Leaving a sit early - advice needed

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Hey guys! So I’m looking for advice on how to handle a situation.

I’ve been dealing with a dental issue for the past couple of months. I finally found a good dentist I trust that’s about 5h away from where I’m sitting.

I agreed to this sit about 2 months before the starting date. Was in constant communication with HO and everything was great.

About 2 weeks prior to the sit I had really bad toothache and had to get to the dentist. She did a treatment, but the situation wasn’t fully resolved and I would be in observation.

I told the HO I wanted to cancel the sit, bcs I was in a lot of pain, and didn’t know when I had to see the dentist again (timing was uncertain, it could be between 2 weeks and 3 months, it all depended on the evolution of my issue).

HO freaked out - said she had flights, hotel and everything booked in Europe. Said she wouldn’t find someone, especially bcs it was a lengthy sit. She said I had already committed to this.

I started feeling better and decided to go on with it. But, with the expectation that I may have to leave for a couple days if I needed to see the dentist.

I’m 2 weeks into the sit and my tooth is giving me trouble :sob:. The dentist said I need a cone beam scan, and then to go see her.

I don’t feel comfortable continuing the sit, as I may need to see the dentist more than once and I don’t want to be traveling 5h back and forth. Also bcs of the travel expense on top of having to pay for my treatment.

If I knew it was just going to be one dentist appointment, then I could just go and come back. But treatment would depend on whatever comes up on the scan, and I may need more than one dentist visit.

I feel more comfortable leaving the sit, and hope the HO find someone else. But of course, from HO perspective, this will be very stressful.

I haven’t told the HO, but I wanted to post here first to see if you guys have any other ideas and/or advice on how I could handle the situation.

Also,

  • Would asking HO to help with travel costs in case I continue with the sit be reasonable?
  • How much notice should I give? I’m thinking I could hold out 1 week. I want to see the dentist ASAP to avoid further complication and don’t want to postpone this any longer.
  • Do you guys have any other ideas apart from A) me leaving, B) seeing the dentist, coming back and then seeing what happens, with the expectation that I may leave again (I really don’t want to do this)

Thanks in advance.

(Post edited by the Forum Team to comply with the Terms of Service).

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So, you’re basically saying that your dental issue started at around the same time as you agreed this sit, some 2 months ago? But you didn’t get appointments sorted out then?

Frankly, if you knew you had some dental problems which would need attention, then I feel you should possibly have not accepted the sit (or have cancelled a month or two ago if you’d already confirmed), to give the pet parents time to organise another sitter. When your dental issue developed into really bad toothache some 2 weeks before commencement of the sit, that was surely another opportunity to cancel. Whilst it would have been stressful for the PP, it’s nowhere near as bad as leaving a lengthy sit just 2 weeks in. Are you a solo sitter?

No, I don’t think it would be reasonable. This is your responsibility, not theirs.

Sorry if this sounds heartless. Whilst I do understand that toothache can be horrendous, it seems you’ve had plenty of prior-warning about what was to come, so to commit to a lengthy sit so far from your dentist does seem like you were taking a chance, and it’s now backfired.

Could you possibly get some oil of cloves to help you deal with the discomfort, and see an emergency dentist, nearby, but schedule the treatment for when you’re back in the area in 6 weeks time?

If you do decide to leave the sit - and it sounds as if you’ve pretty much made up your mind to do so - the pet parents will have to activate their ‘Plan B’ (which both sitters and PPs should have in place, just in case). Their emergency contact can then potentially assist in finding a new sitter. It’s usual to give 24 hours notice if it’s necessary to leave in an emergency, so if you can possibly hang on for longer than that I guess you’d be helping them out. My question would be, can you actually arrange dental appointments at such short notice, anyhow? Wouldn’t that be the determining factor in how much notice you can give?

(Post edited by the Forum Team to comply with the Terms of Service).

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3

Can you not find a much closer dentist to go to? I was on a house sit once and a crown came off. I just googled dentists in the area and went private, to one a five min drive away and had it fixed the same day. I would not have dreamt of abandoning a sit due to a tooth problem. And i would certainly not drive for 5 hours to a dentist. Surely there are closer ones?

