@Garfield This is exactly what happened on our second sit! We arrived the evening prior to their departure, to find them still packing. After a while, they said they were going to get a takeaway and asked if we wanted anything. We felt a bit uncomfortable about how to approach this: should we offer to pay for our own meals? Go halves? In the end, we declined, and we did sit on our bed whilst they ate and then finished packing. It makes me cringe to remember this! In retrospect, I think it was the way they phrased it. Had they said: “We’re going to order takeaway - our treat - what would you like?” it might have been more obvious about how to proceed but in the event, it felt very awkward.
We’re now on our 40th sit and we’ve had very many requests to arrive the day before the departure date. We always ensure this is included in the listed sit dates and enjoy sharing a meal with the pet parents - which they provide, or pay for. This request doesn’t seem to differentiate between dog and cat sits and more likely relates to early-departure plans.
We were once asked to arrive at around lunchtime, to accommodate an early afternoon departure. We agreed, and travelled some distance (our choice, I realise). When we arrived, we weren’t offered so much as a drink, but were instructed to take the dog for a walk whilst they ate their lunch (which they were busy preparing). We won’t be doing a return sit for those particular hosts (though we have been asked)!
I don’t spell this out when I have guests and ask them what pizza they would like.
Once I had couchsurfing guests that ate in my kitchen without inviting me. Then I started a discussion with them. To tell them that that is not the idea. They kind of tried to be unnoticed and not to be any kind of burden, but the point of such a stay is to talk and to enjoy eachother’s company.
We were once invited to a sit in Wales, where we’d need to arrive the day before departure and stay in their Airbnb. All looked good but, it meant we’d have a gap of a day between the end of this sit and the beginning of the next, so we asked if it might be possible for us to stay for another night. We were told yes, that would be fine, and the nightly rate was £225.00.
My first sit, I was asked to come and spend the night since they were leaving at 5 am. No dinner offered. My last sit, I was offered to come the night before, but I was on another sit nearby and could come very early. Sits started and ended same day. I have a sit in early Dec where they offered me dinner and the night before, which saves me a hotel. But first one for me to get dinner.
@Happypets & @Huronbase All the examples you both give of lack of hospitality are cringeworthy! What are some people thinking when they invite housesitters in? Just some free labour who should remain unseen & unheard till the hosts leave?!!
To avoid any/all these scenarios we always clarifiy all these details ahead of time. E g if invited the night before and no dinner is mentioned we will ask if they have any plans for a shared meal? Sometimes the HO has not considered that at all and makes a spontaneous invitation. On 2 occasions my husband even cooked a meal for us all on arrival when nothing else was organised or suggested! If the HO says something casual like ‘we can go out and eat’ without specifically saying they are inviting(i e paying for)us -we will check if they are!, even if that feels awkward to ask! Usually its ‘ofcourse its out treat’! But - we nwver assume anything if its not 100% clear-as once, a few years ago, we flew in long distance for a sit, drove several hours to the destination, were not offered an arrival drink (we had to ask for one) and when they took us out for dinner we discovered they were expecting us to ‘go Dutch’! (their words!) That was unexpected and caused an awkward monent! In the end they decided to pay for us but since then it is something we always clarify in advance!
Fortunately, in our experience, most hosts are friendly, generous and clear in their communication! Thankfully!
I don’t really mind about not getting dinner. And it doesn’t bother me if they don’t offer a bottle of wine, or whatever. I have only traveled around US so far, most of it in CA. My big gripe is when I don’t get enough freezer space. I am traveling with food generally and I would like to put it somewhere if I am there for a week or more. And since I am traveling, I have cold packs that need freezer room. I would rather have freezer room than a dinner from host.
I’ve made life long friendships with hosts and sitters by staying the night prior to hosts leaving (or myself if I have sitters). The few times when it hasn’t occurred, its never felt the same and one in particular, when the host wasn’t present when I arrived, was the house that wasn’t clean. It was like she knew it was bad and didn’t want me to face it until after she’d left the state.
Hospitality and good manners dont have to come with a hefty price tag. I can understand people can be socially inept or have dietary requirements that might be complicated but as with anything in our human existence, clear concise communication is key.
The original poster took offence with the sitter asking a question, with which they clearly explained to the host what she normally experiences when housesitting. The hosts dont share this same commonality but clear communication is key. I feel the sitter was right to explain and ask if this sit would be like most of their other sits. They know from actual experience that arriving the night prior and sharing a meal is a valuable connection and gives a chance for relationships to form, communication to be had and a chance to participate in an equal exchange.
Personally, if I want someone to stay in my home and look after my pets, I want to shower them with generosity and welcoming kindness. They are doing a great service for me and by respecting their role it hopefully will reflect their commitment to my pets and home. And as a sitter I deserve to be treated with kindness and hospitality, most of my sits are thousands of kilometres away from my home that’s taken me effort and planning and cost to get to and fro. A bed and a meal and a friendly conversation is not a tall ask.
