I was just organising a sit when the HO told me they’ve become great friends with the previous sitters and have been to concerts together.
I was wondering how some of you manage this? For the most part it’s been a quick hello, house tour and goodbye in my experience. Or I don’t meet the HO at all.
I hate to think I’m missing out on opportunities to connect or I’m being too ‘professional’ when sitting.
Sometimes you just get a great connection. We are currently on a sit (the owners are no longer members of THS). We have been caring for their dog on a regular basis for ten years and it feels like our second home.
They are very appreciative and have become great friends. We have stayed in their other properties as well (no pet care needed).
We are also in regular contact with 4 other homeowners who we regard as friends. Some others sits we would not return to and although they went really well we had no desire to stay in touch or return.
I think it depends on many factors but especially if you actually meet the hosts! I’ suspect the times where ongoing relationships are forged is when the host and sitter spend a reasonable amount of time together perhaps by staying the night before and sharing a meal?
We’ve been lucky in that while we aren’t close friends with any of our past sitters we often have the same sitters back and know that if we approach them and they can do the dates they will. It’s a mixture of how we got on when we were together and the sitters liking where we stay and our pets not to mention where they live as well.
How did you become friends with those 4? I’ve had a few reach out with pics of their pups a few weeks/months later but beyond that how is the friendship forged?
I guess as suggested above, we spent time together pre or post sit, perhaps they hosted or we went out for a meal. We may have interests in common and possibly met their family members.
I would drop them a line from time to time to tell them what we are up to (if they seemed interested) and if we sat a similar breed of pet to theirs I would send a pic. They are on my Xmas card list but if things tail off as they often do it’s not an issue. There is nothing forced and I just do what feels natural to me.
I am friends with quite a few owners mainly because they have been happy with me and ask if I will come again. This has now stretched over several years and pets. Mainly in Covid people kept in touch by email, shared what was happening, checked I was ok as I live by myself. I mainly apply for sits with people of a similar age, so we have things in common. I am happy to meet the night before and share a meal. People book me way ahead asking me when I am free so they book their holiday and send me an invite so it’s not advertised. When I go it’s as a friend. I’ve been offered a bed for the night if passing, I often pop in for tea and cake if I am in the area and we exchange photos on Whatsapp. This has been an unexpected bonus of being in THS
@petcrazy2, there is no “right” answer here.
We find that PP lifestyle, objectives and values vary a great deal.
Some PP seem transactional - we meet or not meet them; we fulfill duties and leave; done.
Most of the PP we have encountered are not like this. Perhaps as we prefer those that seek some form of engagement - a meal, a day handover, some conversation. We’ve very much enjoyed spending time with many PP. We find that some PP are regular travelers and so seek housesitters that they want to invite back so are motivated to invest some time. To that end, we keep in touch periodically with some PP. Several PP that have asked us to let them know if we plan to return to their area as they’ll book a trip - that results from engagement beyond hi-goodbye.
That said, we’ve never gone on social engagements with PP. That seems atypical.
Whatever makes you happy. We try to treat PP as people and hope that they treat us as people. Perhaps next time experiment and try a more engaging approach and see if you like it.
Well, we’re all different. I have become ‘friends’ with a few owners, visited them if I’m in their area and some of them have told me that if I’m in their area and need a bed that I’m welcome to stay. These connections have usually been made because I may have stayed the night before they left, had dinner with them and had good conversations. You can’t connect with everyone and some, as you say, have been a quick hello and quick tour.
This isn’t a “professional” service. I love good boundaries, but it’s weird when you are basically a houseguest and keeping too much distance. From sitters: I’ve been offered discount opera tickets by a sitter who works at the opera and DECLINED my sit! (He said yes one he chatted with before mine and was very transparent.) I’ve had a young sitter call me to ask if I had any emergnecy period products. I didn’t but laughed and told her that shipped sailed. An artist left me a sketch. One sitter who’s been here twice often chats with me on WhatsApp about what’s good at the opera and theater.
Most sits are remote handovers (I’ve got cats) but I have taken at least one sitter out for dinner mostly because I wanted to hear about her partner’s thesis even though the partner wound up not coming!
As a sitter, I feel like I’ve gotten to know some hosts better than others.
There is often remote chatting on WhatsApp!
It’s all good.
Personally, I’ve been friendly, but not friends, with hosts. I’m selective and consider few people friends. Hosts have invited me to stay extra or to return even without a sit, but I rarely accept repeats.
We’ve made some wonderful friends through THS, both owners and sitters. You just know when you “click” and you find your tribe. We have had common loves of travel, food & wine. We have kept in touch in the way friends do, mostly via WhatsApp calls as we are from opposite ends of the world. We holidayed with two lots of these friends overseas and we had terrific times with them. So much so, I’m flying out soon to visit them again for Christmas.
