Malicious and unjust negative review from owner

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
21

I understand your frustration and feel sorry that you went thorough what seems a very unpleasant sitting regarding the owner’s communication style and the unwelcoming, not clean house. It’s only natural that you want to share that frustration on the forum.
But I am afraid that what you have shared about the owner’s review, which is exactly what you want to be “corrected” by TH, does not go beyond your emotions. You have not explained why the review is “factually inaccurate”. With due respect, your own account of your review history seems a bit inaccurate. Although not contradictory, it seems a bit strange to choose these two different wordings for the same fact:

I understand we get emotional and can’t be 100% factual and accurate all the time and that shows in the way we communicate and in our reviews but THS can only act based on proven facts that break their T&Cs.

They have to protect both sitters and owners if they are victims of terms violations, “entitlement” is a trait of character beyond THS’s control, I’m afraid.

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22

Thanks for your response and understanding.

The point is that she did make a mistake (had obviously forgotten on my agreed leaving time), which is what I tried to communicate to THS. Despite completing the sit perfectly well, my credibility should not have to have been tainted due to her error (and inability to take responsibility for it). I agree re a proper investigation, which is why I was disappointed that this did not happen when I raised it with THS.

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23

It seems you’ve assumed I didn’t even try. I absolutely did my best to try and dig that hole and like another user has mentioned, also got to about 30cm and physically could not go any further. Given all of the other circumstances I have mentioned — and which are the main focus of my post — not the chicken incident, I would certainly judge the ask, it is absolutely outside of what is a reasonable pet sitting responsibility.

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24

I asked if anyone else had a similar experience and what did they did about it, not to have my words unnecessarily picked apart.

The factually inaccurate part of her review was stating that I left at a different time than agreed. And the fact that she gave me a 1 star review despite me going above and beyond and successfully completing the sit, as I always do. It was done with the intention to cause harm.

I think it’s important to be emotional, this clearly matters a lot to me.

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25

Which is exactly what I did — I did bury it for them, despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable about it and like it was physically impossible (as well as hurting my back in process).

Asking someone to dig a 1 metre deep hole is absolutely outside of the normal housesitting responsibilities.

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26

Exactly - that was exactly what happened to me too!

27

Thanks for your reply and advice, 100% making sure they send the welcome guide ahead of the sit. How do you cancel sits that have already been confirmed? I thought PO only had the power to do that?

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28

That is correct. But any homeowner who’s in their right mind will cancel the sit if you tell them you can’t come. Their risk is too high.

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29

If you want THS to investigate / You need to raise a member dispute and then provide evidence for them to investigate. ( such as screenshots of messages )

The process is explained here

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30

Oh thanks, @Silversitters - I was about to ask whether there wasn’t a process for disputing reviews. So much wisdom here!

31

I am sorry if my post sounded judgmental. I don’t want to judge your experience or emotions, I am just trying to point out that THS community is made up from both HOs and sitters and we both refer to THS for protection. That protection can only come when communication is clear and it is supported by some kind of evidence (screenshots, documents, etc)

There’s nothing wrong with being emotional but there are times when, in order to be effective, we need to take some time to let things settle and get to the facts as clearly as we can.
In your original post, you didn’t mention factual information which is very important to “make your case”
For example, you said that you were “shocked” (emotion) when the owner asked you to dig the hole but you didn’t mention that you tried your best and hurt your back in the process. That is a fact. There are other examples of that emotional interference with effective communication in your OP but the one I find most relevant is this:

That is even more frustrating than I could ever have imagined. According to your first description of the facts, this is not only inaccurate, it is the exact opposite of what really happened. It is true that the sit didn’t end when it was initially planned, but it was not because you abandoned the sit, as it seems to be suggested by the owner, it was because the owner herself asked you to alter the date and you agreed. This owner sounds like a really unreasonable and selfish owner.

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32

Member dispute process is not for disputing reviews but it is for raising a serious complaint about another member - you present evidence - THS investigates - the person being investigated can present their side of the story and any evidence to back it up .
After an investigation THS can remove a member from the platform if there is evidence of seriously breaking the T&Cs .

Some examples where this has happened are sitters abandoning pets and homes that are unliveable. Read attached threads for more information

https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/malicious-1-review

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33

You can ask the owner but if they don’t, you can ask THS, explaining that the owner has not shared the WG, which they have to and that your demand to cancel has been unattended by the owner.
That way your calendar gets cleared and you don’t risk getting a bad review. If the cancellation happens after the sit has actually started, then everything is more difficult and you get the review, which with an unreasonable person is not going to be very good.
That’s why @Maggie8K’s method is great. She’s also a master of unemotional, effective communication.
I want to communicate like her when I grow up. Except that I am older than her already :rofl: :rofl:

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34

Well, then should get going with the growing up! But yeah, I second that, Maggie’s insights are enlightening.

