When I go away for more than a couple of days, I always ask my sitter if I can “pick up a few items at the grocery store to get you started.” I guess, in my head, I think something to get them through breakfast and lunch the first day, maybe two days… Sitters have always been super grateful.
There was one time a sitter sent me a list that - to me - felt both overly long and overly specific (the brand of oat milk, the variety of apples…) I was annoyed, but I realized that the sitter had no idea what I might think is reasonable. So, it occurred to me that maybe I should be the one to specify the number of items: “I’d like to pick up a half a dozen or so items…” or “food to get you started your first day at my place.”
What do you think is reasonable? Do you have language suggestions for the offer?
@GardenCat Just offering to pick some things up is a great welcome for me as a sitter. When asked I generally only ask for something to get me through breakfast on the first morning – for me, bread, cheese, coffee, fruit. I do ask for crusty bread (not mushy loaf bread) and an ‘interesting’ cheese. Exploring grocery stores in new places can be fun, even here in the US you do find local food in different places.
It’s a lovely thought but I don’t think it is necessary. People have so many allergies and preferences and the food could go to waste. Why not just make sure your store cupboard has staples in it that they can use if needed but won’t be wasted if they don’t.
I much prefer an (almost) empty fridge, a couple of drawers in the freezer for my use and maybe a little room in the pantry or one of the kitchen cupboards. One of my delights when starting a brand new sit is visiting the local market or a supermarket I’ve never tried before
Thank you. I guess the reasons you mention - that people could have allergies and preferences - is the exact reason I do ask, rather than just leave them food that I eat. That’s a really good point about clearing out space for sitters in the fridge/freezer/pantry. Thank you!
It is lovely and considerate. Although I wouldn’t provide a list as such, it is a cross-cultural community and I can see how some would see such a question as something one should answer properly - we expect different things and the answer too could be to recognize your generosity.
I do think also it could differ between locations. If it is for instance a sit with no or not much shopping opportunities nearby - or of the sit itself doesn’t allow much/any time to go for groceries I would probably see it in another context than if it is ample shopping opportunities and plenty time to go.
For me personally I would find it welcoming to find staples like cofffee/ tea, biscuits or simular for a little meal, and if it is items that could store until host is back it really isn’t an issue whether I use it or not - I can have some if I like or not. It isn’t wasted anyway.
You could say something like, “I want to make sure you have some food for breakfast on the first day and would like to provide a few grocery items. Would milk, bread, eggs, and fruit work for you? Or yogurt, granola, fruit? Coffee or tea?”
This way, the Sitter would then be prompted to review your list and let you know if they are dairy-free, gluten-free, or don’t eat eggs. They might say that they like cereal and milk. Who knows? Oatmeal?
I would also have been annoyed by a long list with specifics, when I was only intending to buy a few essentials.
What is that phrase? “If you give a mouse a muffin?”
Offering a few items is a great idea. And, right, that gives them a chance to say they are gluten-free (etc) and if I am in an appropriate grocery store and feeling particularly generous, I could pick up some gluten-free cookies!
I go to a sit where the week before the owner writes to me to say she is ordering her shopping what can she add that I would like to get me started. I really appreciate that.
As a sitter, depending on my arrival time, I often bring a few items to get me through the first night/morning. I don’t always know what type of coffee set-up to plan for, whole beans, ground beans, filter type, pod type, etc, so I appreciate when there is enough coffee/filters/pods for the first morning until I can get to the market.
That’s brilliant of you @GardenCat, AMAZING! For those owners who go above and beyond with us, we actually love the surprise of not-knowing.
One set of lovely HO’s bought us A LOT of different fresh produce, which was totally fantastic because we could be certain it was all for us, rather than an HO saying “help yourself” and then we’d be polite instead, and only use certain things.
We’ve had homemade banana bread, homemade biscuits, a joint of meat and vegetables, prosecco, and many other things. We’ve been told to helping ourselves to vegetable plots is brilliant too, we love the whole experience of that.
We never expect anything, but it’s lovely when it happens .
Hi @GardenCat
You sound a vert considerate host!
At my current sit the host picked me up at the airport. He told me ahead of time he’d like to cook me a meal for my first night and checked I was ok with the meal and ingredients. He also left me some bread, cheese, eggs and the remaining part of said meal. He offered to take me grocery shopping before departing later in the day. I always find these trips a bit embarrassing as I want to do a weeks worth of shopping sometimes but don’t want a HO feeling compelled to cover all. I just politely declined the offer and went myself.
As @ElsieDownie says, [quote=“ElsieDownie, post:3, topic:60284”]
People have so many allergies and preferences and the food could go to waste. Why not just make sure your store cupboard has staples in it that they can use if needed but won’t be wasted if they don’t.
I much prefer an (almost) empty fridge, a couple of drawers in the freezer for my use and maybe a little room in the pantry or one of the kitchen cupboards.
[/quote]
Also, some sitters arriving without a car might appreciate being taken to a grocery shop fir supplies - I suggest that you make it clear if it’s at their expense or yours - if you are treating them you might consider giving them them a gift card for that store with a set amount on it.
Other sitters might appreciate the Welcome Guide to include details of regular grocery shopping and also speciality food shops.
As you can see, different people appreciate different things but most do appreciate the gesture. I think that sitter’s long, specific list is something rare but you’re probably right in finding a way to prevent that type of response. I like @PVGemini’s suggestion of offering a short selection of items.
I would like to point out that the accessibility to groceries depending on location and time of arrival is very important. If a sit is in the middle of nowhere with few public transport options or sitter arrives late, a few basics for breakfast are almost a given, while if the sit is very close to a supermarket and there’s plenty of time for the sitter to get their own groceries, then many would prefer to get their own stuff.
I agree with this when we have been sitting over holiday periods such as Christmas or New Year or Easter and arriving on a public holiday , hosts have offered to buy in groceries for our first meal and asked our preferences . This was very considerate and appreciated as supermarkets were closed on the public holiday and the small local shops that were open had limited choice and were expensive.
In general, if asked i would tell a host not to worry because i will pick up my own groceries. But for the sit im on now, i arrived on January 1 and all the grocery stores were closed. In that case i would have welcomed the host picking up a few things for our breakfast and lunch - as we were traveling in a combi in Peru with all our luggage on our laps. Putting luggage on a seat or a bag full of groceries would have costed us the price of another seat! We ended up getting a few things at a convenience store after walking to two different grocery stores.
So, i think offering is great. Perhaps, you can say, what can i get you to get you started on breakfast and/or lunch. I would think most people would be able to get out that first day to the store (although i hate leaving the pets that first day).
I’ve had more than one host leave me a $50.00 dollar gift card to their nearest grocery store. That is always so appreciated. I can pick out what I like and it shows me the pet parent is grateful to have you there.
I usually ask if we can pick up some basics like coffee, tea, milk, bread, fruit, and eggs, and I check for any dietary restrictions. We’ve had a few folks who don’t drink wine (or any alcohol) or coffee, so we leave them gift cards or Venmo them instead.
All the sitters have been really grateful for our offer and don’t ask for much. Most of them either bring their own stuff or go grab their own, depending on when they get here. We’ve even taken a couple of them out to dinner because they showed up a day early for our super early flight the next morning.
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