For context we’ve been sitting now for nearly 4 months straight, plus about 3 months in 2023, so have a pretty solid level of experience. Most sits have been fairly easy going with a few hick ups here and there, though his week we started a new one which has been quite problematic.
Two female labs. Generally great behaviour out of the house and although they can be a little clingy indoors are mostly chill. That is, until we go to bed. That’s when the whining and barking starts. One dog in particular, mainly at the back door.
We’ve tired various approaches; letting them out, often multiple times a night (though they mostly just loiter and need calling back in after 5+mins), taking them back to their beds and sitting with them calming for a while, and being more firm and taking them to their beds without fusses. Nothing seems to make a difference.
The owners seem surprised to hear about the behaviour, confirming they normally sleep downstairs without issue and that the door to upstairs in kept shut. Last night (night 4) though we just let them sleep wherever (though not in our bed). They found their way to another bedroom and things started better though soon enough the whining and barking began. In the end I just shared the bed with the dogs so we could all get some sleep. Still though, the one dog did get up a few times and needed comforting, though far less than before.
I’d rather not have to do this every night (though thankfully there’s only 2 left), but there doesn’t seem to be another option. We take them out before bed and they have been getting a proper run around each day (90mins including chasing the ball). We rarely watch TV though often have some light music on, sitting with them a good part of the evening.
The lack of sleep and fear of further disruption is quite draining. Any advise would be much appreciated. Many thanks
Ugh. That would be Annoying. The fact that you have only two nights left is at least end in sight. Not much more you could have done but please mention the behaviour in your review to give future sitters a heads up. Happy future zzzzs
Sorry to hear this has been happening to you - sounds like typical dog anxiety in the absence of the owners. We’ve had this a few times during sits, with both cats and dogs who bark, howl, meow or scratch at doors during the night, particularly in the early hours of the morning. This seems to happen most when it’s a pet who’s never had a sitter before, and the owners have never really been away from them. The behaviours can seem random/unexplained, because it’s not like the owners let the pet sleep in the room with them, feed them or let them out to the bathroom at this time. It’s purely just "where is my mum!!? And “pay me attention!!”
When this has happened, we’ve tried to just ignore these behaviours and eventually they stop. The more you give in and fuss over them during the night, the more the behaviour increases, we’ve found. Unfortunately it happens with some sits, and it just takes the pet a while to adjust. We’ve also learnt that some pets simply just don’t do well on sits, and have a lot of anxiety the whole time, no matter what you do to try and minimise their stress. It’s not your fault, and it’s not the owner’s fault either - it’s just the pet having to get used to their absence.
The waiting by the back door and loitering in the garden sounds like them trying to look for their owners. We’ve also had pets do this, waiting by the front door (and yes it is a little heartbreaking but what can you do!)
At least you only have 2 more nights - hang in there!
I agree. Unless the pets are asking to get something that they usually get from the owners, which doesn’t seem to be the case if they sleep downstairs, they just want to calm their anxiety with attention and the more they get, the more they demand because their behavior is rewarded.
As @Oztravels has said, please mention this in your review.
Can you bring their dog beds into your room? I think having them on the bed isn’t something I would encourage . It’s hard for sitters that follow. The owners should give you a strategy that they would implement on your shoes.
Lack of sleep is something I would really struggle with. We aren’t baby sitters and these aren’t pups!
Maybe a jumper belonging to the owner could comfort them too.
It sounds like there may be a certain night time routine the dogs are used to, that the owners don’t realise, and you’re not doing.
Everyone has a similar pattern before bedtime, and we’re all different. Like when they get their last loo break, where they are laying when they get their last stroke, and the way lights get turned off and in what order, and the also the noises you make from afar while you’re getting ready for bed.
Anyway, sounds like you’ve done your best, it’s only two nights now.
Here when I go out I have been instructed to put a crime programme on on the tv. The dog seems happy with this arrangement and I’ve had no complaints. Radio works too. Maybe a kibble to get them relaxed and then sleep!
@sitter83, oh boy. That doesn’t sound good at all.
After two years of full-time housesitting then we suggest that separation anxiety seems materially more common than we ever imagined. We never had such issue with own (alas late) dog. Not sure if this our limited experiences; COVID impact; demographic surrogate-child psychology; or otherwise.