Yes, I always offer to pick them up the day before, help them settle in and cook them a meal to say thank you. Afterall, they’re doing you the bigger favour
I do this for my sitters - it gives me an opportunity to give them the run down of how to feed my dogs, how to put them to bed and show them a good walking spot etc. It also puts my mind at ease that my dogs have met them (rather than a stranger entering my home with my dogs already there on their own). I get us all a takeaway so we can chat and make them feel at home
A handover should always be discussed together. But here I have the impression that the sitter is making a demand and even wants to put pressure on you by making a comparison with other owners.
Perhaps think of it this way; the HO are leaving possibly their largest investment in the hands of strangers, their loved pet, and spending a bit of time with the sitter is reassuring.
This exchange is more than business; it requires a great deal of trust. I read that sitters are upset over security cameras and scrutiny however, when a HO leaves, they leave everything open to a stranger. Every cupboard, drawer, closet…family heirlooms, beloved pets and especially our personal space. An invitation to dinner is an invitation into a very intimate space.
I understand some HO are cavalier in respect of sitters, as some sitters use this platform for free housing.
I truly believe the majority of users have weighed and understand the situation of trust between parties and act in good faith.
Try to see the invitation as a hand of friendship.
We had a house sit in Majorca, the HOs wanted us there early, but they said they didn’t have a spare room for us to stay in overnight, we were travelling from the UK. It involved us paying for an hotel and a cab to their house in order to get there super early. They did have a spare room, so we were not impressed with the arrangement. Felt we were being treated like staff. This is the only time it has happened, most other HOs are flexible and accommodating.
As always, it’s your call.
That being said, I have been invited most times, to stay the night before. I even had a family throw me a birthday party, when I told them the date coincided. Most of my sits have resulted in repeats, referrals, and really good friendships. One vineyard even lets me come and stay whenever I want!
Maybe I’m guilty of doing a good job, (I’ve assisted a vet in field surgery in pouring rain, with a herd), or being an Aussie/Cali with a likable personality.
Whatever, everyone who’s taken the time to meet me, and get to know me, wants me to come back.
If you want reliability, consistency, and a job well done, might be something to consider.
@Happypets This is one of the many reasons that I always carry cash. It would have been easy to hold out some cash and say, “How much do I owe you?”
There would also had to have been some discussion about what food you wanted to order from the menu.
And some Owners would say, “You don’t owe me anything; it’s my treat.” Other Owners might say, “Uh, based on what you have ordered, with tax and tip, that will be $30.”
If you had arrived with groceries to make your own meal, you could ask if that would be okay. Better to be proactive and think about the possibilities and plan how you are going to react to whatever transpires, than to feel awkward about it.
@PVGemini , it’s now 38 sits ago and we’ve learned the ropes a bit since then, but thanks anyway, you’ve made some good suggestions which will surely benefit any other newbies who might encounter a similar situation.
@Chatsetchiens , while I agree that offering a ride from the airport, dinner, and a nights stay before the sit is common (a ride from the airport has been offered a handful of times and a nights stay and dinner before the sit has been offered on about half of my sits), it’s also very off-putting to ask or expect every HO to do the same.
Moreover, I recently came across a 4 star sitter that had 2 reviews (non-international sits) were such expectations were placed on the HO and made assumptions that these requests were due to financial hardship reasons. One HO even complained that they had to send an Uber for the sitter, who has had no sits since.
As a HO I would deny any application with stated expectations of a ride, dinner, and nights stay before the sit, yet would also offer such to my sitter.
As a sitter, I’d never ask for this (being picked up, staying the night before, having dinner). As a frequent traveler, I wouldn’t feel comfortable hosting a guest (sitter) the night before a trip … knowing I’d be doing last minute arrangements.
In 23 “sits”, I’ve only been asked to arrive 1 night early on 1 occasion.
As a host, I’d be a little put off by a sitter “requesting” what this sitter requested of you.
As others have written: so much depends on circumstances.
The circumstances of the Sitter, the HO, the location…
As HO we were asked for a night before/night after stay by Sitters.
As Sitters we have been offered early arrivals/late departures (usually because the HO wanted us there before they had an early departure or late return.)
As HO we always either offered a welcome meal or enough fresh food for a couple meals. As Sitters we’ve experienced wonderful generosity but also a sit where not even the most basic things (condiments, cooking oil…) were provided.
THS works best as a win-win-win for HO-Pets-Sitters.
There are no hard fast rules other than you provide a clean, safe, home and are honest about what you are providing/expecting so prospective Sitters can make a clear decision about whether or not to accept a Sit.
By the same token, Sitters can ask for or explain their prefs/needs so the HO can decide if they are the right fit!
Do what is comfortable for YOU, while being flexible/considerate to your sitters.
If you are either uncomfortable with a night-before stay, or ANY red flags are up about the Sitters, then you should follow your instincts and let the Sitter know that doesn’t work for you!
We arrived the evening prior to their departure, to find them still packing. After a while, they said they were going to get a takeaway and asked if we wanted anything. We felt a bit uncomfortable about how to approach this: should we offer to pay for our own meals? Go halves? In the end, we declined, and we did sit on our bed whilst they ate and then finished packing. It makes me cringe to remember this! In retrospect, I think it was the way they phrased it. Had they said: “We’re going to order takeaway - our treat - what would you like?” it might have been more obvious about how to proceed but in the event, it felt very awkward.
