Profiles of a Problematic Pet Parent

Owner Questions, Advice & Chat
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I hope this information helps to grease the skids around any anxiety related to being a pet parent or being a pet sitter. After all, none of us are perfect!

I have left the names and locations anonymous for the purpose of sharing my experiences with parent’s and sitters.

Here is my first Profile in what I hope “is not” a series:

Profile: This is a Trusted Housesitter Pet Parent & Pet Sitter with 2 male, indoor cats in a small apartment. I was her pet sitter. This parent left a bad review of me for reasons unrelated to the sit, however, she agreed premium sitting was provided for her sweet cats.

My job was to take care of the cats for just under a month, and as always I provided premium services because I was with them most of the time and as the PPPC, I never violated the quiet hours of the apartment complex (BTW not specified on her printed guide). I provided her updates that included very professional images of healthy, well cuddled, and well-loved cats (in her bad review, she first agreed that above-the-call-of-duty sitting services were provided).

I knew this parent would be a problem from the beginning too, so I took actions to try and ensure a good visit from the start. For example, I ask that we communicate only via the Trusted Housesitters app and that she complete the online welcome guide. She refused and made it compulsory for me me to use What’s App instead of Trusted Housesitters App. I made it clear that the TH App is my priority preference for all communications but she failed to respect my request.

I also offered to visit 2 days in advance on my vacation day which was Labor day. But could not because there were no busses running and she was really rude about it and made a big deal in my review because I don’t drive and she knew it. I needed my doctor to mail my meds, but she made a big deal about asking management to open her box when they arrive. So it is for these reasons why her house was “spit-spot” spotless because I knew anything out of place would have been a complaint. Oh well, I tried.

She handed me a printed pet sitting guide which kept changing while she was preparing to leave. This confirms that I read the complete guide. Plus I put check marks after each item in “pink ink” upon our review of each item and then I attached the final version on the text thread in the TH app. Unfortunately, she lied in my review about not reviewing the guide together before she left and this lying is likely a violation of our code of ethics.

Her neighbor complained when I was doing my aerobics at noon on a Saturday. Management agreed the neighbor was a problem. She still put the ownness on me, didn’t shield me against her neighbors issues, and complained about me on my review rather than complaining to property management about her neighbor. Afterall, I was a guest in her home, yet she treated me as an unwanted stepchild.

Because, I knew in advance this parent would be a problem, I kept a log with weekly updates to her. Then I put everything in a .pdf and sent it to her and attached it on our thread in the TH app. She complained because she couldn’t get internet access for What’s app and then didn’t know how to open a PDF file when she finally got bars.

I know that it is not right to hold anyone other than yourself accountable for mandating the use of a 3rd party internet app. Trusted Housesitting IS the internet app to use not What’s App, especially with a problematic parent or sitter. And in the end, she created her own problems by failing to use the Trusted Housesitters App.

So, she threw me under the bus in my review and then blamed a garbage disposal spoon on me too. ??? About the spoon. This happened when maintenance had to come to reset the fuse box because the appliances failed to start. He hit the garbage disposal for a test without checking first and she never asked me about it. She just blamed it on me in my Trusted Housesitters Review Now that’a a problematic pet parent … Wouldn’t you agree?

And BTW, none of these problems were in my review of her. Why, because I was not harmed and I enjoyed the sit and all was well with the kitties!

If you got this far, thank you for reading and I look forward to your feedback.

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I’m curious what kind of feedback you’re looking for or if you have a question? Sounds like you took a sit with a HO who you knew in advance would be a problem. Sounds like a lesson learned to not do that. Other than that, not much to say I think?

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3

This sounds like a very hard sit that you can make valuable. In your post you have identified several red flags. In the future you can use this experience to avoid hosts that show this type of behavior, either not applying or withdrawing when breach of THS ethos and terms. Then you can turn the coal of your sit into a petsitting diamond. :wink:

When it comes to reviews - always be factual and un-emotional. People with that kind of behavior will almost always show their true colors. As most attentive members read reviews from both parties of a sit, it will serve you to be factual and it will not serve her to rage about you. The best sitter may occassionaly get into such a sit and others will get it. So shrug and move on, learn to avoid and bury her review in good sits. Best of luck!

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@PPP-Cuddler You started your post by saying that you want to help other members, …that is the primary purpose of a review … by omitting this information potential future sitters do not know about any of these issues because you didn’t mention them - they have been given the impression that there were no issues at all which is not an honest review .
It also means that the host will not see any need to alter their behaviour.

Many sitters are not members of the forum and there is no way to link what you have said to a particular sit . Writing a respectful, non emotional but still factual review allows future sitters to make an informed choice before applying to a sit.

At this point I would have withdrawn my application for the sit .

I tell all hosts that I need to receive the welcome guide to review once sit is confirmed . I’m not willing to do a sit unless I receive a WG well ahead of the sit dates - ( it doesn’t have to be the THS one ) If it contains information that substantially differs to listing or what has been discussed or adds any information that was not previously disclosed that will have a negative impact , I will challenge or withdraw from the sit .