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4

My first thought is - where is this sit located? If it’s in a popular sought after location, then I would discuss the homeowners immediately reposting the sit to find someone to replace you asap. What type of pet(s)? Could a neighbour possibly step in to help out?

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5

Look after your health first and discuss a solution with the owner. I hope you feel better soon!

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6

A dog and 2 cats. It’s quite sought after so I don’t think it will be hard to find someone.

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7

I’ve already been to 4 different dentists and nobody could help the situation, until I found a holistic dentist that started treatment. I want to continue treatment with her, and not any random dentist I find.

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8

I’ve been dealing with this dental issue for about 7 months. Thought it was resolved but flared up again 2 weeks prior to the actual sit, which is when I tried to cancel, but HO asked me to go on with it bcs she couldn’t find another sitter. I was feeling better, so I agreed with the caveat that I might need to leave in case anything came up. I still need to make appointments for the scan and dentist, but I wanted to get opinions and POV prior to speaking with HO.

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9

And I honestly don’t want to go with some random dentist I find. I want to continue treatment with the one I have.

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10

One alternative: Do the 5hr drive to the one appt. HO already knows this was a possibility and will need to get emergency coverage for pets. Then return to the sit and wait to see what the next steps are. It may easily take time. I know my dental work is a lot of waiting in between visits. If you know you need to get treatment again soon, then talk to HO about leaving early. Either way, be prepared for an unfavorable review.

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11

I would definitely approach the homeowners asap then and see if another sitter can be found. Perhaps someone else who applied originally may still be interested. As others have said, your health comes first - good luck!

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12

How much longer is the sit? Also, you said you need a scan first. You can go get a scan closer. Just arrange for the scan in a closer location. I was having dental work done over 10 months, at the U of Detroit dental clinic. Find a place like that. They can do a scan.

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13

Could you bring pets with you? Are you going back to your home town, that you could keep pets by you till your better. Or possibly get a sitter in the days you will be gone. Have you told your situation to your dentist? Ask if they can work something out where you can get this all taken care of in a day or so.

14

This sounds reasonable, thanks.

15

It’s one month + 1 week more

16

I definitely can’t bring the pets. One dog and 2 cats, and I have no car here. Plus, I can’t have them at my home bcs there’s a dog there. But thanks. I think the best option may be to just do the trip and hopefully have everything resolved in a day or two. And then come back.

17

Thank you!

18

Well the risk is getting a bad review vs waiting the week, getting the scan local. Weigh your options.

19

I think you should discuss with the HO as soon as possible. If it is a desirable sit the HO should be able to change the end date of your sit and post a new last minute sit for the remaining time. If you could hold off a week, that would give them time to post and find a new sitter.

I think you also need to take responsibility for discussing with your dentist what your needs are. So if you could get what is needed done and return to complete the sit in a week that would make sense. It would also leave the homeowner more options such as hiring someone for a week, friend, relative, etc versus getting a new sitter.

From the way you are describing the situation, I don’t think the homeowner is going to be open to helping you with the travel expenses. You might need to gentle remind them that you wanted to cancel because of the upcoming medical issues but didn’t but the issues do need to be addressed. You could also simply let them know you can’t continue. That choice is yours.

I don’t know how you are traveling – bus, train, car, etc. But it seems to me that having to leave more than once could be tricky, so I’d recommend having a plan before you present it to the homeowner, and deciding what you are and aren’t willing to do.

If they have premium they would be able minus a deductible to hire someone. If they are in a desirable location, they can probably find another sitter even with relatively short notice. Having to chat and vet people while away isn’t ideal, but it can certainly be done.

Your leaving for treatment is necessary, but the situation isn’t a crisis. If you left one time for a couple of days, they could certainly make another arrangement. They might not be crazy about helping you to come back, but it would be fair.

20

I have decided to do the 5h drive to see the dentist and come back to the sit. I will leave Friday morning and come back Saturday evening, so it won’t be very long. There is a person who will come to feed the pets and walk the dog while I’m away.

I hope I don’t have to do any more visits and finish the sit.

Thanks everyone.

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