Difficult sit...advice for a review please

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

This is our second sit. We are one adult and two children 10 and 14 (a small 14!). We are the first sitters for this owner.

Our first sit was amazing and I really don’t know if that was of a much higher standard than what is usually expected, which has led to us being disappointed with this one.

Here goes…

We requested a Welcome Guide which never came but we did agree to an email which contained most of the necessary information. We were only sitting for two nights so I wasn’t going to insist on a Welcome Guide with it being a short stay. Amenities section on listing was not filled in.

As we arrived, the dog was much bigger than expected. The dog is a pup and the photos don’t show him at the size that he currently is. But even for a pup, he is very large. We could accept that for a well behaved dog but…

He is poorly trained. He surfed the worktops at any given opportunity and whilst we were forewarned about this for the danger of food, we could not leave anything out to the extent of tea towels, cloths, cables etc. They got pinched in an instant.

The dog was constantly jumping up at my children. Again, we were forewarned about the possibility of the kids being scratched (only as we got to the sit!!) But both of my children have been quite badly scratched by this dog with red marks being left on their skin. Sit is advertised as family friendly. There is absolutely not a chance that this sit would be suitable for those with children younger than teenagers (in my view). The dog is a chewer.

My daughter wasn’t even able to walk past for a good length of time without the dog (I will reiterate, the massive dog!!) jumping up and chewing on her clothes. Even when we were sat on the sofa, the dog would jump all over us. The dog is heavy and strong. My child’s jumper ended up with holes in it from the dog mouthing and pulling it. The dog was even attempting to chew on her hair (ponytail). I obviously intervened & the dog spent time in the crate but I did initially try to make things work by way of distraction technique. The dog was chewing on anything that was left out - bag straps, coats etc. We literally had to be on guard as to what he was doing, for every single second that passed.

The home…

We were told that the beds would be made up for our arrival. As we go up to bed, I notice that there were stains on the sheet in the first bed I was sending one child too. There were also crisp crumbs.

I checked the other beds (6 beds all together!!) and they were all the same. Bodily stains, food stains etc.

The master bedroom bed had hair on the pillows, so again, not fresh bedding.

This house is excessively large and I did not feel comfortable searching for new bedding etc. We made do.

No towels were left for us which again, was surprising.

Now I’m no clean freak, I make do. But I do feel misled.

The issue I have, is the owner was really lovely, we had a good rapport. I haven’t yet fed back to her my take on the sit, but I do want to. I find being honest in situations such as this very difficult because I don’t like to upset people. I always feel very guilty. But I feel in these circumstances, I must be honest with the owner and for future sitters.

But I want to give a review that is positive, despite what I’ve written above. How do I make the review positive, but factual?

Thank you.

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2

I am sorry to hear this wasn’t a good experience. I can’t share any advice based on personal experience, but just some general thoughts…

Mentioning certain negative aspects of a sit doesn’t necessarily equate to being ‘negative’ in the review when it comes to the animal’s behavior in particular.

You are just stating certain facts–as a puppy, he jumped a lot, he was prone to chewing on things so you need to watch out for him, he may be better suited for older children,etc…

The key is keeping the content factual and non-emotional–avoiding hyperbolic language, how the situation made you feel, etc… In doing this, you will give future sitters a good idea that he is a more high-maintenance dog, and people can decide for themselves if that is something they could deal with or not-- some may not care.

For example, the dog I am watching now will start asking for his food pretty early in the morning–between 6 and 7. We were made aware of this prior to accepting the sit and are fine with it. But people who don’t like getting up early probably wouldn’t be, and my mention of it in the review wouldn’t be meant to criticize his behavior or speak negatively of the sit…it is just a fact of the situation that would be helpful for future sitters to know.

As for the cleanliness aspect, that is a tough one. Commenting on someone’s house is not like commenting on a restaurant or other place of business. I really don’t know how I would approach it.

While I have occasionally sat in houses that weren’t as clean as I would like, they were not even close to being dirty in any way since the comparison was based on the fact that most houses I sit in are immaculately clean.

What you describe here suggests he is in need of some serious training and you may suggest the hosts privately that they do some work on that before having sitters come again.

Good luck working through it…giving negative feedback in this context can be particularly challenging!

