I wish everyone would understand and acknowledge that this Forum consists of both homeowners and housesitters from aaaall over the world. What works in one country can be COMPLETELY different to what works in another country. How one nationality acts and do things can be completely different to another. Completely different. I read some posts and my jaw drops as some things posted I would never dream of doing or not doing. I have travelled to more countries than I dare to count and met so many people, rarely are they the āsameā as me. Aussies have a broad, dry sense of humour which is often misinterpreted but itās who we are. This type of diversity is what makes the world go round.
No two countries are the same, despite most of us speaking English, thatās where the similarities sometimes end. Lately it does seem that a lot of members are really pushing their own beliefs on people in a rather aggressive manner at times. The forum is about discussion and helping people out, not trying to āconvinceā people that your way is the only way. We need to broaden our way of responding with respect, understanding and accountability at times.
So, really, why donāt we all just get back to basics and maybe try to think outside the box and accept that we DO come from different countries and we DO have different thoughts and ideas. Letās express ourselves in a more considerate manner and stop trying to āprove we are rightā. We arenāt always right, or wrong, but everyone has a right to an opinion, whether you agree with it or not. Human nature as it is, we usually do like to think we are always right, but sometimes we just arenāt. Letās accept that and move on to something else if it appears to be going nowhere. Move on.
So I hope I donāt sound rude or condescending or anything else you wish to call it, I just think that travellers as we mostly are, we are better than what Iāve seen written lately. Letās be kinder in a world that at present isnāt so
Great sentiments @ziggy - debate, discussion, information, advice and support are all part of a forum. Not all of it we will love but itās never personal and often incredibly useful.
Hey @ziggy
I watched āOne Flew Over The Cuckooās Nestā last week.
Hadnāt seen it in years.
I never realized that the one who managed to escape the insane asylum was the one who pretended to be deaf and dumb.
@Cuttlefish I totally agree, and it is the never personal and totally useful bit I am directing my post at Unfortunately I personally see some interacting simply to constantly try to prove someone else is wrong, not discussing or problem solving and with no intent to do so. Just my observations
Not only is the forum a great source for information, it provides support. People should feel free to ask for help and feedback and talk about problems theyāve encountered.
We all know email communications can sometimes seem unduly severe because we donāt hear tone or see body language. For those people who tend to be straightforward and direct, consider softening your message so itās not taken wrong.
If a post seems unkind or insensitive, there are two options: Ignore it or send a note to one of the moderators
Hi @ziggy. Thanks so much for making this topic. Perhaps it will become one we can link to when other topics start getting too, uh, flamey (yeah just made that up).
I was thinking of further practical advice that I find helpful:
Wait one sleep cycle to reply. E.g., a day. When I get an email (including forum emails), I often read it and then send it to a folder/label āhandle after 1 day.ā I may make some notes in an email draft, but I wonāt send it until after a day.
You can also do this in the forums with the ābookmarkā feature/button. For any topic, you can make a bookmark for any date and itāll remind you later. Sometimes Iāll also have a draft saved for that topic, or Iāll do it in my Notes app since I feel thatās less likely to be accidentally deleted.
After waiting, I often decide not to reply at all. I said what I wanted to say, and I donāt think Iāll convince so-and-so. Or wouldnāt be worth the energy, if you prefer. Think of the big picture/meta. If two people both want to have the last word, someoneās got to man up. (Man down?)
A totally different option is to engage, but constructively. For me, this would be a DM (direct message) requesting a video chat via Google Meet, Zoom, etc. A video chat provides so much more beyond-written info: itās just easier to connect/empathize/communicate. Even if we disagree after a video chat, at least we can be sure that we disagree.
Anyway, thatās what works for me. (And in case anyoneās wondering, Iāve been posting less for a while now, mostly because I want to get back to coding/programming. Just had to make time choices.)
@geoff.hom love your new word, āflameyā As per usual, your words are well thought out and written. You are so methodical and organised! I envy you! I think you have raised some points worth absorbing and personally, I will be doing so. I particularly like your method of waiting a day to react or not react, human nature puts us into defence mode I think when replying rapidly to a post.
It has been mentioned to me elsewhere that I can simply mute a discussion that is stirring me up so that is what I have started doing today. A shame it has to come to that though, we are all adults.
Thanks for your considerate and thought provoking words, your input is always well received.
My last two sitters were from Aussie, absolutely fantastic. Politically we werenāt on the same planet (not that we argued) but I canāt speak more highly of them. What struck me most was that they were realistic, no wishy washy sensitivities but pragmatic in every sense. I did read your ārantā , well most of it before I fell asleep! Very thought provoking!!!
@Ken sorry I kept you up. I can assure you I am far from wishy washy, I could certainly give you a good run for your money, they make us tough Downunder Whatās the old saying, never discuss politics or religion. Glad you enjoyed and had a positive experience with my fellow Aussie sitters.
Thanks for this post, I feel exactly the same way. Certain members (who have not posted in this thread so far) seem to run the show and tell others not to post in threads when they disagree with somethingā¦ and it seems like they canāt be stopped!?
I for one would not post about any problems that might make me vulnerable on the forum. There are too many posts with the kind of message āitās your own fault, you did everything wrong, you are just a bad house sitter / pet owner / personā. No, thanks.
I really hear you on this, Andrea. A few months back, I was in a real predicament on an overseas sit and I reached out on here for some advice and tips etc. Fortunately, Iād say well over 90% of the contributions to my post were overwhelmingly supportive and helpful. However, I did have several comments that felt quite the opposite. I actually felt quite condescended to by a few of the contributions and they just werenāt even remotely helpful given the very challenging situation I was in at the time. It wouldāve been better for them to have refrained from saying anything.
Like you, I now think twice before posting for any support/advice if Iām ever in a sticky situation on a sit.
Unfortunately I personally see some interacting simply to constantly try to prove someone else is wrong, not discussing or problem solving and with no intent to do so. Just my observations 
Forgot about the footie lol
