@Kinbyeya If you don’t have her phone number, how is she going to send photos that you will be requiring from her of your pets?? She’s basically blackmailed you into creating a sit for her convenience where you had to cancel the original because of poor weather. I would not feel comfortable having her do this sit.
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You can click on “unconfirm” sitter and delete the dates . Send a simple message that the sit has been cancelled.
I would not usually recommend that a host cancels a sitter and I don’t personally see any of the points you raised as red flags .
However, if you feel this uncomfortable about having this sitter stay, I don’t think this is going to work for either of you . Therefore it’s best that the sit gets cancelled a.s.a.p so that the sitter can start apply for another sit .
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Were I in your shoes, one individuals’s opinion at THS would not alter my course of action.
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Most of these don’t seem like red flags. But if you feel uncomfortable with the sit then cancel. THS can’t force you to host a sitter. You are the one who has communicated with the sitter and if you aren’t getting a good vibe, trust your gut. Better to cancel than have things go bad.
But, looking at these points individually:
- Not sure why this is a red flag, it’s not typical to meet in person before the sit.
- Were kayaks mentioned in your listing?
- I expect the welcome guide to be sent, I would only comment if I had a question about something in it.
- You cancelled your trip and offered to stay in a hotel rather than cancel the sit which is very considerate of you. It’s possible the sitter was also trying to be considerate and thought rescheduling your trip would be better than you just staying in a hotel.
- That’s a request and you can say no. Many sitters occasionally have a family member accompany them. It’s usually mentioned in the initial application, but sometimes they may not know the family member is available. Requesting to have a guest or co-sitter after confirmation is simply asking and most sitters would honor your decision.
- A lot of people want to stick with THS for communication so not necessarily a red flag. However, you should always have another method of contact too. I always provide my WhatsApp number and email address as soon as I confirm a sit.
It’s not really an exceptional circumstance, but sits get cancelled for non-emergency reasons. I’ve had 3 HOs cancel on me for things like they found out a family member could take care of their pet, or they just decided not to take their trip until later in the year.
Just trust your instincts and do what you feel is best.
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Since you already have suggestions regarding your sit, will you please share why them not being willing to drive 30 minutes (one hour roundtrip) to meet was a red flag? Did you offer to meet them instead?
I’m genuinely curious, as I wouldn’t/haven’t. I would consider it for a paid sit but not for an exchange.
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It’s still not entirely clear to me (are they coming on different dates than the original sit or not?). I get why you were generously offering to honor the sit and find a hotel for yourselves, but have a hard time understanding why anyone would agree to a make-up sit, especially when there were red flags with these sitters from the very beginning.
Even if these are somehow still the same dates, I’d cancel.
ETA: I agree with all the others than not traveling 30 min for a meetup is not a red flag. Overall, though, the communication style of these sitters seems to be lacking and incompatible with OP, and that is a red flag.
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How are her/their past reviews?
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Points that would make me feel uncomfortable:
1.
That would be enough for me to cancel the sit unless there’s a logical explanation and another alternative contact apart from THS.
If it was her who proposed the dates, this is really unusual. A sit is only listed when the HO needs to leave their home for some reason, not to accommodate the sitter’s need to go to a particular place.
It seems the sitters live in the area, so there would be no big impact if you cancel the sit. Given the situation, I would if I didn’t feel comfortable. Just this once.
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You are allowed to cancel a sit based on changing your plans. Once they said to “postpone” I assume you officially changed the dates??? The new dates don’t work out for you. Worst case they “dispute” and THS asks you what happened or watches your account.
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I am wondering if you had a video call if you do not have any contact information off of THS. If it were via WhatsApp or FaceTime, seems you would have their number, Zoom I guess not. If I really wasn’t comfortable cancelling, I would send them a nice message saying that you would really like to speak with them and have their contact info prior to the sit. Their response may help you to relax and go forward, or feel better about cancelling.
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Do these sitters LIVE 30 minutes from where you live?
Do they have reviews? That is super weird that they will not give you their phone number. It really makes me wonder what happened in the past, coloring this refusal.
Are they doing this “local” sit in order to get reviews (i.e. they are new)?
I agree with others that you have every right to cancel. Refusal to give phone number should be a reason to cancel. That is so basic. I realize that people can talk on Wifi, i.e. Facetime Audio, but that is used mainly as a last resort, like when a cell signal is poor.
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i have read all the questions and recommendations others have suggested or commented on. This is simple. Just CANCEL THE SIT.
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I’m sitter, not a HO, and I think you should cancel. I can see the red flags. I sit locally and routinely drive more than 30 minutes to meet HOs and their animals, because it is important to me. There’s too much at stake, and you would not enjoy your time away if worrying about your animals and home. Just cancel. 
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I would expect that a cancellation would have far less impact on a sitter who lives only 30 minutes away vs a sitter who has booked travel and multiple sits in the area.
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I just went back into our convo…I DO have a number, but she specifically asked I don’t use it and only use THS…can you not send photos via THS mail???
@Kimbyeya Having a sitter should allow you to go away feeling relaxed and at ease, not dreading it! If you feel like this you will not enjoy your trip, you will worry the whole time, which is counterproductive, so I would just cancel the sitter.
Sounds like you have not had a video call with this sitter so have not ‘met’ properly? If you are reluctant to ‘break the rules’ then request a video call before cancelling. If they refuse that request then cancel the sit, or if you do have the call and still feel bad then cancel. Do not go against your gut feeling! You may live to regret it!
It is not usual to meet before a sit, except at handover time which may include an overnight, so that is not in itself a red flag. But not wishing to use their phone for contact is most unusual. In over 120 sits we have ALWAYS communicated via WhatsApp before & during the sit with the one exception where the HO preferred email for on-sit updates (but we still had an emergancy contact number.)
Ultimately its your home, your pets and your peace of mind at stake. You must do what feels right for you regardless of THS ‘rules’ No one can force you to accept a sitter you now feel uncomfortable with. And no one can force a sitter to proceed either, if things change. We are all free agents.
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I am in agreement on this, other points seem fair, but I also have declined to visit in person before a sit. I would if it was paid, but if I’m already working full time and trying to keep up with the demands of life, this is quite a chunk out of my free time. This is what reviews and video calls are for and it would be great if HO could consider what they’re asking sitters to do for free.
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You’re right…I may be spoiled by the first 4 sits who were very communicative - not one word responses. I am probably getting worked up over nothing. Thanks fo a different perspective.
Thank you Brindle. After reading all the comments, I think I may just be over reacting. The fact she never really talks about our pets got me in a tizzy. I have an elderly dog whom I really want extra TLC. She’s low maintenance, but I need to know a sitter CARES! Thanks fo your support.
Thanks, PV. We were both brand new at the time I accepted her. No reviews for either of us. I jumped the gun and accepted despite her unwillingness to drive 30 min. I won’t do that again! Thanks for your time!