Hello everyone!
I applied for a sitting and the host travels very early so I have to arrive the day before but he didn’t say that by arriving early I can stay at their house. Bearing in mind that the need to arrive a day before is from the HO, I must ask if I will be able to stay at the house. I’m not comfortable asking the question instead of the HO already offering me the stay. Another thing, they put the period 21-28/December but said they only come back on 04/January and that one of the daughters will come back on 28/Dec but they want us to stay at the house until 31/Dec because she doesn’t take good care of the dog. How should I ask if the daughter will stay these three days with us and she will be responsible for telling us how we left the house and the dog. I’m not comfortable with it either.
If your not comfortable, talk with the pet owner about them. Have a frank discussion with them. There is no point tying yourself up in knots then regretting you never discussed them properly.
After the discussion if your still not happy or feel uncomfortable, walk away. There’s plenty more sits out there.
Thank @ElsieDownie. I’m new on the website and I don’t know how the things works yet. But I’ll talk to the HO to get things clear.
You should inform the HO that the THS policy states there can be no third parties in the house while the sitter is there. As for coming the day before, ask if you’ll be staying in the guest room that night. If not, you can tell them you weren’t planning on paying for accommodations before the sit started. Actually, the dates of the sit should include any days you are expected to arrive early or stay later. If the HO offers to have you stay at the house the night before or offers to pay for a hotel/B&B the first night and consents to have the sit end on the original date, you can go ahead with the sit. If not, as @ElsieDownie says … have you seen all the postings for holiday sits??? You can have your pick.
Hi @Rosi as @mars has said TrustedHousesitters has a strict policy of no third party while a sitter is in the home, you need to explain this to the owner and if they need confirmation of what the policy is here is a link from the website Help centre.
Open and honest communication, making sure everyone is clear and comfortable with all aspects of the sitting arrangement before the sit starts is so important to make certain the sit is successful and the best experience for everyone involved, especially the pets.
There are many articles on the website blog to help and guide you through the process and of course our members here on the forum are incredibly helpful and supportive, after all we were all new once.
This is an issue too. You can tell the HO your concern here — that if you leave the home and dog in the care of the daughter and she does not do a good job, it could appear that you did a subpar job and that this arrangement does not sit well with you. The other alternative is you could send them pictures and videos of everything right before you leave— the bedroom (made with linens you have laundered-if you do), clean towels, the clean rooms, toilets, floors, the inside of the fridge and freezer (incl any food, beverages you have left them, plants/flowers you have bought them, a happy pet with clean, full water bowl, clean food bowl (with food if you feed the dog before you leave and video of the dog eating, a yard/garden that has had all the p**p (Discourse censored this word LOL) picked up, etc., all the evidence that you have done a good job. Whew … I’m worn out just writing all this! 
Do what your gut tells you. If this feels wrong, walk away.
Thank you very much @Angela_L and @mars for all the information and tips. I didn’t know that THS has a strict policy of no third party while a sitter is in the home and I think the HO doesn’t know too. I’ll talk to the HO to get things clear.
Good luck getting everything straightened out. Personally this would be a lot of red flags for me and would have me reconsidering doing the sit. Make sure you’re 100% comfortable with everything that is happening and that the rules will be followed before you agree to move forward.
I agree with CreatureCuddler.
You have seen more red flags than you need to see.
Don’t even get into a discussion about third party residents. They will just argue that the daughter is a resident. At that point the relationship has a negative tone.
Go with your gut. Decline now while you can.
Holiday listings are falling off the tree. Find a good one.
Hello, I would just ask directly about the possibility to stay at the house if it’s a day early. Personally, if this wasn’t possible then I wouldn’t do to the sit (as it’s a change to the originally advertised sit). Ditto with the extended days and the daughter arriving to stay! It would not be acceptable to me…and I would politely tell them so. Don’t feel obliged to get roped into extras and changes that you are not comfortable with. A polite but firm NO is perfectly acceptable…
They are assuming far too much on your part and potentially taking you for granted (which may continue once you are there…)
I agree with you. This doesn’t sound right at all
If it was only about arriving the night before the sit, I would say this is something to be talked about during a video chat.
I state in my listing that, depending when we leave the house, an a day early arrival is necessary for a unrushed walk through the house and getting to know the cats. But for sitters traveling as a couple, to spend the night before the sit in our house, soon will not be possible anymore, because the one bedroom with two mattresses will be remodeled to only one bed. The dates of the sit, however, I would not extend. Were the sitters will spend this first night and who pays for it, is something that can change from sit to sit and also it depends on the preferences of the sitters. There’s no “rule” how this has to be handled.
You wrote:
“Bearing in mind that the need to arrive a day before is from the HO, I must ask if I will be able to stay at the house. I’m not comfortable asking the question instead of the HO already offering me the stay. Another thing, they put the period 21-28/December but said they only come back on 04/January and that one of the daughters will come back on 28/Dec but they want us to stay at the house until 31/Dec because she doesn’t take good care of the dog. “
@Rosi , how did this work out? Was the HO able to accommodate you? Is the sit still on?
Enquiring minds want to know. 
Hello @mars and everyone! Reading the comments and suggestions here on the forum, I decided to cancel my application. I didn’t feel comfortable discussing the issues with the HO and preferred to avoid the red flags. Thank you so much for all the attention and tips! And I’m still looking for a Xmas sitting next where I live!
I think you made the right decision.
You want sitting to be a positive experience with mutual respect & a fair exchange.
Quite honestly, personally, I don’t like this particular part of the THS policy at all where it states there can strictly be no third parties in the house while the sitter is there. I would be very happy if this rule was removed! Simply, because it does not work well in practice. During my past sits, ALMOST ALL home owners wanted me to arrive a day earlier and/or stay a night longer, especially if they would leave very early in the morning and/or come back home late at night - and they always offered me a free bed and most often cooked dinner/breakfast for all of us and we all enjoyed this and benefited from it. Actually, with my next sit, starting in a week in Lisbon I encountered it for the FIRST TIME that a home owner wants to meet me the day before but did NOT offer me a bed. I guess she did it because she does not dare to break the rule. So I booked a hotel for the night before and will leave her cat alone hours before her owner will (hopefully) return. Which can lead to big problems in case her timely return is prevented by an accident or a flight cancellation or alike on her side! This has happened once in the past and it was life-saving for the cat that I could stay longer than planned. Perhaps the THS managers would reconsider this rule?
I agree with @dogangel.
I have accepted a sit in May. The advertised dates included the night before as they leave in the morning. They have asked me to arrive in the afternoon and have invited me to share their evening meal and a glass of wine. I will be staying in the guest room. This was all offered, discussed and confirmed in a WhatsApp video call. It left me feeling relaxed and comfortable. If I was not comfortable I’d have said no, and looked for another sit.
HI @Romana the policy only applies to anyone who remains in the home during the duration of the sit … for example owners may have a lodger who will be at home, an aged relative, we’ve even had teenagers remaining at home, this is what is meant by “third parties” this is NOT allowed, only the sitter(s) should be in the home for the entire stay.
NOT owners who welcome their sitters and offer accommodation the night before or on their return.