I’m on the last day of a sit. It’s all gone great until today and I’m now really sad and stressed about my review.
The fancy coffee machine decided to stop working this morning so I spent a long time cleaning it to fix it. It’s working again but I’m really behind now.
I need the bathroom when stressed when I had to run up to the loo, I knocked over the stand up vacuum cleaner which broke the tube. A replacement will be 60 pounds which obviously I’ll have to pay for.
Last year we had a horrible lying review about cleaning and now I’m doubly stressed about leaving a sit and I go above and beyond. I’ve basically done a deep clean and I’ve been working for days getting everything ready. I’m exhausted. I clean as I go but in some homes it seems that dust just appears again as soon as you clean a surface so you have to wait until the last day to fully leave it clean.
I’m sitting on the loo crying and wondering why I do this.
That hateful owner last year has really soured my THS experience. I love animals, I’m really careful and respectful. I know accidents happen but when you’re in someone’s home it feels so much worse.
Just need some moral support from other sitters who know how I feel.
Hugs to you! Take deep calming breaths. Something is bound to happen on a sit. Don’t be hard on yourself and its time to let the unkind review go. Poof! Its gone. Now tidy up, enjoy the pets and smile. Maybe call a friend or family member who can make you laugh.
Be honest about what happened to the host. I’m a host myself and know that sometimes things can go wrong. I don’t even think of charging a sitter for something broken, unless it would have been caused by obvious reckless behavior, which had never occured here until now. Accidents happen to me too. But an absolute bummer for me is to find some damage after the sitter left without mentioning it. Hosting and sitting for me is all about trust and honesty. I’m convinced that there are more friendly people than hateful people. Of course I don’t know your present host, so I can’t guarantee. If they are like that other host you mentioned, nothing will work. But in general, most people will apreciate when you are open about what happened and show you feel sad about it.
Contact the HO and confess about the vacuum cleaner, and say you will pay for it. Accidents happen. As long as the house is clean and the pets are OK, nothing else to worry about.
Second - the most important thing is to be kind to yourself.
Yes, there was one bad review. What about the good reviews? Start a file of compliments and good reviews, and look at those regularly. After looking at a negative review once and only once, never look at it again.
If I may be so bold: The reason that review hurt so much is that a part of you believes it. Believes it means something about your inherent worth. Your inherent worth is endless and amazing. You are a gorgeous, exquisite, unique being, the likes of which the Universe will never see again.
Part of what makes you beautiful and amazing is how imperfect you are.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in
Congratulations on allowing light into the vacuum cleaner tube. Just tell the owner what happened and offer to pay for a replacement. If I were that owner, I’d be happy with duct tape to fix it. Now take a breath, put a little duct tape on yourself, and know that you are loved.
Regarding the vacuum, just tell them. It might turn out they stress about it far less than you think.
Bad review - you know… maybe it was a bad match. Maybe the purpose was a learning opportunity? Maybe you know more now about people that do you good - and the ones that don’t. I don’t do «much» when it comes to cleaning - certainly not a deep clean - but I choose carefully which hosts I want to sit for. They are reasonable people, their concern is the pet and they want me to have a nice time.
Still - everyone can find oneself in a bad sit, somehow. So don’t punish yourself. I am sure you are more than they could have wished for for their pet. That is what I wish for you. That they recognize you as the great sitter you are.
I’ve had EXACTLY that happen to me! - The fancy coffee-machine broke on the last-but-one day (only, unlike you I couldn’t get it to work again) and a few other things went wrong during the last days. Like you, I’m manic about cleaning and leaving everything perfect. Like you, I felt terrible. I worried myself into a right old state. (And also like you, I posted in this forum).
In the end, I just left an effusively apologetic note for the HOs - who wouldn’t be returning till after I’d left - inside my normal card, explaining what had happened and offering to pay for any repairs or replacements. My heart was in my mouth until I had a lovely WA message from them, telling me they’d easily got the coffee machine going again and none of the other stuff mattered in the slightest.