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5

I agree that a factual review with careful wording would have been the way to warn others. I always use WhatsApp after the initial correspondence on TH site. It’s much better for communication and photos. I give my email as well as a back up as soon as I have been accepted.

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Sounds like a problem sit that you unfortunately walked into knowing it would be so @PPP-Cuddler Agree with @Silversitters that it would have been useful and honest if you’d shared some non emotional facts about her attitude, micro managing, lack of WG, choice of what’s app comms only etc as it would have helped future sitters (which is the main reason for reviews!). If a host insists on WA only again and you think it’s iffy then screenshot the conversations as they can delete it later if they choose to. Sounds like a sit to be avoided. #betterlucknexttime

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@PPP-Cuddler

It sounds like to me, you had a bad sit and are still really annoyed by it.
It has happened to a lot of people and no doubt, a whole lot more.
Live and learn from the experience, life is too short. Look forward, not back.

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Such a shame you didn’t leave a review which reflected your experience. It is much easier now with the blind review system.

There are separate categories so if you gave 5 stars in some areas you could say why it was so good and then mark down other areas such as communication and hospitality and also explain why.

You expected a difficult experience and you got it. The next sitter will walk in to the same scenario unless it was just a personal issue between yourself and the homeowner.

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My POV: Hosts are the No. 1 potential dealbreaker for any sit, regardless of how good it might look otherwise, so don’t invite trouble by ignoring red flags.

It sounds like you were unrealistic about your ability to manage a host who clearly gave off such signals. Help yourself going forward by being more realistic about what you can control vs. not.

And to not review accurately is a disservice to fellow sitters. Why enable poor behavior by a host?

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10

Perfection

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11

Okay, take a deep breath! You seem to be seeing things in a very negative way, and some of those things are… wellllll… normal. Apart from the spoon thing, and that’s just one of those things that happens.

You have a big list of things that to me, seem quite normal to me as a pet sitter. I think it’s the fact you have a big list, that makes it all feel emotionally draining for you. So I feel for you.

But here’s the thing…
The THS app is inadequate in many different ways, she’s right to want to use whatsapp instead. The pet owner making whatsapp compulsary is only right… it’s her pets, and it’s her requirements, if her requirements don’t suit you, you shouldn’t have gone ahead with the sit, that’s the solution there.

I prefer whatsapp because it’s the quickest and easiest way to send images and updates to owners, plus you’ll discover there’s quite often a time delay with the THS platform, so whatsapp is easiest. Same for sending PDFs via THS, it’s terrible, whatsapp is easiest. I’m not sure why you are putting things on a PDF as a sitter, I get it if you were the owner, but I’ve no idea what that’s about, messaging via whatsapp would be simpler, and a more friendly way to communicate.

The Welcome Guide - I understand the owners perspective because the THS welcome guide doesn’t allow them much flexibility, they can’t adapt it in the way some of them need to, so some owners prefer to produce their own guide. Most will use the THS one, but some won’t if they can’t adapt it the way they need, that’s normal.

The guide changing - that happens a lot of the time, because an owner remembers extra things at the last minute, or remembers things that have changed since her last sitter was there. Updates/tweaks happen on most of our sits.

You’re doing aerobics in a a small apartment that will have thin walls, so I’m not surprised the neighbour complained. Instead pick future sits in houses instead if that’s what you want to do, or even better, in detached houses.

You had arranged to visit 2 days early, but you seem to blame her for being “rude”… you changed the plans you had made, not her. While she shouldn’t be rude to you, I can understand her being bothered by it two days prior to her going away.

Reviewing the guide - you are saying she is lying, but that could have something to do with you not visiting 2 days prior, because I am guessing that is when you were supposed to go through things together. Or did you actually see her before she left? Did you physically go through the guide together if that’s what she wanted? Or were your pink marks on the PDF that was sent for example, I’ve no idea because you’ve missed some detail out.

Your meds - I think given you’ve got drugs arriving at her place, I can understand her concern. I think if you took that in isolation, you would probably understand her reasons behind that. She doesn’t know you, and you don’t have the reviews to back up that you are good person.

I’m sure you’ll find your next owner is brilliant. Good luck.

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12

Sending a BIG HUG for a job well done and tolerating the antics of an unreasonable kitty owner. :two_hearts:

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13

All this trouble for a stay in a small apartment… I don’t quite understand why you had not canceled this sit since you and the HO clearly did not get along.

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14

It’s not too late to reply to her review addressing the concerns she had about you in a matter of fact manner. From what I gather, it was more a matter of personalities clashing rather than poor cat or house care.

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If you knew this pet owner was going to be “a problem from the beginning” but you accepted the sit anyway, I am not sure what sort of feedback you expect.
If you accepted because you are a full-time sitter and had nowhere else to go, or were desperate for a sit in that area and had no other options, then it is unfortunate that it did not work out that well.

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