How to deal best with new hosts (i am asking as a pet sitter)

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

We have been pet sitting since 2024 and before that we did house swapping for many years. Over time I noticed a pattern, especially with first timers on both sides of the deal. I am writing this because it might actually be useful to share what works, what doesn’t, and what makes you want to hide under the couch with the cat.

A friend of mine had two agreements fall through at the last minute due to illness, and when I asked, the cancellations were all from first timers. Also with first timers: last minute calls to shift the arrival date and time, sometimes more than once. We are pretty flexible and have a “yes whenever possible” attitude, simply because it works and brings us joy most of the time. Bought a ticket for something or does it cost a lot of money for us? Then it’s a no. Simple.

Some people get frustrated when a first timer starts micro managing. “How can they not trust me, I have 50 five star reviews!” I get it. But those five stars reflect other people’s experience, not yours. Trust takes time and sometimes it needs a human being in the room first. I have a soft spot for micro managers anyway. My partner worked for an oil company where micro managing is basically the job description. He sometimes brings it home. Great when he is cooking. Less great when we are wandering through a village looking for coffee and he has already mapped three routes with no room for joyful surprises.

Recently I connected with a host whose dates didn’t match ours, just to say hi. It would actually be great if TrustedHousesitters created some kind of hub where hosts and sitters can stay in touch for a future sit. Anyway, she immediately said she was a micro manager and honestly that felt fine, because she knew it herself. I have no problem with that as long as there is a little room for being human. Fodo goes out at 7am for half an hour. We might leave at 7:05 for 40 minutes if Fodo is feeling it. My macro goal: keep Fodo alive, happy, and the house in one piece. I might send the host a photo of Fodo saying that Fodo got late today, but tomorrow will be at 7 again.

So the short version for dealing with nerves and worries: confirm you heard it, say you are taking care of it, and move on. If someone is so anxious they repeat the same worry three times, stay calm and reflect their exact words back. Not a summary. Their actual words. It tells them their brain can relax now.

We recently got a full briefing on a 'complicated’:rooster::wink: chicken situation: multiple buckets, bins, cans and stored food all over the place. We asked if we could record it. They said yes. Problem solved, no stress, no “wait which bin was the food for the hens again” at 5 am.

One more thing: jokes. I take responsibility seriously ánd I make jokes. These two things live happily together in my head. With first timers I dial it back a little because their nervous system is not quite ready for someone who will absolutely step in front of an aggressive stray dog to protect the pets AND make a pun about it afterwards. It is a learning curve. Though honestly, if someone is extremely serious about everything, we are probably not a match anyway. And yes, there is also a cultural dimension to all of this.

So, hosts and sitters: what are your stories, tips and hard-learned lessons on how to deal with first-time hosts?

Christine met Patcho
Christine met Patcho1748×1240 414 KB

This is me with Patcho on the porch. He takes his time deciding if you are worth trusting, and honestly, fair enough. But once he does, it is pure joy.

2

As a house sitter of 12 years, I routinely do sits for first time hosts. For me personally, my experience with them has never been materially different than more experienced ones

But a couple of things I would say generally about helping create a smooth experience on the sitter end…

If sitters experience anything on a sit that they’re concerned may happen again in the future–such as something a first-time host did that they’re worried another first time host could do too,–it’s a good idea to explicitly discuss whatever particular issue that is prior to confirming future sits so they can put their mind at ease if this was something that they would have been worrying about happening again on another sit.

Likewise, if there are things that they feel are important to know or discuss beforehand, such a certain preferences or requirements o theirs or of the host, this is something else they should discuss explicitly before confirming.

If sitters are concerned that first time hosts in particular may be unaware of certain rules or may be more likely to do certain things, then again they should discuss this so everyone is on the same page.

Again, just speaking on this generally, I see a lot of sitters here post about encountering certain problems multiple times and they’re often ones that could easily be avoided with a couple of questions prior to confirmation, such as whether the host will be spending the night the day they arrive, arrival and departure times and things of that nature.

I know some sitters don’t sit for first time hosts as a rule and everyone needs to do what makes them feel most comfortable. But like I said earlier, for me personally this has never been an issue.

3

One thing I learned after hosting my first sit, is I won’t ever do a blind hand over again. I have a dog and the funny thing is my husband and I argued over letting a stranger in our home without meeting first. The sitter was hours late and it was late at night and raining! My dog was very nervous about this. At the end of the sit, my dog was fine with the sitter and it worked out. But that first night was tough.

4

As a sitter I don’t think I would ever do a dog sit with a blind handover.

5

@KC1102 Thanks for your contribution. I wonder if some of the challenges might simply come down to differences in communication styles.

Some people, whether hosts or pet sitters, are naturally more direct about expressing what they want and asking what the other person needs. Something as simple as, ‘How many photos per day would you like?’ Examen: Our host- now - in Costs Rica asks us when he goes to the store if we need something and we help him also when we can.

It sounds like you’re comfortable communicating that way. I’m much the same. I’m not afraid to ask what is needed, rather than making assumptions, and I like looking for what I call win-win solutions.

I wonder how much communication style plays a role in these situations. What do you think?

