Manners When Rejecting!

Just having a slight rant really - been on Trusted for nearly 10 years now and we ALWAYS personalise our applications with the owners names/pet names our knowledge about the area addressing any flags in the advert but have noticed recently A LOT of just declines - no reasons, no explanations nothing.

If we the housesitter have taken the time and care to apply you as a Home Owner should have the manners/decency to just sent a quick message - it doesn’t take long and its just basic politeness!

Rant Over!


We always personalise our applications too and have received around 50 offers of sits by HO, and maybe 2/3 referenced us by name.
Not something we would ever do but obviously in the minority, basically, some have better manners than others.
Actually, just realised that we have a 100% success rate with applications (admittedly not a vast number of applications though, i.e. 6 :grinning:)

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This is probably not what the poster is looking to hear right now!

@Fionabarton1970 I agree those non personalised declines are annoying, they feel cold and leave you wondering what you did/didn’t say in the applications.

I chalk it up to most people being very conflict averse and not wanting to give bad news. I sometimes invent a reason why I think they probably didn’t pick me and then try to move on.

Invites to sit with no personalised info and in places miles from where I live with a whole menagerie of animals also annoy me haha!

Good luck, hope your next perfect sit is just round the corner!


I find that that is better than the polite white lies.

I think the non personal invites are part of the THS system @Fionabarton1970 in that no one advises them to send a short, individual message with each one. It could come up as an alert to help this issue. Most people are decent, the tech is often what lets them down. #donttakeitpersonally


Looks like the new inbox design will sort this issue.


@Fionabarton1970 Read the new thread “Introducing our new messaging and application experience” as our frustrations have been addressed and owners will not be able to decline without sending a message :clap:,


I’ve been on a roll getting a lot of rejections too. Ugh


You realise that us Brits are experts at those polite white lies when communicating @pietkuip many of us are totally useless at saying “no thanks, not for us” as it seems rude. #culturaldifferences


Agree, @Fionabarton1970 – but manners are in short supply everywhere, not just here. I had one application “on hold” for nearly 2 weeks with no response, and then just an automated decline. By that time I’d applied for and got a different one.
So rather than wasting emotional energy on being annoyed, if it happens again I’ll just shrug and move on – it wasn’t the sit for me.


We are new on Trusted and have had to politely decline a couple of offers. I have always messaged with a reason and been as honest as I can. Usually because we are looking for either single people or couples not families. I wouldn’t dream of just declining - they have taken time to put together an offer to sit so the only decent thing is to give a reply. Social etiquette in my book. Shame if others aren’t doing the same.


@pietkuip @Cuttlefish

I don’t mind those little white lies as a form of politeness!
(Culturally, I’m North American.)

I’d rather hear “We chose someone with more goat experience” than “We just don’t like the look of you!” :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

But worst of all is hearing nothing, because then you have to wonder is there was some tech failure and they were never actually able to read your application or profile.


When they chose someone else, the THS system takes care of sending a polite and encouraging message to the other applicants that they were not selected.

So I got from a British owner a message “a friend will take care of the pet”. And then I see that they relisted. So what they wrote was not true. And then I wonder why they bother sending me that message. Sure it is cultural, but in cases like these totally unnecessary.


This is definitely an ongoing rant on here and I think it’s a valid one - the one that is the bane of my existence as a sitter with THS :slight_smile: Such a lack of courtesy really infuriates me when you have sent a personalized message. I always find it interesting as well as to see what sitters were chosen for the sits vs our application. I’ve looked back on a couple of local sits I’ve applied on where the homeowners immediately hit the “decline” button despite having me over 40 + 5 star reviews. Sometimes sitters that are older or younger than us have been chosen with much less reviews than we have so it’s totally baffling to me what homeowners are looking for a lot of the time. I think it may have something to do with a connection of commonality re interests such as a love of cooking, fitness classes, etc. We did a sit where the homeowners had the same painting in their livingroom as we did in our house! Who knows :slight_smile:

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Agreed. Wrote a personalised application last night. Just had an auto decline message with nothing from the HO. Came across pretty rude.

I’m the same I always personalize my application. I’ve received some polite rejection response explanations, yet it’s not consistent. Also, when I’m invited to a sit and typically dates never work, I decline with a polite response thanking them. Occasionally i receive a “thank you” for letting me know, yet not always. I’m wondering whether newbies just don’t understand the platform, yet now with the new messaging system hopefully that will change.

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Think of it in the same way as when you hold the door open for people, some say Thanks and others don’t. To them, its perfectly normal. Its annoying yes, but don’t get too bothered by it. It will keep occurring.



This is not a site for feelings. If a HO just rejects us, it could be for a variety of reasons. Such as;

  1. Too many applicants to respond back to! What if they have 19 people that applied and a sit already picked out? If each rejection email takes 1 minute…plus a potential follow-up…the value of time is factored in.
  2. I heard THS has an auto-decline…the HO may not even know they rejected you.
  3. If you are applying for a sit where the HO is a couple, one person may have intent to write back and the other may not…
  4. It isn’t personal, don’t take it as such. Just move on!

I agree I have recently applied for 4 sits got no response after 10 days and had to re send messages asking the outcome was then declined. It has really put me off applying for future sits now as no reasons were given either and to be rejected a few times is quite demoralising with no explanations.


Very wise advice to not take offence even if it’s harder in practice sometimes. It isn’t personal for sure. HOs can only get a max of 5 applicants though, so sending 4 quick replies isn’t very time consuming would be the caveat. Long gone are the times of 19 applicants @TravelMan #goodolddays