We’ve made great friends with some. For ourselves, I only apply to those profiles that I read where I feel instantly connected to them already, like I already know them, and subsequently they get the same vibe about us.
Weirdly, we seem to have a lot more in common with some of the pet parents we sit for, than we do with close family/friends. It’s weird to say that, but it’s true. They understand our lives more, they understand the limitations of the Schengen rules, they have close family ties in multiple countries, they have grown up kids who live elsewhere, etc.
So they talk the same language if you know what I mean. Plus, we return to sit for them too, so bonds get stronger that way too.
In my experience, it really depends on whether it’s a long sit or a short sit. With short sits, it’s usually a very practical, frugal kind of “relationship.” While we always like to keep in touch with the host, sending photos, sharing little stories about their pet, or just reassuring them that everything is going smoothly, there usually isn’t enough time to really build a friendship.
But with long sits, more than a month, it’s a much deeper experience, especially if something comes up during that time that has you communicating daily. Sometimes, you just feel a special connection with the hosts and discover you have a lot in common.
Also, things also change when both the host and sitter are looking for a recurring sit. In those cases, there’s often a stronger intention to connect, and a friendship can easily develop.
For me, it’s a bit like working life. After many years working in the same place, you might develop friendships with some colleagues, but of course not with everyone.
That said, I think it’s something that can never be forced, and when it is, it usually doesn’t work out well.
Well said. And not all of these interactions go well. We’re still friendly with our first sitter who did an excellent job with our property and pets, whereas in the case of the second, I couldn’t get her to the train station fast enough.
We had a great connection with home owners of our very first sit almost 4 years ago which was in London although we lived abroad in Barcelona. We have since moved back to the UK and regularly meet with this couple as we now also live in London. I really didn’t expect this to happen but we just seemed to ‘click’ and we’ve become firm friends who eat out, go to exhibitions and films together and meet each others adult children when they are around. A real unexpected bonus from the house sitting experience.
As in all aspects of life if you discover a common interest , conversations naturally flow which may lead to friendships . It’s not contrived or forced.
With hosts and sitters this may come about from conversations, pre , during or after the house sit . Or from seeing their bookshelf , their displayed photos, music collection, or photos they share on theirWhatsApp status .
The interest that most THS members have in common is travel .You may have travelled to or be planning to travel to the same countries and share travel tips or recommendations.
We naturally show an interest in where hosts are travelling to and conversations come about from that . One appreciate host was travelling abroad to visit their parents .
They asked if we’d ever been to that country and when we told them it was on our wish list of places to go - they invited us to stay at their families hotel there and offered to be our guides if we visited .
Most of my sits have been confirmed very far in advance (to other countries from my own) which has opened a window of on-going communication after the initial zoom, and built closer relationships, too, I think.
Just staying in touch via WhatsApp to keep both sides assured this sit is really a priority for both sides, seems necessary when there are 6-8 months between meeting and actually being there!
For one thing, you have being “planners” in common right away; but I also only look at sits from people who “feel” (through their pics and writing style & reviews) like someone I would LIKE to meet.
Life and travel, for me, is all about ‘connection’ and not transactional — so I guess that is what I look for. I would say I have obtained 1 “friend” in my 2.5 years sitting & 20 sits, and another half dozen “friendly acquaintances” with whom we would choose each other in a heartbeat if I was in their country and they needed a sitter (& whom have offered me lodging & companionship even if they were home).
Although I would be unlikely to take them up on it, it feels like a hug 
(as do Colin & Karyo).
As I said, it is all about connection for me, so I look for that.
I’m on a sit now and it feels like I’m staying in an old friend’s house. It’s my 4th visit. I feel I know the owners well now and even went swimming with them.
We had a similar experience as Twitcher described. It was one of our very first house sits 10 years ago which was a local sit but we lived an hour out of the city. We were concerned as it was a month long sit but we loved the home, location and especially the dog. The homeowners were so pleased with us that they never wanted other sitters so would plan their vacations around our availability. We became great friends and in between sits would get together for dinners. Sadly, their dog passed away a couple of years ago but we still remain great friends. We also moved back to the city so live close by the homeowners.
We too, have become very close friends with several homeowners. This is definitely one of the best perks of THS! Of course, you will not make these types of connections with every one, but when it works, it’s wonderful.
Just as you may do with someone you meet and immediately like, we’ve kept in touch with several homeowners via Whats App and follow one another’s social media accounts. We love getting pics & updates on the pets and sharing our lives with those whom have opened their homes to us. We’ve told numerous homeowners that if they are ever in the area, our door is always open!