or fast rule. Nothing is right or wrong and each sit is unique. Clear communication is key!
@LisaLisa As others have stated, many HOs do not allow guests.
We are HOs and sitters on the platform. In our home listing, we clearly state up front our “no guests” policy. Our sits are no longer than 10-11 days.
As sitters, we have never brought guests to the homeowner’s house.
I find her comment “other HOs allowed visitors" to be a turn off. It might have been said innocently enough, but statements such as these can make one feel as though one is being unreasonable (which you’re not) or meant to apply pressure. Either way, there’s no constructive outcome for saying that to you.
We’ve declined sitters who, in spite our stating a no guest policy on our listing, asked to bring people. Oh well!
- It’s your home, so you decide whether guests are allowed or not. Better to include this in your listing, so sitters who want to invite others can pass.
- Answer such Qs before confirming a sitter.
- Sitters are varied, with different priorities. Plus, the length or timing of a sit might affect whether they want sits that allow guests. Say over the holidays, some might prefer sits where they can have loved ones.
Personally, I sit solo, doing one- or two-week sits. I normally don’t care at all about inviting anyone — I can always meet friends or family elsewhere.
Some of my hosts have volunteered that sitters could invite guests. Like my current hosts mentioned that in their welcome guide, even though their house is worth millions USD. I won’t be inviting anyone, though.
An exception: The only time I asked whether I could invite someone was for lunch — a friend from abroad was grounded by an airline fleet’s mechanical issues and happened to be in the same city I was in. My sit dog had severe separation anxiety and it was winter, which meant we had no viable dining out options in the U.S. city, so I couldn’t bring him. Instead, my hosts agreed to my request to order lunch in and have my friend join us. If they had said no, I would’ve abided by that, because I’m a guest and it was their home.
No need. It’s already in THS Terms and Conditions
“5.3.10. not allow any other person(s) to participate in the Sit unless they have been approved in writing by the Pet Parent or the person is a Co-Sitter who has been registered to attend Sits with the Sitter under the Duo Sitter feature of the platform;”
If it’s in the listing sitters will know whether it’s a possibility to ask. That’s what this sitter did . Host said no . All within the T&Cs .
It is.
“5.3.10. not allow any other person(s) to participate in the Sit unless they have been approved in writing by the Pet Parent or the person is a Co-Sitter who has been registered to attend Sits with the Sitter under the Duo Sitter feature of the platform;”
In many cases, I prefer listings that say “no guests”. That way I have an excuse when friends or family members want to come over when I’m sitting in a location near them. No one has ever questioned when I say, “I’m so sorry I can’t have you over - the homeowners don’t allow it”, and then we go to a cafe or something.