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3

You will receive many great responses so mine will be brief:
You state that the owner is really lovely, but I do not see that after learning how she has left the house for you.
You want to give a positive review but was there anything that was positive? There doesn’t seem to be.
It is unclear whether you intend to communicate with the owner privately before you leave a review. I recommend that you don’t do this as she may retaliate and leave a negative review for you.
The best thing to do is wait for more responses on this thread, leave a factual review, and then move on from this.

Your first sitting was amazing and most are, so let us hope that you can forget about this one.

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4

Ways to potentially write a factual review:

Pros and cons

or

This sit will appeal to sitters who prioritize X.
This sit won’t appeal to sitters who prioritize X.

or

Things we appreciated about our sit: (list accordingly)
Wish we’d known before our sit: (list accordingly)

Note: Even factual reviews can upset certain hosts or sitters. But that’s neither here nor there. That’s because reviews are aimed at helping future prospective hosts or sitters make informed choices. It’s not reasonable to expect anyone to lie or cover up to spare someone’s feelings. That would make the reviewer complicit in misleading future hosts or sitters.

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5

It sounds like you’re in a tricky spot!

To make the review both positive and factual, I’d suggest starting with the aspects that went well—the good rapport with the owner, the opportunity to care for the dog, and any other positives you experienced. Was it a nice area, something to explore?

Then, when addressing the challenges, phrase them in a constructive, balanced way. For instance, you could mention the dog’s size and energy level, suggesting that future sitters should be prepared for an active, large breed, a Playful young dog still in training, and note that while the home was spacious, the bedding and towels were not quite up to expectations. Focus on offering helpful advice for future sitters (and indeed the host) than «just» pointing out the negatives, and this way, the review remains respectful yet honest.

You could also ease your way out with an ending such as «Hope this is helpful for future sits», or similar, if you want to end it on a positive note.

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6

I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this, even for 48 hours! I’m not sure some home owners fully comprehend the difficulty of sitters looking after a poorly trained dog and the injuries this can cause, let alone dealing with crisp crumbs and other unsavoury things on bedding (yuck!)

I agree completely with @KC1102 that mentioning negative elements of a sit does not necessarily equate to a negative review. Here’s an example. I am currently on an amazing house sit with wonderful animals and owners. The owners have been members of THS for years and have had many sitters. However, it seems they have learned through experience how to make a sit comfortable and it was not always that way. The owners have compiled a folder with sitter feedback. One sitter left ten A4 pages of her experience and notes for future sitters, some of which was pretty negative. While I think this is overkill, it says to me that the hosts have really listened to sitters and implemented their suggestions, to the extent they present these to future sitters and encourage them to express anything that can be improved upon. Good hosts WANT to know these things.

This is a mutual exchange and it seems as though, in your case, only one side benefitted from the sit. There are things you can mention to the HO directly, and others you can mention in your review but it needn’t be perceived as overly negative, just an account of your experience. Good luck!

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7

The unclean sheets/towels, needs to be mentioned, it’s just not on.
The lack of a Welcome Guide is fine, some prefer to complete their own, so you still had essential details for the short period you were there.

However, pups grow fast, so that could be how the images showed a smaller pup. Personally if I were you I wouldn’t sit a pup with kids, you must have known the age of the pup, so I wouldn’t be too harsh in your review on that front, because there’s always the potential for a pup to are nip, bite, play roughly, pull, tug, see everything as a toy, and use whatever is around to soothe teething pain. So mention in your review that at the moment with it still being a pup, it is more suited to someone with older kids than your own, but I wouldn’t be too harsh because you chose to apply for a pup-sit in the first place.

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8

It sounds like a bad experience. The cleanliness and particularly the linens is troubling. If you were sleeping in the assigned beds, there should have been fresh linens – that’s on the homeowners. Unless it was a large house and a crazy misunderstanding about sleeping arrangements. Do they have household help? Is it possibly the cleaner’s fault? Regarding the dog’s not being well-behaved or as described, it sounds like you did have some warnings from the HO although was larger than you expected. To some extent as I read this, I thought more due diligence on your part would have been helpful. This doesn’t sound like the ideal sit for a family. Dogs grow fast and with a young dog you could ask how much does the dog weigh now. It doesn’t really sound like things weren’t as described, more like both you and the host thought it would work out better than it did. You might also reconsider sitting young or iffy dogs with your kids.

