They sound unstable and you made the right choice. I’m a sitter and I get a very healthy response to my applications, so it doesn’t bother me when HOs don’t reply or don’t choose me - just move on. If it’s any consolation, I just had to cancel a sit starting in 3 months because of family circumstances, and I got a curt reply from the HO (not rude or abusive!). But it wasn’t very gracious.
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I have learned the hard way (similar to what you have experienced @Alexandra), that it definitely can backfire when giving an explanation as to why I chose one sitter over another. Rather than explain and perhaps receive a “nasty” response, I now simply say something like “thank you for your application but we have decided to go with another.” I am also a sitter and I have learned not to take declines of my application personally.
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That is awful, Alexandra, and I would hope this is not at all representative of our community. It is great you took the time to give an explanation to the unsuccessful applicant. You have done nothing wrong. Some people are just jerks!
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As a sitter, what that sitter did was completely uncalled for in every shape and form and completely abnormal.
I’ve been declined with much less explanation and thanked the HO anyway and for at least telling me why. I always welcome feedback as to why.
I think you dodged a bullet. I don’t even consider myself the kindest person around, so I am always surprised to come across stories of such rudeness.
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Oh @sledgejoyce, so I am not the only one this has happened to. Maybe a little tutorial or crash course on “how to react or respond politely to a declined application” provided by THS on their website could help some, although I am sure that for most of us it’s common sense… It’s a shame for the people who would prefer a more personalised response, but I think next time I’ll probably copy and paste your “Thank you for your application, but we’ve decided to go with someone else”. It will save me some time and nerves.
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Hi @auderary Thank you for expressing your concern
Membership Services have been notified and the matter is being managed by a team specialist.
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Great to hear that someone is looking into this!
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Interesting discussion.
The only thing I would add is when we are interviewed as sitters and the HO’s repeatedly speak as if we are the only one’s in the running, or that it’s a “done deal”, I think it gives us the impression they have already decided to accept us and then to be declined is shocking.
For example, if during the interview the language used is “and we will ask you to…” “and you can keep your car here…” “and we think you will love the yard…” “your room will have this and that…”
So, using this language sounds like it only needs the official “accept” and we’re good to go. To be declined after phrases like these seems shocking.
I think it would be better to make sure it’s clear there are others in the running and consistently say “IF you are out sitters then…” “IF this works out, we think you would love the yard…”
Almost all of our video interviews resulted in getting the sit.
But one time in particular that we didn’t get it, it was really very surprising because of the language used during the video interview.
So, that’s all I would say.
Personally I would much prefer to know the actual reason why we weren’t chosen so that we can learn from this incase there is room for improvement on our end in terms of communication.
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Hi Alexandra. It sounds like you handled the situation well and I’m sorry you had to deal with a rude response.
I’m both a HO and a petsitter on this site.
As a petsitter, I don’t mind if someone does a simple “decline” or if they have an explanation. As the HO I immediately get back to people, thank them for applying, let them know how long I’m going to collect applicants and when I’ll arrange zoom/FaceTime calls. As soon as I’ve made a decision I let each person know. If it was a tough decision, I often will ask if I can reach out to them at a future point in time. It’s always gone pretty smoothly.
Your reasoning made perfect sense to me and if I had received your explanation I would have been fine with it. You will find that the process gets easier and much more intuitive as you go along. Best wishes for your dog’s first StayCation with TH.
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You did them a favor by letting them know your reasons. It lets them know if there is something they can improve for next time. Very short-sighted on their part as you won’t be keen to select them in the future.
I am a sitter and HO. I let people know why they didn’t make the short list. For example, there was a couple who looked very nice in their write-ups, but they were new so didn’t have any sitter reviews. However, they didn’t have personal reviews either, so I suggested they add some and it will help their chances in the future. They were appreciative and didn’t take personally.
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Yes a similar incident happened with me. I was shocked at the response I had gotten. I was polite and honest as to why we selected someone else and in response I got a harsh reaction.
It upset me for awhile and it has made me change my words when responding to those I decline vs being honest. Now I simply say ’ thank you for applying; however, we decided to select someone else’.
Your sitters response is not the norm, most are very grateful just to get a response back from a HO.
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Thanks @Peg for sharing, and yes, I didn’t mention it, but I did receive polite responses from the other 3 candidates that I had to decline (including one very nice response which implied that there might be a next time, and who I will certainly contact again). I am also sure that the sitter I have selected will be great. So all in all, thumbs up to THS and the amazing community of pet lovers.
PS: I am becoming a big fan of this forum. Kudos to the moderators.
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I had this happen once, and only once, in 8 years of finding THS sitters. I immediately marked them as unsuitable should they pop up again. No one is going to get far with that attitude. It tells me they care less about the pets and more about their vacation opportunity!
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I am sorry to hear you had such a hostile response from one of your sitter candidates. I can quite understand your reason for selecting the person who would be more likely to be spending a lot of time with your pets.
On the other side of the fence, I have also encountered occasional hostility when turning down sits. I was once approached to care for 12 pets, all of different species, within the one household. I felt that was a sit far more suitable for a family or a couple to give the level of care those animals deserve as that’s rather a lot for one person. It ignited the other person’s temper so from now on, I simply decline invitations with no explanation. Yes, it definitely does feel a bit cold to do it that way but I’ve found it eliminates any unwarranted backlash. At least, that has been my experience.
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I’m glad the sitter was reported. Nobody needs someone like that watching their precious pets.
So far all I have received are rejections (I have one sit that was actually arranged on Facebook and I asked them to move it onto here). But all have been so cordial and all have given reasonable explanations. In every case I wrote back thanking them for considering me and best wishes.
Edited to meet posting guidelines
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As a sitter, can I suggest that it is better for the HO to just express a sincere appreciation for their application and their time and say that the choice was difficult but you have chosen another applicant? I think we would all understand that. Although I have never reacted to a decline, I do feel that some reasons are insulting. For instance, I applied for a sit in a city that I had lived in for 15 years, in an area I knew quite well. The reason given was that I am dependent on public transportation and the homeowner did not believe I could reasonably socialise in the 4 hour window of leaving the pet each day. The thing is, I would not ever agree to a sit where the pet can only be left 4 hours, and then not adhere to that. I believe it was wrong for the homeowner to implicate that but she may have thought she was being thoughtful. One-way communication is never perfect and it is likely that any excuses will be countered in an applicant’s mind - so don’t make them. Having said that, I am not excusing the communication you found upsetting.
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Crikey…that’s totally out of order. Sorry that you received this reply. Well, at least you know for sure that you picked the right person 
I’m a sitter and always find it nice when I get a message back but it is never expected. In the event, that you have video-chatted to the person, I think a “really nice to meet you. Unfortunately we have gone for the other sitter this time” would be totally appropriate and if a sitter took it personally, it definitely means they weren’t the right person.
I mean you had to choose 1 application in the end so you have no choice but to decline the others. I don’t see how anyone could take it personally.
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Hi @Alexandra. As others have said that’s totally unacceptable from any sitter. When you join THS both HO and sitters need to accept they’ll get overlooked sometimes.
I actually got my best sit experience from getting rejected the first time round but thanking the HO for considering me. When the chosen sitter didn’t work out, they reached out to me a few months later.
Anyway sounds like you dodged a bullet.
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@Alexandra that’s all you really need to do. If you go on a job interview I doubt seriously you would be told the reason someone else received the job offer. It’s just not necessary.
This holds true if a sitter decides to decline a sit after an interview. No reason needs to be given other than we have made other plans.
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Well said.