Sitter wants to arrive the night before, have us pick them up, stay with us and have dinner with us

Hello all! We’ve used this service a few times. Usually in the past, sitters get themselves to our house and show up an hour or two before we are leaving as to get the tour and overview. However, this sitter said they usually come the night before, get picked up from whichever location (bus, train, airport, etc), stay at our place and eat dinner with us, noting other owners do this all the time. Is this typical? We want to be accommodating as we appreciate the service, but this is more than we were expecting. Curious if others have this experience as well?

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Out of around 40 dog sits, at least 30 of them have offered similar. Nearly all ours are international but even in our home country of Turkey it happens on most occasions. Get to know each other, bond with the pets, do the evening walking routine, share a meal with a stranger, all that good stuff. It sounds odd but it’s really very enjoyable. Ultimately though @MichiganJules, you need to do what makes you (& your sitter) comfortable. How far are they coming from? What time are you leaving the following morning? Where would they stay if not with you and what are the cost implications? Is it for dogs? Have a think and chat with your sitter on options. #allaboutgoodcomms

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This depends on so many factors. In most cases the HOs have asked us to come a day earlier to show us around and more often than not we have dinner with them. As a sitter we don’t have an issue with this but also don’t expect it. The “picking up” bit seems a bit much if it’s an expectation but it would depend on how it was phrased. Both sitters and HOs need to set boundaries and if that’s not what works for you say so.

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Yes it’s typical. It’s totally up to you and your sitters options. If you don’t like it and you can find sitters who’ll pay for a hotel for one night, just say no to this sitter.
We always offer it and even put ourselves in the guestroom (since the our main bedroom is where sitters sleep for the duration of the sit). There are many pros for doing it this way, but if it’s not for you just decline.

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I’m doing my 18th sit and many have worked that way, but like sits in general, there’s variability.

As a host, you’re not obligated to pick anyone up or feed anyone. Those are things some hosts choose to offer as hospitality.

They also can help if you have a sit that’s not popular.

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@MichiganJules

We have stayed the night before on a couple of sits, but only because the HO were leaving really early in the morning.
Its really enjoyable spending the evening before just chatting.
Actually requesting to be collected up does seem a bit unusual, and it isn’t something we would expect as sitters.

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This is certainly not unheard of and on my first ever house-sit in Copenhagen, the home owner offered to collect me from the airport and I did have tea together with the family that evening before they left super early to go on their travels the following morning.

However, I’d certainly never expect any home owner to pick me up from the airport and I believe that is my responsibility to get myself from the airport to the HO’s home.

I’ve actually done 10 overseas sits at this point and 90% of those, I made my own way to the HO’s house. With my most recent sit in Oslo, we’d both arranged that I got to the HO’s house between 7 and 8 pm the night before their departure. We didn’t have dinner together but that gave us ample time - a good couple of hours to go through pet routines and everything that was necessary as the family had a flight at the crack of dawn the next day.

I’ve also had situations where it’s a key under the doormat and I’ve been sent some great little video guidelines to help me get set up. I loved this as I found it easier to grasp often than written instructions.

There are definitely no set rules when it comes to handovers and I’ve had all sorts of different scenarios over the years!

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Welcome @MichiganJules

It all depends on the circumstances and what was arranged when you confirmed the sit. Did you already agree an arrival time on the start date before the sit was confirmed?

You are not obliged to offer accommodation the night before the start date - ,however we have been offered this on sits when the owner is leaving first thing in the morning. It makes sense if your sitter is travelling a distance to travel to you , you have an early departure and you need them to be there to handover before you leave.

If the handover is going to be later in the day then there is no need for the sitter to stay over in your home the day before .Although some hosts may offer this .

As a rule of thumb the sitter arrives on the start date and not before.

Some hosts have build in an extra overlap day when listing their dates for their own peace of mind , if the sitter is arriving from a distance by public transport incase of flight delays etc

If it’s awkward to have someone stay over in your home , some hosts handover to the sitter and then go to a hotel themselves the night before their early morning flight.

If the sitter you have chosen doesn’t have a car it’s both hospitable and practical to offer to pick them up from the airport/ bus terminal. However that would usually be discussed before confirming the sit .

So there’s no right or wrong or usual , it will differ depending on the circumstances.

This has also been discussed previously on this thread

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Apart from sits where the hosts did not have the room we have been invited to arrive the night before. Generally that has been because we only sit dogs and it gives time to bond and see their walking/feeding routine as well as give the host assurance that we have made it okay. We drive in the UK and traffic can be hit or miss (no pun intended :grin:).

On a couple of occasions where there is not the room and the hosts have very early flights they have handed over and then left to stay at a hotel near the airport. Our next sit we use the master bedroom and are arriving late afternoon then walking the dogs down to the pub for dinner before they then leave to stay at an airport hotel. We have really enjoyed many lovely meals with our hosts and generally we try to reciprocate at the other end by cooking them a meal if we are staying (late return) or leaving them something.

We drive so have never had the question of how to get to the house but in very rural UK it can be quite a trip to/from an airport and/or train station. Some villages do not even have a taxi/uber service. A sit we have planned in December had an application from Korea and when the hosts asked how they would get to them and get around they said by taxi as they didn’t drive! This is a village in the middle of Suffolk with the nearest taxi service over 20 minutes away. Can’t begin to imagine the costs involved there.