@Silversitters - oh, so I misunderstood. Is there in fact no way to dispute reviews and have them, e.g., removed? For both HOs and sitters good reviews are currency.

35

I don’t think so. I think the only tool is contesting the review. That can only be done once but it doesn’t have an “expiry date” I think. Hence the importance of wording. It can really help others understand what may be behind an unfair review.

36

Thanks. I misunderstood this, this is what I did (and referred to in my original post when I said I’d contacted THS - I provided screenshots of our Whatsapp conversation confirming timings to THS). They didn’t take it forward. I appealed. They sent me the same email. My post was expressing disappointment that despite providing evidence they didn’t remove the review. That was basically why I decided to come onto the forum to get some opinions and see if others had experienced something similar.

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37

It’s a shame that sitters feel they have to equate their stars to a credit score, which Americans obsess about. (I don’t assume you’re from the US but I am. I’ve lived in Europe for 30+ years and credit scores weren’t quite as huge a deal when I left.) As a host, when I see a review that rated an otherwise exemplary sitter poorly I assume the problem lay with the owner. So I hope you replied to her review calmly and reviewed her factually and dispassionately. You’ll get past this!

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38

@Newpetlover Actually, a Welcome Guide is not mandatory. So you can agree to a Sit and then not have a Welcome Guide / Notes sent, writing out what was discussed and what is being agreed to. A HO can then leave their demands/requests for your arrival, so you’re walking into a situation you did not know you were agreeing to. A Welcome Guide (or email or Google doc) should be required and be considered “the agreement.”

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39

Maybe you’re right about the WG not being mandatory but there’s at least room for discussion, given this:

.5.2.8. ensure that the details in your Welcome Guide are accurate and up to date in advance of the start of the *Sit ;

I think it’s not mentioned as being compulsory but it is clearly stated that is should be updated in advance , which clearly excludes the nonexistence of the guide and the notes during handover.
I completely agree it should be more clearly

For the purpose of @HE_tea question regarding sitters’ cancellations, I think I’ve read some cases of sitters getting the sits cancelled through THS because the lack of WG.
Curiously enough, while referring to THS T&Cs now, I found something I was not aware of:

5. REQUIREMENTS OF PET PARENTS AND SITTERS

5.1.13. respond to communications from other Members in a timely manner, but in any event, within 72 hours;

I guess this article could also be invoked and, if a sitter that has confirmed a sit and required a WG does not get an answer in 72 hours, this would be grounds for THS cancellation of that sit.

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40

Each sitter has to decide for themselves how to interpret grey areas of THS. That’s true of many things in life beyond sitting.

For me, I will always have boundaries and not be willing to let people take advantage of me, whether sitting or otherwise. Some people hesitate to do that, focusing on how hard or awkward that would be.

What I’d say is, step back and consider how unnecessarily unpleasant life can be if you let unscrupulous people take advantage of you and you realize that you let them, because you didn’t stand up for yourself. To me, that makes it a purely logical and obvious choice.

Plus, it can be done without getting ugly or aggressive. It can be neutral, matter of fact or friendly. If you’ve not practiced it, maybe it can be hard at first, but I guarantee that you can get good at it. And if you practice it, you’ll end up wondering why you didn’t do it for yourself sooner.

As for THS specifically, I’m never going to pay and let anyone exploit me. If it came down to it, I’d rather never sit again than let that happen. That’s a boundary I wouldn’t compromise or allow anyone to cross.

When I say I won’t sit without a welcome guide, it’s not been a problem. I’ve never been anything but friendly about it. Haven’t had to be at all. If it ever became a problem, that would be red flag to me of a potential host who makes it an issue, who doesn’t want to do their share to help set us up for a good sit.

Why shouldn’t they care about how their pets and home are cared for? Why shouldn’t they provide info about such? If writing that down or otherwise capturing such, like on video, is such a hardship, what does that say about how little they care about the sit and their sitters? I have absolutely no interest in sitting under such circumstances. To me, why should any sitter allow that?

Some sitters might not care. Their choice. But what often unfolds from such are tales of sits gone wrong. And it’s easy for such things to repeat for such folks, because unscrupulous, entitled or unreasonable people tend to gravitate toward easier targets. They don’t typically try much, if anything, with people who stick up for themselves, because they realize that they’re not going to get anywhere.

Remember, people like that probably didn’t start doing it yesterday — they’ve had practice. They know with whom and when they’re likelier to get away with crap. They read who’s more likely to enable them vs. not. I’d suggest not enabling them.

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