Hello, within a few minutes of returning home I suspected that my sitter had a get together. My neighbor confirms that there were people over at my house when she got home at 11pm. I confronted the sitter and she told me that her and her partner had some friends over in the afternoon to celebrate partner’s birthday. I find that absolutely unacceptable. I understand I didn’t specifically mentioned in the welcome guide that exterior people are not allowed, but I didn’t even think to as on what authority does a sitter allow strangers in a home that is not theirs. Am I over-reacting?
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Not an over reaction at all. I would be livid too.
There is a no 3rd party allowed in the terms and conditions for the homeowner to adhere to.
I think its about time this clause was added to the sitters terms, and 3rd party guests of the sitter are not allowed unless permission is asked for, and given, prior to the sit being accepted by the sitter.
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As an owner I can understand you totally. Unfortunately I had this situation myself several times with sitters. This was the reason why I installed cameras some years ago.
In a first videocall I now always say that visitors are not posible and I also say: You perhaps saw on THS that we have cameras. We have cameras on each entrance. Also in each entrance of the garden (meaning: don’t even think about a visitor).
The first time when I heard from neighbours that there have been several people in my house during a longer time - the neighbours told me after the sit - I was so shocked. I thaught it would totally clear that you never can bring people to house what is not yours.
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Forgot to mention why I suspected the get-together:
- kitchen mats were really dirty - more than what 4 shoeless feet could cause (shoes-free rule in the house)
- kitchen floor was quite dirty
- dining room table was moved way off the wall
- stain of what looked like cake in the living room floor
I understand your feelings, but usually guest rules are discussed. If you didn’t bring it up and they were planning on having guests, they should have asked. It sounds like both sides made assumptions. Homeowners have every right to say “no guests.” There are tons of reasons why they don’t want someone they don’t know and haven’t vetted in their home. They don’t need to explain or justify. Sitters have to assume that there are no guests as there is a third party rule. It’s fine to ask however.
Some homeowners do have different policies and some might depend on the length of a sit or even the type of animals in the home. But sitters should never assume.
In your shoes, I would take a breath before writing the review and assess how they did other than that – the condition of the house, the pets, etc. I would absolutely mention that there were guests at a gathering held in your home without your permission, but I would also mention that you hadn’t explicitly told them “no guests”. I would also mention what you came home to as it sounds like they didn’t do a great job cleaning up. If it was me, and everything else was okay, I would not deduct more than one star.
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In the same way as in a hotel or an airbnb. Sometimes it is mentioned in the rules of the accommodation.
It was their birthday!
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Found in the Housesitter Guidelines.
- Do not invite anyone else into the owner’s home without prior permission from the owner. If this has been agreed, remember that your guests respect the home and pet(s) that you are caring for and that you are responsible for your guest(s) good behaviour and for ensuring that they behaving in accordance with your agreement with the home owner.
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The Sitter should have asked, period.
Curious what others think about this—we have a future Sit for 2.5 weeks, and the Welcome Guide explicitly says we can have 1-2 people at a time over.
Given this blanket permission, do I need to ask them each time we have a guest over for coffee, tea, happy hour, lunch, dinner, bbq on the patio? We plan to have 1-2 friends over several times during our stay.
What do you think we should do?
If we have guests every other day, and I need to ask each time, I would be bothering the Owners while they are on vacation, touring Europe. Should I clarify ahead of the Sit, asking for a confirmation of the blanket permission contained in the Welcome Guide? Or just know that I have already been granted permission, and not say anything further to the Owners?
There should no assumptions (birthday or not) that unless otherise stated in the listing that guests of the sitter are permitted. This is not a problem the HO caused by omitting a no guest clause in their listing.
THS are very strict about the 3rd party policy and rightly so, its there for a very good reason. No reason it shouldn’t also apply to a sitter having unauthorized guests unless appoved to prior to the sit being accepted.
Why so one sided?
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@CSD It’s unfortunate that you didn’t discuss this during the video chat.
Regardless, please mention the incident (in your blind review) factually so future homeowners know that these sitters like to have guests. It’s very useful information when deciding on a potential sitter.
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The OP asked a question, and I answered that it is quite common to receive guests in accommodation.
Personally, I have always asked on locations where I might expect relatives or friends visiting. When I did not ask, the HO sometimes brought it up, usually by stating permission, once with a restriction (“no locals please”).
If a sitter had asked about a birthday gettogether, I think most HOs would have been fine with that.
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Thank you for posting!
Can you quote me what I wrote that sounded one-sided?
I never said that sitters should assume guests were okay. I did in fact state in the homeowner’s shoes I’d put in the review and deduct a star. I only stated that both sides made assumptions. The hosts didn’t discuss a policy and assumed there would be no guests. The sitters didn’t discuss a policy and assummed guests would be okay or maybe they’d be okay if they weren’t discussed but we can’t know that.
I think homeowners and sitters both need to really go over what is and isn’t okay before a sit and not make assumptions. That’s not one-sided. I advised the homeowner to take a breath because her initial reaction seemed one of really feeling violated, and frankly there are much worse things sitters can do and per these forums have done. That is a fact. Not a defense of the sitters.
I would describe the sitters behavior as slick. They didn’t ask, assumed they could clean up and the homeowner wouldn’t be the wiser. The homeowner saw some tell tale signs and a neighbor confirmed. However, this is also an assumption on my part. The sitters might have thought their actions were fine. An overthetop review where the homeowner expresses outrage and a lot of feelings is going to be ultimately less helpful in warning other homeowners than a calm one that tells what happened and lets other people draw their own conclusions.
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Hello @CSD and welcome.
That’s quite a first post and I appreciate your frustration.
It’s seems they had pre-planned a party for the stay and should have asked you. I don’t feel a benefit of the doubt is warranted here.
As a home host, I would mention that the sitter had guests in the home without asking you prior.
Just remember to be factual with an even tone in the review.
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I would still mention it. I’m sure it will be fine.
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No, no and no.
During a videocall we can’t discuss the whole world. For example we will not discuss that my best friend will be in the house every weekend, because it’s just forbidden. Very clearly it’s also forbidden that the sitter brings some friends to the sit. If the sitter would like that, it’s his active part to ask about that and it’s not the owners topic to not have discussed this.
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@PVGemini I suggest letting the home host know that over the 2.5 weeks you will take them up on the offer to have 1 to 2 friends over to the house a few different times while you are there.
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Just clarify with the owners beforehand @PVGemini. I’ve been very fortunate in having owners allow me to have friends or family pop in for a cuppa or meal (never overnight) as they want me to treat it as my home. In saying that, I am in my late 60s as are my friends and we’re definitely not going to have raging parties 
! I believe the relationships built through our communication and on meeting have been responsible for this trust placed in me.
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I always ask the owner if guest are allowed. I never assume because it’s not an Airbnb. Your staying in someone’s home. I would find it rude if someone staying did something without asking if it was okay.
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It’s not prohibited for the sitter to have guests in the house. It is prohibited in the T&C to have someone else ‘participate in the sit’ which they would be if they were staying and looking after the home and pets. This does not prohibit guests.
There is a section in the guidelines saying the sitter should not have guests without permission. This is a guideline not a T&C so I have to assume THS made this distinction for a reason. Otherwise they would put it in the T&C as they have for the 3rd party section for owners.
Having said that it does seem clear that having guests or a party (even if it is your birthday) is not the polite thing to do so mention it in your review.
Going forward for anyone who reads this thread and doesn’t want guests - put it in your listing. not the Welcome Guide. That only goes out to sitters once they’ve accepted the sit.
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