We have also been asked by hosts if we could drive them (their car) to the airport and back on a couple of occasions. Hubby is more than happy to do that while I unpack! :sweat_smile:

As others have said you need to do what you are most comfortable with. There are plenty of sitters on THS that would very much rather a quick handover with no overlapping stay. A lot depends on your circumstances re space to host guests, your comfort levels for cooking/going out for a meal when preparing for a trip away and your assurance levels that the sitters have actually arrived in good time with no panic over any delays.

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Yes, I’ve also had blind handoffs with a key hidden for me, as well as hosts who invited me days ahead, as generous hospitality.

I’ve also been invited to stay for days after my sit, if I wanted to do sightseeing without responsibilities.

Plus, some hosts offer some sitters days of hospitality if they learn that they’ll be between sits.

Some hosts and sitters see THS sits as transactional trades. Some folks want to go beyond and be generous. Loads of variability.

One set of hosts for whom I’ve repeat-sat take themselves off to an airport hotel for the night before an early flight, leaving me with run of their home.

Personally, I take cues from my hosts — depends on what they offer. I wouldn’t tell anyone that they had to pick me up or feed me — I find that nervy. But some folks figure, if you don’t ask, you don’t get.

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Yes, especially with dog sits.

And when I am not with my own vehicle and when there is no public transport to their place I will ask if they can pick me up and to drop me off. That is then typically in the countryside. In cities I can manage myself to get to their door.

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Makes sense. Offering can help hosts widen their pool of candidates for rural sits, as can offering use of a car or bike.

The hosts of my last sit offered to pay round trip ($80 USD) for the airport shuttle to a drop-off / pickup point near their home. They picked me up and treated me to a nice dinner out. Later, when I was flying home, they dropped me at the shuttle pickup point. The ride was an hour+ from the airport. While I sat, they let me use a car, golf cart and bike.

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I agree with you on this, especially what you said in your last paragraph.

There’s something quite off-putting about someone who is presumptuously expecting an airport taxi service and a meal. To me, it doesn’t quite set the right tone.

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Hi @MichiganJules

What they’re requesting isn’t out of the ordinary, but you don’t have to agree to it, especially if it’s not really necessary.

However, for the sits that I’ve done without a car, home owners have offered to collect me from the airport/railway station. And for sits where the home owners are leaving early in the morning, and I’ve travelled some distance to get to them, I’ve stayed the night before, got to know owners and pets, and been treated to a home-cooked meal (a favour which I return at the end of the sit). I’ve only ever done one sit where the owners had left before I arrived.

Sits that would involve complicated travel, or where I would need to pay for a local Air BnB for a night before and night after the sit to ensure a good handover, would definitely be less attractive.

Home owners are not hiring a service, they’re inviting an individual into their home to care for their pets, and there’s usually a bit of give and take on both sides to make sure that a handover runs smoothly, people are where they need to be with plenty of time for any hiccups, and that pets have time to meet sitters in a relaxed setting.

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Well we don’t know the circumstances of this particular sit, but it could also be considered presumptuous of a home owner to expect a sitter to fork out a few hundred quid in transport and accommodation costs in order to meet their specified arrival time, and for the pleasure of looking after their pets on an unpaid basis, and all that it entails.

For what it’s worth, I’m never overly keen on the idea of having to spend the first/last night in the home and company of complete strangers - but it’s sometimes necessary in order to accommodate a good handover and an early departure the following morning. (And it’s always turned out to be a more pleasant experience than expected).

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It has never been a problem.

The other thing that is off-putting is when owners set an expected time for me to arrive with complete disregard of timetables etc. And when they then unilaterally change that time the day before.

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My POV is, these are elements to be discussed before a sit is agreed on. That’s because, under THS terms, hosts aren’t obligated for sitters’ travel or food.

If a sitter accepts without discussing such, then later asks for pickup and a meal, the host is put in a hard place of having to agree or maybe start things off on a bad foot if they refuse.

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I do certainly see your point here and it’s indeed a valid one but we sitters choose to do this on a voluntary basis.

Nobody should be applying to or taking on a sit unless they are confident they can get themselves/fund themselves to get to the pet-owner’s home without expecting a home owner to take care of this for them. That’s how I see it and I have nothing further to add to the conversation from here. Thank you.

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Hi @MichiganJules
I’ve done 22 sits and I think 15 have been were I’ve arrived a day before and spent the night in the HO’s place. Many HO’s find it less stressful particularly when I’m flying or coming long distances by train. It means no stress about me not turning up and they get to know me a little while showing me the normal pet routines.

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I’ve had a mix of arrival situations including staying the night before, arriving an hour or so before the hosts leave, as well as some blind handovers with a key in a lockbox. Just do what you feel comfortable with. I’ve done 45 sits and about 25% have been day before arrival, 50% arriving anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours before they left, and 25% lockboxes. Personally, I prefer an in person handover the day they are leaving.

About half of my sits have been in the US and I was driving so no pickups needed. Of my sits in Europe/UK I’ve had several hosts pick me up from the train station which is appreciated, but not necessary.

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