6

It is very individual— over 40 sits as a sitter, I have only done 3-4 in-person handovers. :hugs:

7

Gosh are we related maybe? I feel like I was ticking :check_mark: and laughing at the end of each sentence- especially the Oil industry micro manager husband (being highly risk averse somewhat important where Oil Rigs are concerned!)

8

@avidtraveler May I ask what the context of this situation was? Was the dog going to be alone on the day the sitter was due to arrive? And how far was the sitter travelling from?

When people are travelling, delays can happen. That is why many people choose to have the sitter arrive the day before and stay overnight while the hosts are still at home, although of course that is easier when there is enough space in the house for everyone.

Not everyone feels comfortable having someone stay overnight before the sit starts, which is also why many people choose to have a video call beforehand to get to know each other and discuss the practicalities.

It’s good that you’ve discovered what works best for you.

9

@BonnyinBrighton :joy: Who knows! My ancestors are from northern Scandinavia and Europe. I’ve never met you in person, but I’m absolutely sure that your home and pets will be in very good hands with you and your husband :+1::heart_eyes:

10

Sooooo annoying not to be able to correct a autocorrect :laughing::smiling_face_with_sunglasses::face_with_spiral_eyes::woman_in_lotus_position:’Examen’ instead of ‘Example’ :woman_in_lotus_position::woman_in_lotus_position::woman_in_lotus_position::woman_in_lotus_position::woman_in_lotus_position:

11

I’d like to add one more thought to this question.

Something I’ve realised I do almost automatically nowadays is that when I receive a message and can’t reply properly straight away, I don’t just say, ‘I’ll get back to you later.’ I try to be specific about when I’ll reply.

For example: ‘I’m not in a position to give you a proper answer right now, but I’ll get back to you within eight hours’, or ‘I’ll reply within 24 hours.’ I choose a timeframe in which I know I’ll realistically have the time to respond, and then I make sure I keep that commitment, preferably replying even earlier.

I’ve noticed that this reduces my own stress. Instead of having that little voice in my head saying, ‘Oh, I still need to reply!’, I know I’ve made a clear agreement about when I’ll do it.

And I think it reduces stress for the other person too. They’re not left wondering when or whether they’ll hear back. Over time it also builds trust: ‘Ah yes, Christine said she would reply within that timeframe, and she does.’

On a practical level, I simply set an alarm on my phone for a specific time and put the person’s name in it as a reminder that I still need to reply.

It’s a very simple little system, but I find it works really well. Less pressure for me, more clarity for the other person, and hopefully a little less stress on both sides.

12

Good topic. I’m new (host?) and feel lost a lot of the time. Often worried I will not do something correctly in the process of posting, inviting, etc.

13

I think it depends on the attitude and communication style of the hosts, together with the temperament of the dog(s). We’ve done a few blind handovers, where we’ve been greeted enthusiastically by wagging tail, full-body wiggling lovelies. The owners know their dogs best, and we’re guided by that.

14

Great, I was just saying it is not something I would do. We all have our preferences.

15

Invite them to ask any questions they may have for us, or about the exchange. Be open and approachable, both before and during the sit.

16

@Twitcher, I’m like you. No blind handover for me with dogs unless it is a repeat sit but even then, I usually meet the hosts as we want to catch up!

17

Yes, that is the generally positive attitude. But could you be more specific about how this can be achieved in practice? For example, a sitter may openly ask whether the cameras can be turned off while they are sitting by the pool. The answer may not simply be “no.” The sitter might even be rejected for daring to ask the question. Fear of situations like this is one reason sitters are not always completely open, which can lead to uncomfortable interactions.

How can we prevent this and encourage hosts and sitters to create a mutually beneficial arrangement together? It is important to acknowledge that open communication only works when people feel safe enough to ask questions without being judged or rejected simply for raising a concern.

How do you do this?

18

Thank you for acknowledging this. One of the challenges of this forum is that everyone, both hosts and pet sitters, naturally wants to present their best side. I do too, of course. At the same time, arranging a successful sit requires a high level of trust and honest communication, so people should also feel comfortable asking questions or admitting when they are unsure about something.

Is there anything specific you need help with right now? TrustedHousesitters also has a help desk for questions. I believe you can reach them on +44 808 178 0207, but perhaps the forum team can correct me if that is not the right number.

19

Of course! Thanks for joining the conversation and sharing your preferences. Totally understandable!

And just to add another perspective: sometimes, due to personal circumstances, people simply aren’t in a position to meet beforehand. In those cases, you have to assess whether a pet sitter is a good match in a different way, for example through a video call.

20

@EmilyDickinson it was our very first sit. My dog was with a neighbor for the day. We asked our sitter to come the night before to stay with us because he was doing a long drive and the traffic is terrible. He didn’t want to do that. Of course the traffic was bad and he was 5 hours late. I almost flew home the next day if our dog was still a nervous wreck. We had our neighbor bring their dog over to play with our dog while the sitter was there and my dog was ok after that.

We have a good size house and the sitter has their own bedroom and bathroom, so there’s no sharing with us. All of our sitters since this first sit have stayed the night before.

We learned that our dog needs to meet the sitter when we are at home. Never had a problem after that. If you think about it, the dog doesn’t know a sitter from a burglar, especially late at night.