No advice to offer you in current sit. Good luck. "Owners seem surprised … " - sure
More broadly, we now try to deal with this through three tactics #1 Red flags. Some listings state separation anxiety. Some issues (e.g. pet sleep in human bed, pet cannot be left for reasonable duration, pet attention during night) become evident. No doubt that some housesitters may relish 24/7 companionship but we do not. We do not apply or decline. #2 Green flags. Our hearts leap at listings that contain positive language to dispel risks of separation anxiety. There’s both content and tonality of language. We apply. #3 Exercise. In our experience, may dog behavioural issues can be somewhat tempered through sufficient exercise. Clearly within reasonable bounds and appropriate for pets. In your case, most labs can walk a considerable distance.
Keep smiling . And good luck with your ongoing adventure!
@sitter83, we’ve been there. A learning experience for us. Not again. Without proper sleep then our housesit experience deteriorated. On two housesits, my spouse and I slept in different beds so at least one of us could sleep without “cuddling” pet(s).
Encourage that you state facts briefly and honestly in review.
If it’s separation anxiety, maybe ask your hosts whether there’s clothing with their scent on it that you might give the dogs to comfort them at night.
Our first reaction was actually to ignore the behaviour, but as it’s an inner city house we felt the noise was too much for others to have to listen to for long, though perhaps it could be worth giving it another go.
You have my sympathies with this, I’ve just done a sit for a dog with separation anxiety, and it’s so stressful. Search on Youtube for Calming Music for Dogs, I found a 15 hour video which I put on for him each night on my laptop, and it helped. My folks use this for their dogs in thunderstorms as well. Definitely mention it in the review for future sitters, I hope your next sit is more restful!
First welcome… and always keep the forum close by- we are hear to support each other!
Sorry to hear and we experienced this before. Been sitting 1.5 years straight- 25 sits around the world. You start a sit you’ve been looking forward to and then the night whining starts!
Did you spend time w the dogs hanging around HO like over night so they got comfortable with you that positively reinforcement from the HO? Sounds like you walked in cold… yes? No mention of behavior issues in the Guide I expect. We do this on each stay one way or another.
We had a sit 3 weeks that we could only walk into cold, not spend an evening. There were 2 dogs one was a very Large Basset. The HO told us to not let them sleep up stairs which were weren’t planning on. Well… first night 3-4 hours of whining, barking and scratching at the door by the Bassett!!! There were paint flakes on the floor WOW…we muscled through.
2nd night kept the TV, closed shades which they always were looking out and watching people, critters going by. Better but not great.. hours
3rd we walked them for a 2-3 mile walk. That helped a lot. In time the behavior diminished because they didn’t like the long walks - we gained control of the home that way.
Always suggest spending time ahead of the stay w the HO / pets at least overnight to ease into the sit and observer the routine. If not possible go over the day before and spend an hour or two for orientation
in the initial video meeting do a walk through on the house. ask where they sleep pan around. Look at doors to stairs and rooms to see if there are scratch marks… not kidding. This house had them all around which we saw after the fact.
Lots of activity - chasing ball or long long walks to get them tired.
Feeding earlier in evening so they do their duties before you call it a night.
Last resort TV On, Volume low and close shades in windows.
Hope you are doing well and good luck with your adventures!
Great tips! Thanks for sharing. I think separation anxiety is on the rise! Using clothing from the owner in the dog bed helps too I think.
Sometimes the problem is compounded by anxious Home Owners!
I agree. Especially when people work from home and the pets aren’t used to being left on their own. They tend to become dependent on the presence of their humans and their routines and lack adaptability if that has not been trained.
It can happen. It sounds like the dogs have never had overnight sitters before or the previous sitters have failed to mention it. I did an emergency sit outside THS recently for a young dog who had never been parted from their HOs & they pined very badly. Unfortunately circumstances meant we couldn’t do any prep work. Between me and the older dog (who was brilliant at helping give reassurance) we gently built the dogs confidence. We got through it and sometimes that’s all you can do.
Yes they take their cue from an older dog .. that’s a great idea to “ borrow” one to help the young one to settle. I’ve never tried it but it’s worth trying for sure!
. And good luck with your ongoing adventure!