Sorry @ElEd but Iâm a Brit in Britain, a reference to Florida means nothing more than orange juice and Disneyland. It is only âperfectly clearâ to Americans (maybe) or to Americans in the group experiencing the discrimination. Would it mean something to you if I cited Glasgow in reference to a group of people?
And as for being interrogatory, it was the OP themselves that said
" I often give others the benefit of the doubt, by investigating, following up, asking questions,"
Iâm Irish in Ireland but I follow world events and am neither so insulated nor so privileged as to be indifferent to the terrifying global rise of the far-right as exemplified in Florida. And yes, as it happens I know Glasgow quite well.
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OK @ElEd, you got me, I picked a city you know well. Just insert one you donât and my point rests.
Iâm sorry to hear youâre experiencing this, @PaperStan I think youâve provided some great ideas about adding badges/banners HO and sitters profiles.
We do not discriminate in our home and youâre always welcome to apply.
We try our best to reply to every person but sometimes if weâre close to making a decision or have already decided we may not always have a chance to send out a message to everyone before we confirm, which will send out an automatic decline to people. I get the feeling based on your responses that this is probably not exactly your experience - what you mean is that the HO hasnât confirmed anyone yet and doesnât for multiple days.
For everyone else thatâs trying to understand the OP, I highly recommend staying informed. I realize that it might be hard for some folks to read between the lines, and I donât think itâs lack of empathy but simply not knowing what BLM is or not being welcomed in Florida means. And Iâm sorry but I agree with what @Maggie8K said, your responses and questioning comes across as micro aggression, and Iâm sure itâs not your intention. I am an immigrant but even with that I recognize my own privilege, and sometimes with privilege comes lack of understanding.
Thereâs a variety of great books out there that can help (if at all interested) and please do not take any offense in the titles of these books, as Iâve read them myself (and help me see my own privilege and how I can best support marginalized communities)
- How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X Kendi
-Between The World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates - The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein
If anyone has any more suggestions on books related to this topic I would love to read them.
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Youâre right, itâs coincidence I know Glasgow- the much more salient point is that if you talked about discrimination in a place I donât know, I would address my own ignorance through the power of Google rather than demanding you do the labour of explaining it to me.
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We in no way want to stop the flow of this thread and there has been some great discussion here, so just a reminder at this point of our kindness values and that everyone has different opinions and perspectives and thatâs what makes our community great. Thank you for keeping it respectful and kind.
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Highly recommend âHow To Be An Antiracistâ as well. Many of us read it and discussed it constructively at work at one of my previous jobs.
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Whether something written here comes across as aggressive or not depends on who reads it.
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Oh, OK. I am thoroughly humiliated by my ignorance and now know that the correct answers are to be found on the Internet and the right way to respond to a request for edification or clarification is to tell the inquisitor to look it up themselves. Youâre quite right, that will certainly reduce the need for discussion, debate or the sharing of information between group members.
Wanted to express support for @PaperStan and note that starting such a thread couldnât have possibly been done without courage, as well as hope of some folks understanding.
We donât all need to agree, of course. Itâs just important to realize that when someone raises such a sensitive topic and expresses hurt, itâs worth considering whether your reply might be hurtful to them. And what I wrote, I knew wouldnât be palatable to everyone. I wrote it because PaperStan has been hurt and itâs not right that more of that happens. And thereâs no education obligation that they signed up for. As travelers and citizens of the world, we can all keep learning without putting the onus on others.
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If everyone had to google on a forum topic, and channel their mind reading skills too in order to understand all the hidden meanings, I think the forum would be pretty empty.
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We share plenty of info and POVs on this forum. When it comes to discrimination, thatâs a different topic, with different weight thatâs already been carried by those whoâve been hurt. Letâs please not conflate that with the idea that we shouldnât share any know-how.
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I do actually want to apologise for using the phrase âread between the linesâ! As a member of a very neurodiverse family Iâm well aware that for many neurodivergent people thatâs exclusive and discriminatory in itself, as some people are literal thinkers and communicators and cannot âread between the linesâ.
But if anyone reading this thread is in that position, a helpful thing to do might be to take up some of the excellent book recommendations given above, rather than persistently seeking further clarification from the OP who has already provided a lot of clarification and has expressed that they have been hurt by discrimination, as that only adds to their burden, whether or not that is intended.
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There is no such thing as too sensitive. Thatâs a very personal thing. Discrimination is not same as rejection itâs nuanced has a different impact. Though maybe some people are not empathic, and speak without care, and then so call other people too sensitive because some people are shut down or closed hearted and minded.
That isnât what I said. What I wrote was
I was not brought up in a world where describing someone as delicately susceptible and acutely affected by external influences was offensive.
Very well said. @Maggie8K There is a difference.
There are people who clearly discriminate from unhealthy bias and it does spread to these platforms. I have lots of good reviews and still know when there is bias. I have experienced it a few times in my 8 years on THS.
It is painful to read the micro aggressions. I see the defensiveness comes across and justification of poor form. Thank you for your comment highlighting these points.
So much can be learned for people to read to understand.
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Emphasis on the word âtooâ. I am an empathetic and HSP (highly sensitive person). Itâs my super power as a medical intuitive and without it people wouldnât get help. Or animals wouldnât get their health helped. But itâs needed for sensitivity in this cold world. Someone can be sensitive. But using the âTooâ part thatâs subjective there is really no need to add that in. Simple things as removing too on in order to remain respectful.
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