It’s so easy to blow mistakes up in your own mind, especially if you’re someone who’s naturally hyper-conscientious. My advice would be: Own up to the HOs, apologise and offer to cover any resultant costs. Because I’d bet my sweet petunias that they’ll just be pleased you were honest, they’ll understand mistakes and accidents happen - and they won’t charge you a penny.
One bad review doesn’t define you as a sitter. You’ve overweighted that and given one host the power to define you and/or to color your overall THS experience. No one can do that without your buying into it. Don’t give anyone that power. Why should that host or experience outweigh all the good ones you’ve had?
Regain perspective and calm down. Even getting dinged on a review isn’t a big deal if you have other reviews that are good.
Yesterday, I saw a sitter profile where the individual had a pattern of shortfalls, as identified by a bunch of hosts, and yet they keep getting sits. Judging by their replies to hosts, they’re sitting merrily along, without sweat.
Pragmatic possibilities: Don’t use any host’s expensive coffee machine in the future. Many experienced sitters use their own cheap and portable filters or drink instant, so they can avoid malfunctions of expensive equipment at sit homes.
And about the vacuum part you broke: In the future, set things like that off to the side, where you can’t easily knock them over to begin with. Use this experience to help yourself going forward.
These are minor things that you can easily do on sits to save yourself trouble. Focus on what you can reasonably control.
And if any host freaks out about one day’s dust because you dusted a day ahead of leaving, they’re nuts. Don’t even sit for hosts if you think they’re that crazy. You can discuss cleaning expectations at the outset if that sort of thing worries you.
Keep perspective about what’s reasonable. Just because you had one bad host with unreasonable expectations doesn’t mean you should adjust your behavior or expectations to think that everyone else is unreasonable. Most hosts are reasonable and accidents have happened on sits without everything spiraling.
The hateful owner has nothing to do with your current host. Just leave a very polite note letting the homeowner know what went wrong including the vacuum cleaner and that you’d be happy to pay for the new part. Do your best. Don’t miss your train or plane,
The most likely outcome is a 5 star review and they’ll tell you not to worry about the vacuum. Is it possible they’ll dock you a point? Yes it is. But it isn’t the most likely outcome nor is it likely that you’ll never get a sit again if they do.
You are letting the bad sit from the past live in your head. Is it paying rent to be there? I don’t think so! So please evict the thought.
Update. They arrived early just before we left, saw the cat sitting on my lap and told me the cat never sits on anyone’s lap and they’ve never seen their house so clean and no worries about the vacuum.
To the person who said not to use people’s coffee machines in future, I fixed the coffee machine myself because I have the same model at home and they’re new to the Sage brand. I didn’t want them to not have breakfast coffee and know the machine fairly well. I use stuff on sits because I want to be comfortable and not creep around like am unworthy mouse.
The bad review stays with me because it was completely unexpected. It made me question my judgement of people and we had some trouble getting sits at first afterwards.
Anyway all’s well that ends well. Fingers crossed for the review. They seem like a lovely family, but so did the other one.
Every owner I’ve had has never charged me I’ve done so many sits and there’s been a few where I had clumsy accidents. I actually stained a chair and another time I accidentally left a small turmeric stain on the counter. Owners didn’t care. Another time I accidentally dropped this fake flower that was extremely hard like sticks but I accidentally numbed into it and it cracked in half. I told the owner and apologized. She said oh it’s fine I kind of forgot the fake flower was there
I’d NEVER deep clean anyone’s home- I’ll clean after myself as I go but that’s a very light touch. All the HOs to date have been happy with that- well too bad if they weren’t…x
You can of course use what you like, if hosts have offered it. It comes down to tradeoffs that individual sitters make. Coffeemakers often give trouble, so many folks avoid using the hosts’ if they’re complicated. So they don’t for instance get frazzled about breaking them and then end up frustrated or in tears, running out of time to clean or such maybe. Again, your choice. It’s not a question of worthiness unless you make it so for yourself.
Personally, I rarely drink coffee and never make it, so one less thing to care about. But whatever I use, I decide whether it’s worth my trouble.
It reminds me of this discussion, where a sitter broke a vase. In that case, honesty, great communication and a good relationship between sitter and pet parent really helped… seems like the same thing here.
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to you for cleaning the coffee maker!
