@Chatsetchiens yes, and one of the main points of my posted topic. I have felt the same way as have many others so I’m really sorry you experienced that. I’m hoping that in some small way, this conversation may help going forward, if only for a short time before it all once again becomes a blur. Keep on keeping on 
When 90 % of the responses are supportive, is the it really useful to add another one? Or might it be more useful to give a different point of view?
I sometimes see pile-ups here on “terrible sitters” where things are maybe not quite as presented by the original poster. Some nuance, even pushback may be in order then, I think.
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I definitely do see where you’re coming from in terms of balanced perspectives. In my case, I was seeking a practical solution to a real predicament I was in and the supportive, helpful comments and suggestions that I did get here in the forum really lifted me up, including one of yours at the time. 
I think we should never underestimate the power of kind words and how they can really have an impact on other people.
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Yes, different perspectives are great. I think asking questions can help too.
Drawing conclusions and judging people however do not help. If the feedback is constructive, I mean with a solution that could help the OP, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with a different perspective. People can disagree, but respectfully. And here in the forum, some replies are not respectful in my view.
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My SO and I are at opposite ends of the US political spectrum. If we never discuss politics then we are feeding the polarization which is so troublesome here. So we agree to hear each other’s perspective with an open mind.
With strangers, it’s generally a subject to avoid for sure! I remember having to remember this in the UK. The further north I went (to Shetland and Orkney) the closer the local opinions were to my own.
I left the forum for a while due to the situation you describe in your original post. When I came back I found that the same situation existed. While I do not need to be right, I do need for the intent of the post to remain clear. I get frustrated when I post with clear goals and a few consistent people jump in and latch on to a word or two and all of a sudden the conversation becomes one about a completely different topic and the original intent is lost. So I’ll try for a bit to redirect back to the topic and eventually just give up.
I don’t think you can mute your own post. I wish I could when it has gone off the rails. But I do wish we could block individuals that consistently troll posts and don’t add helpful comments. It’s best not to interact with them and it’s hard not to when we must read what they write.
How far have you traveled for your sits ziggy? I have never made it to your country as the trip is so long and I have an old dog and old mother I can’t leave for long periods of time.
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@anon42826925 all interesting thoughts of yours. I now mute topics I don’t want to be involved in or hear anymore about. Most simply because I have read the topic, I can’t help or it isn’t relevant to me. It is working well for me. I “think” you can actually block a particular member, only from seeing their posts, if you feel the need. Please anyone correct me if I am wrong.
I have travelled as far as the UK for my sits and hopefully further into Europe next trip. From the UK I then travel to other places without sitting. I will do anything to fly so an 18hr flight from Oz to Heathrow for example is still exhilarating for me, I never tire of flying. It just means I am beginning another adventure 
Really enjoyed the few sits that I have done in England and Scotland and this time I am focusing on the south of England, or anywhere below London. Love that area.
I totally understand your point about leaving your elderly dog and mother, I have been in that situation. Long story coming up 
In 2015 I spent six months travelling overseas and left my elderly dog with a sitter and my mother was in an aged care facility. She was 84 going on 60 lol so I thought I would always see her again, she was so young in herself. But I had a really eerie feeling something was wrong about five months into my trip so decided to go home. My housesitter wouldn’t leave, saying she had nowhere to sit. So I spent a month in Bali trying to explain to her that I needed to come home and she could surely stay with her daughter, and of course I was sorry to be coming home early. I eventually got a new housesit in Tasmania, Australia so I flew there, all this time talking to my mother about wanting to see her and come home. Two days into that sit, I got the dreaded phone call that Mum only had hours to live. I managed a ten second phone call with her (she was heavily sedated) and got on the first flight home but missed seeing her by one hour. My housesitter STILL refused to leave and I had to arrange my mother’s funeral whilst staying with relatives and also buy new clothes for the funeral as everything nice was at home. It took another two days after the funeral for her to eventually leave, and my home was a disgrace and my dog was a mess.
Not sure why I am talking about this here, I think what you said just brought back all those memories and I related to what you had written. We can’t always be there in these sad times but given the opportunity to live my life over, I probably wouldn’t have gone away when I did. But life has a funny way of doing things sometimes and I always look at it as though I had been protected from seeing her pass, she knew I was always with her, even when I wasn’t. Who knows 
It wasn’t a sitter from TH by the way. Now I’ll go and have a little cry 
Always love your Mum, she’s the only one you will ever have
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Big hugs from North Carolina USA. I’m so sorry. For all of it. I can’t believe the sitter didn’t clear out when you needed to come home to be with your Mom.
Mine is 87 and still living in the house I grew up in. She’s had two strokes. We have walk about 5 times a week as she needs a spotter. My dog is roughly 12/13 and has been through a cancer battle and has been cancer free for 3.5 years. She’s getting along just fine. But I’m well aware that my time with both of them is limited.
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@anon42826925 thanks for the hugs, sometimes we need them hey. Yep! Sitter just wouldn’t leave. I should have been tougher but wasn’t at the time, I am now Your situation sounds exactly like mine insofar as Mum and the dog. Thank you for sharing, it’s nice knowing we aren’t always alone in a situation 
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As they say …. If you cant say something nice …. Don’t say anything at all!
BW
Tom
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Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.
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Indeed! People can present a differing point of view and do so in a manner which is respectful and not patronising.
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The topic brings up for me that cultural differences are very easy to misconstrue. At an airbnb in South America, I had trouble with the translation and found the directions to be very vague causing me to ask a lot of questions. I also offered to, and did re-write their Spanish directions for the next english speaker once I got clarification. But my helpfulness turned out to bite me in the end because I got a less than stellar review calling me “demanding”. I simply had questions and didn’t want to do anything wrong in the apartment. So, now I am more leary of renting local’s apartments in other countries with cultural differences, sadly.
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@tortimom that’s such a shame, we do depend on those Airbnb reviews as much as from TH. I totally agree that cultural differences can sometimes really cause issues. I am fast learning to go with the local flow, keep my mouth shut (sometimes lol) and my mind open, and only give advice or help if requested. It’s sad that we have come to this but as you say, it really is a cultural thing and as travellers, we just have to accept it I guess.
Slightly off topic, but on the topic of cultural differences. I was in Australia just once and found Aussies extremely friendly. Sometimes a little too outspoken for me, but ai never felt offended personally.
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@andrealovesanimals I am glad you found us friendly. I think our dry humour is sometimes taken out of context but I’m glad you never took it personally. We sometimes sound like we are being outspoken but usually there is a joke or ten behind what we say. We also move on very quickly. I know my rellies from the USA are always left baffled by our conversations, trying to be polite and laugh but they don’t really get it and are left silently bewildered. 
I do have trouble sometimes when travelling, when some nationalities take everything so seriously and I am being me. That’s why I love travelling though, everyone is so different.
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