Occupied guesthouse on property

I’m not dismissing other peoples concerns. I’m asking the difference between a condo, a terraced house and a house in the gardens of another house. There are very few houses so isolated that you don’t have some sort of neighbour. I really cannot see the difference and if complete isolation was high on my list I would have asked questions when I was talking to the hosts.
I also finish by saying if they are so concerned, cancel the sit and look for something more suitable.
There seems to be a growing culture (not just on this forum but in life in general) that if a person has a different opinion/solution to a problem they are not allowed to voice it. And before I get jumped upon, yes, I know we all have different tolerance levels and I do take onboard how the person is feeling. However, if I’m in a situation that I’m not comfortable with I sort it. Then I learn how not to get into that particular situation again by my experience which usually means more questions to the host before I accept the sit.

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What are you asking for here? You have received supportive and affirming comments. You have received different perspectives that you feel are dismissive and not just different. Folks have said trust your instincts and leave. Folks have said contact member services. Folks have said talk to the PP about it. What are you looking for that will make you satisfied. You seem angry at the forum community and I am not sure how to help.

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I’m not asking anything. I was explaining the situation further. Some people think that if a sitter finds themselves in a situation they did not expect, then it’s entirely their fault and they should have asked more questions. That is certainly not always the case. I’m not angry at all, I’m not someone who gets angry. I was just adding clarity.

That is your assertion.

In my last sit, it was in the welcome guide that parents (in a neighbouring city) had a spare key in case I would lock myself out. When I was there I was told that also the neighbour had a spare key. I thought that was excellent. But that neighbour was of the scary opposite gender (if THS will allow that word - oh my, the language policing) !!!

And then on my last day, the regular dogwalker walked in. Also of that scary opposite …

Had the owners “deliberately lied” to me? Probably not.

Try to think a little bit more positively about other humans, would be my advice. It makes life easier.

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Gosh. I can’t deal with men, who tell woman how they should or should not feel. :roll_eyes:

You are a man and just with that, you belong to the most privilige group of the world. Don’t tell other people who have not the same priviliges, how they should feel or act, please. :pray:

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Hello everyone, just a reminder that everyone has had different experiences whilst housesitting and this can lead to different perspectives. You might not have shared that experience or agree with what someone is saying but please keep it respectful and kind as per the forum’s values. Thank you.

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Another point that I thought of regarding this thread. I like to have anonymity when I do a house sit. I don’t like to feel that the Homeowner’s neighbours are possibly “checking me out” on how I’m handling the pet(s) etc. I’ve met some wonderful neighbours on house sits but have met some nosy ones too who were a little too friendly to the point of being meddlesome. So I can perfectly understand why Systaran is concerned and I also would have found it sneaky of the homeowners to not mention this in their listing.

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Maybe weigh in on this topic once you’ve experienced being a solo female traveler. trust me, you have no clue the kinds of creeps I have encountered over the years traveling solo. It doesn’t stop me from traveling but it does have me (and probably most women) taking precautions that make me comfortable

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And single male travellers don’t face the same, possibly more severe, predators?

As I’m always getting told, read his profile before making judgements. Not one of us knows the other’s circumstances, demons and scars. I try to answer truthfully, giving advice when I can and laughing along with the jokes but obviously sometimes someone objects to what I perceive as advice. They perceive as not supporting them. Disagreeing with a way someone is handling something is supporting them. Instead of saying ah, that’s really bad, talking about a way forward they may have not thought about is being supportive. Well, it is in my book.

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Single male travellers do not face the same predators.

We all know it, the statistics prove it.

Edited to comply with guidelines.

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Statistics can be manipulated to say anything, speaking as a former accountant. Single male travellers do not report crimes because of the stigma attached to them.

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@Ashleynov You need to tag the person you are addressing this comment to- like I just tagged you.

Come off it now! You know it’s not the same.

You are dismissing her and you know it. And worse, rather than stay quiet, you double down.

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But @ElsieDownie is right. Statistically and in reality, on the street it is quite a bit more dangerous for men than for women.

When women get murdered it is mostly by a man with whom they are or were in a relationship. Usually in her own home.

But the real danger is indiscriminate of gender: traffic.

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It’s not about the gender of the person living there, it’s about the dishonesty. If this happened to me now I would cancel the sit. I have just completed a sit where the reality was different from what we discussed, and it resulted in my first bad review, plus I feel violated and exploited. Not something that I need ! So if people seem less than open and honest, I think it’s best to call a halt.

It’s true that some people here dismiss the feelings of others, or criticise them for what they feel and do, instead of offering support. I am very sad about this and if I have problems about a sit, I definitely won’t post about it here. It’s not a safe space for that.

Hello :wave: just a quick reminder on this thread to please be respectful of the OP’s topic and those members discussing it, even if you disagree with some of what is being said.

Healthy debate is what makes this place great, but let’s keep it kind as per our forum values.

@andrealovesanimals , I hope you will not feel hesitant to post problems you encounter. There is lots of support here. Don’t let the critical few put you off.

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If this wasn’t clearly articulated in the listing you have grounds to cancel the sit from your side. As a solo female traveler you have to be 100% comfortable with the living situation and prioritise your safety.

If you decide to cancel, take a full-page screenshot of the listing, contact the HO via THS inbox and let them know this detail wasn’t in the original listing and that you’d like to cancel on this basis. If they try to add it to the list after your message, THS can actually detect the time/ date of edits, so you’re covered there, too.

It might be that after a chat with the HO your mind is set at ease. Perhaps you could do a three-way video call together with the additional tenant.

Good luck. Do what feels good for you :wink:

The thread is 2 months old. I guess the sit is long over, with or without the sitter.

While there have been a couple of responses that were a little dismissive no one has called you stupid and many have supported your feelings.
Perhaps look at the responses with a different mindset.
Personally there are a couple ways of looking at it, the homeowner May not have realized that it would cause you concern if the structures were not connected… but by the same token if there are other things that concern and you are uncomfortable then you should either have an open conversation with them about your concerns (this would be what I would do)
or cancel.