So it seems to me with the dog behavior stuff, you weren’t necessarily or purposely misled. The home should have been tidier. You can either write a review that is honest about the cleanliness issue, and that addresses dog behavior in a way that offers honesty for other sitters but doesn’t blame the homeowner.

There are various strategies that people have about reviews. I could see why you might want to avoid a debrief BEFORE the homeowner has written a review for you, but if you liked them and are comfortable I’d have the chat even if they haven’t reviewed you yet. You might still mention stuff in the review, but a debrief would make clear that you addressed it with the homeowner at the end of the sit and they were open to … whatever they said they would change.

It does feel there are positive aspects to the sit. You like the hosts and found them personable, and that is also a factual part of the review. You could also say something about how great the hosts are so you are confident they’ll address the cleanliness issue and that the dog’s behavior will improve in time.

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9

You were lucky!

Did this owner have any previous reviews? What did those say? In hindsight, was there any subtle mention of negatives between the lines?

Had there been missing reviews? You can only see that in the app, you cannot see it via the web interface.

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Thank you all for your very useful tips, I appreciate them all.

I am going to send a message privately to the HO and I am going to suggest that she perhaps reconsiders offering sits to families with children whilst the pup is still so young & excitable and I will share our full experience. The pup was described as chilled and easy in the listing but as we know, our experience was quite the opposite. He wasnt aggressive by any stretch, just super excitable with no manners :joy:

TH have also reached out to me privately which I really appreciate and I think that’s amazing service - but I am happy to chat to the owner myself and we are all good :blush: Luckily I have extensive experience with dogs, so that really did help us.

In terms of the bedding, I’m not sure yet on how to handle that but I’ll figure it out.

Thank you all :blush:

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11

The HO was new to the platform so no reviews as of yet. It’s definitely been a learning experience for me so I know now of questions that I definitely need to be asking ahead of confirming a sit.

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@alibombali, sorry to hear of the poor experience. I see multiple great responses from fellow housesitters. I’d only add that best practice seems to encourage clear, honest, specific review. Encourage simple, factual language. Consider prioritize key topics rather than provide exhaustive list.
In regards broader experience, puppies can be a challenge. They can clearly grow, perhaps a lot, between date of listing/acceptance and date of housesit. And behaviour can be unpredictable; understated; and/or aspirational (!). There’s a reason why many housesitters avoid puppies. And some housesitters would reject a housesit without a prepared Welcome Guide (sometimes a red flag).
Hope that your next housesit is a much better experience.

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Reviews are divided into sections, including accuracy of the sit description and pet behaviour, so I’d advise deducting stars on both counts whilst acknowledging that (insert pup’s name) is very much still in the puppy stage. Definitely mention that bedding was not freshly laundered, as this is very important for future sitters to be aware of.

To be honest, I think the dog’s size and behaviours are issues you could easily have ascertained, prior to accepting the sit. In knowing - or investigating - the breed and the pup’s age, you could have got a fair idea of what to expect. And pups will be pups, given half a chance.

You say you have extensive experience with dogs, so I’m surprised that both you and the kids had ongoing problems with this pup mouthing you and being overly physical. Kind but very firm boundaries need to be established so that pups don’t take liberties. Then again, on a two night sit, I can understand this would have been demanding for you.

Going forwards, it’s important to really think about whether you want to care for specific pets, considering age; size; breed; behaviours; health; energy levels; personality; grooming requirements; exercise requirements etc., and don’t ever allow yourself to be swayed by a particular property or location.

You are new to house sitting, as is this HO, so it’s really not a good idea to reach out and provide feedback prior to submitting your review. In alerting the HO to the fact you were not entirely happy with every aspect of the sit, you are likely to receive a retaliatory review, which won’t do you any favours as this is only your second sit.

It really is important - both for yourself and for hosts - to write honest and factual reviews, since this allows future sitters to make a better-informed choice and for hosts to consider and address any issues. We’re currently on our 43rd sit and I know it’s not nice to have to mention unsatisfactory aspects of a sit in a review but, I once read a post on here - I think it was by @pietkuip - which stated something along the lines of: a HO isn’t ‘lovely’ if they’ve left a dirty house or not been honest in their listing. And that’s the truth, isn’t it? Do mention all the sit positives as well, so that your review is balanced and fair.

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14

Hi @Happypets
You have reiterated what I briefly said in my thread and I agree entirely with you.

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