When inviting a previous sitter to sit for us again I always send an email as well as pressing the invite button on the website. It seems more courteous to write a personal message too. But I’ve found, sadly, that some sitters don’t extend the courtesy and just send ‘Decline’. These are often the most gushing and friendly before and during the sit. Do I just have to get used to it?
In more than ten words……yes.
This site is like the rest of the world, some people have manners, some don’t. Treat others as you would be expected to be treated and it just might rub off.
I’m always surprised at the poor manners some people have, most of us sitters / HOs are not like that!
I can’t believe that. I’m so touched when I’m invited to repeat sits, and if at all possible I accept. If it’s not possible, I send a nice response with my regrets and ask how everyone is. I’ve loved all of my sits.
Anyone who contacts me get a timely, considerate response, whether it’s THS or something unrelated. I like to think that the majority of people are caring, but unfortunately we’re more likely to hear about the exceptions. I’m hoping this is also the exception in your usual world.
As for the inconsiderate people in life? I try to surround myself with positive, caring, people, and move on from those who frustrate me. I rarely allow myself to get angry over the actions or inactions of others; they’re not worth my energy.
Hopefully you’ll take comfort in the kind words being shared with you from the many who are considerate.
I’m afraid it works both ways as I’ve written a few lengthy and personalised applications to owners, not received a reply at all (although I can see it’s been read) and eventually been declined or just left. As has been said, there are some courteous people and discourteous people on TH, but the majority are indeed very polite.
I usually explain why I can’t do the sit good manners cost nothing my mother said.
Hi KaitK, I will without fail always send a message back if a home owner has gone to the effort of sending me a message. Sometimes it is only that I am not available at the time and will say this if it looks an interesting sit. I have then had later invites. If it is just an area that does not appeal, I will just make a polite excuse. But I have never not replied to a sit I have been to before. In fact I have kept in contact with a few owners and if in the area again have met up with them, even if not sitting. Sorry you have experienced people who have not had the courtesy to reply.
@KaitK, I am sorry you are having this experience. As a HO we have always tried to maintain courteous connections with our sitters, and have built relationships with some and not others. Fortunately for us, we now have a strong relationship with a local sitter, and we text her before inviting her to sit privately. She has been with us twice before, and is coming twice in the next two months (I have to explore how the #2 is present in this relationship–any astral folks out there?).
In reading some of the posts prior to mine, it seems that some people on either side–sitters or homeowners–are simply more transactional than relational in their approach to THS, and that is revealed in their responses. There is also a generational side of this, with younger folks (Gen Z in particular) valuing brevity in responses. Finally, from a sales and cynical perspective, it makes sense that they would be “most gushing and friendly” to bookend the sit–this results in a greater booking rate and more positive reviews.
Not to take anything away from others who have posted here about the possibility of bad manners influencing responses. I am just trying to put forth other perspectives and orientations to this process.
As a sitter I’ve made some lovely relationship. I’ve returned to several, with future resits booked, and would return to nearly all the sits I’ve done. It makes it easier for the HO and HS
Thanks for your interesting reply. I realise that at base, sits are business transactions but even so, a quick email would have been nice. We do have repeat sitters and have very good relationships with them, but in this instance they are already booked elsewhere. I tend to take people at face value so was sad to realise that in this particular case ‘what you see isn’t what you get’. I’m just putting it down to experience and moving on.
I as a sitter alwasy reply to a invitation,being a repeat or not. Most of the time I make it short like I am sorry but I am booked on those dates. Just as I want a HO to answer my application with either yes or no.
This has worked fime for me so far.