What’s the normal position people take regarding dried food, coffee capsules for Nespresso machine, alcohol, fresh food etc left in kitchen and fridge? As a first time home owner requesting a sitter, with one accepted, I’m happy for them to have any fresh food left in fridge like milk and salad. And basic things open in the kitchen, like flour, salt, pepper, oil. But not to help themselves to larder cupboard or freezer stuff and especially not to wine or spirits in the drinks cupboard. How does one impose this? And is it just then a matter of trust? I’ve never done this before, invited someone I don’t know to live in my house! I wondered what other people do, how they manage this?
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Welcome to the Forum, @travelswithToby - pleased to have you here!
While you’re waiting to hear from our lovely members, I thought I’d share a couple of links to similar conversations we’ve had in the past, which might give you some answers from a sitter’s perspective!
Hosts leaving food staples at the beginning of a sit
HOs expecting food from sitters on their return
Jenny
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Love this topic — totally understandable as a first-time owner. It does feel a bit like handing over your house keys and your pantry and hoping for the best.
From a sitter’s perspective, most of us assume:
• Fresh perishables left in the fridge are fine to use (milk, salad, yoghurt, etc).
• Open basics like salt, pepper, oil, flour and spices are normal to use.
• Tea and coffee are usually fine unless told otherwise.
• Closed pantry items, freezer stock and alcohol are not automatically assumed to be included.
Where things can get awkward is when expectations aren’t stated. Sitters aren’t mind readers, but most are very respectful when boundaries are clear.
The simplest way to handle it is just to say it plainly in your Welcome Guide or messages. Something like:
“We’re very happy for you to use any fresh food in the fridge and basic cooking items (oil, salt, spices, etc). We’d prefer pantry/freezer stores and alcohol not be used — thank you for understanding.”
That doesn’t sound harsh. It’s helpful.
Clarity makes everyone more comfortable. When nothing is said, many sitters will err on the side of being overly cautious anyway.
And yes, there is always an element of trust — but clear communication removes most of the anxiety on both sides.
You’re not being unreasonable at all. You’re just setting house rules, which good sitters genuinely appreciate.
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“Please help yourself to perishables in the fridge, condiments, spices/herbs, coffee (and leave out what you are offering). It’s nice to be offered fresh bread, fresh fruit (not just your leftovers), butter, EVOO, balsamic vinegar. If, as a sitter, I have to buy new EVOO, for example, I’m obviously leaving it there. Staples like rice, pasta, pasta sauce are inexpensive, and the sitter is unlikely to use much.
I don’t know what a “larder cupboard” is but i imagine that’s where you have canned goods and the like.
For a sitter who does drink, it’s nice to leave them a bottle or two of decent wine. I had a HO say help yourself to wine on a certain shelf, and it was all so old the whites had turned orange (and it was not “orange” wine).
I wouldn’t have a problem with an HO stating that the contents of the freezer and all booze is off limits. Tone matters. But please leave space in the freezer for the sitter.
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We are homeowners and sitters going on our fifth year.
As HOs, we leave plenty of space in the fridge and freezer for their own food. We state that in our listing and Welcome Guide. We also state that sitters are free to use any condiments in the fridge, as well as spices and herbs, oil and vinegars, and salt and pepper.
We ask that sitters do not use items in the pantry or top shelf of freezer.
And lastly, we buy them breakfast items, fruit, milk, creamer and coffee so their first morning in our home is relaxed.
We do tend to select sitters who are self-sufficient. So food/beverages are not an issue.
As sitters, we have never been told we could use any food or beverages in the home, except for oil, spices and herbs for cooking. Other than those basics, we always provide our own.
So, that’s been our experience.
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Just state it. Maybe you come home to a vodka bottle filled with water. But then you might as well worry that they steal your sheets. As long as you let the sitter know what is off limits, it is off limits.
Some hosts say that sitters can use dry/pantry food if they replenish anything that they use up. I personally appreciate that, because if I need 1 tea spoon of four for a sauce, I am not keen on buying a whole kilo. Yet I understand if I should not eat the cupboard empty. Though I find hosts who offer me everything, and ask me to just write a list of thing I use up, the best. That is a tiny minority, though.
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Similar but I am ok if they use some pantry items. I just give guidance that if they use a lot of something or the last of something to please replace it. For example, I would not mind at all if a sitter used a little bit of flour to coat some meat or thicken a sauce. If they used all the flour because they like baking fresh bread, that’s ok but please buy some replenishments from the store before leaving.
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ASK them prior to the sit if they would be interested in this - if they aren’t, get rid of anything perishable that won’t still be good on your return (and pack any of that up so that there is lots of empty space for the sitter’s things and it won’t smell in the fridge).
As for everything else - it’s your call, just be clear about it and make sure that the sitter has cupboard space.
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I keep a running list of anything I use and need to replace eg shower gel, toilet rolls, washing up liquid, olive oil black pepper garlics etc as occasionally in the first 24 hours we might not get to do a big shop.
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Hi @Felinelover Oh, yes, the flour and sugar are right next to the oils and vinegars. So they know they can use them, too, with no need to replace. I just didn’t list everything in my original forum post; I simply cited some items for illustrative purposes.
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We explicitly state in our Welcome Guide and House Manual that sitters are welcome to use opened items not in the freezer or liquor cabinet. Short sweet and simple.
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As a sitter I would generally not use anything I wasn’t invited to use unless a) perishables which were not going to last the length of the sit and which I would otherwise need to throw out b) staples such as salt, pepper, herbs, spices, cooking oil or c) instant coffee/tea bags if a short (3 night) sit. Even if I was invited to open a bottle of wine or help myself to spirits I wouldn’t do so. Well, I say that, but I’ve never actually been invited to help myself to bottles of wine or spirits - I might rethink that if that situation ever arises!!!
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As a sitter I take my own tea bags and coffee with me.but I like when the house owner leaves maybe eggs bread cheese and milk..i have had owner taking me for a big shop as I don’t drive before they leave.which was so nice.i have been asked what kind of bread and milk i like as well.
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Thanks for letting me know
Thank you very much for your helpful response. I can certainly offer what you suggest.
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OK, good way to do it! Sounds reasonable. And hopefully people always respect the request
Oh wow, that sounds like you’re a very thoughtful sitter. I think I’ll provide all those though. unless it’s a really long sit
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That sounds very reasonable and what I shall say. Being my first time, I haven’t yet thought everything through properly yet, so find this guidance very helpful. Thank you
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Thanks. I’ll do that -make it clear they can help themselves to small amount of any of the flour, oil etc but if they use up a whole jar of olive oil, to please replace it!
Thank you very much for your helpful response. It’s good to know what other people do, so what is the norm really.