I am a 63-year-old single man and have always sat as a sole sitter. I’ve always assumed that travelling alone makes me more attractive to owners. But is that actually true?
I’m curious about the extent to which I’d limit my appeal to owners if I said that I wanted to bring a friend, or wanted to sit as a couple. Does anyone know if there are figures on the number of sole v couple sitters? Is it possible that some owners actually prefer an arrangement with a couple, or with two friends sitting together, rather than have a single man in their house alone?
I’d also be curious about experiences relating to sitting as part of a same-gender couple. Does that often create difficulties? Sitting seems to immediately raise issues of personal intimacy, since typically owners will want to know whether to make available one bedroom or two.
Incidentally, rather than ‘same-gender couple’, I wanted to use a certain three-letter word beginning with ‘s’. The forum software wouldn’t let me!
Some hosts only take solo sitters but often they stipulate females for various reasons.
I have sat for many same-gender couples but I have no knowledge of acceptance rates if it is sitters applying.
To maximise your success you could list yourself as being available as either a solo sitter or as a couple/with a friend (indicate how many beds are required).
My husband and I are both male and are full time sitters.
As one of us is a terrible sleeper, and the other is a terrible snorer we always ask for the use of two bedrooms on our sits.
Yes, the fact that we are a same gender couple will lose us some sitting opportunities. Yes, the fact that we need two bedrooms will lose us some sitting opportunities.
However, it doesn’t matter, there are more than enough sits listed at any time to suit everyone.
During out time as sitters we have met many other sitters. Couples in relationships, sibling couples, friend couples, single sitters, sitters with children, sitters with their own pets. sitters in their 20’s, sitters in their 70’s, sitters on their very first sit, very experienced sitters…and so on
One of the best things about THS is that there are opportunities for everyone.
I think for rural sits couples are often preferred because of worries by hosts that a solo person will feel isolated. Our first two sitters in our rural France home were solo women and they were fine but our dog really enjoyed the couples because there was more than one person to engage with his border collie energy. We’re perfectly OK with gay couples and we have two bedrooms so check out the link in my profile if you want to visit the Pyrenees someday.
You will see lots of sits that have a preference for single sitters or couples , but from what I have observed, the majority of hosts don’t state a preference and appear to be open to anyone–though some may lean towards one or the other but don’t mention it.
I sit as a couple with my husband and we have a really high acceptance rate so in our experience, that there are two of us has not seemed to be any sort of disadvantage.
If a listing states the host prefers a single sitter I don’t bother applying even if they don’t clearly state why–sometimes they do and you just know that they are firm on that preference. In instances where they haven’t given their reasoning, perhaps they may be flexible; but with so many sits I don’t feel the need to focus on ones that are unlikely to be a fit.
And if I was sitting single, I likely wouldn’t apply to listings that state a preference for a couple for the same reasons.
When it comes to sitting with another person, there is a difference between a couple who sits together all the time, or a good deal of the time, and their reviews reference both of them, and someone who largely sits solo but then asks if a friend can come along to a particular sit.
Some hosts may be more reluctant in the latter instance, but some may be open to it. If you are applying to a sit where you would be interested in having someone come along with you, it would be good to mention this right upfront in the application message. Then you can know right away if they are open to it, saving both of you time.
If you plan to sit regularly with another person, then it would be a good idea to craft a profile that talks about both of you, has photos of both of you,etc…
@Gornalian I think it depends a lot on the type of sit as to the type of sitters hosts would prefer. E.g we frequently sit for large homes in the countryside, some quite isolated, or sits with multiple animals where it simply makes sense to choose couple sitters (in whatever form) for both practical reasons and also security. E.g If one partner gets sick or has an accident the other partner can still continue etc
HOs have many and varied reasons for choosing their perfect sitter. Some single women hosts might prefer a single woman sitter. Many of our hosts are a similar age to us (60s) and they may choose us knowing we have plenty of practical and life experience and have owned homes, and are landlords. Etc. Some younger people may choose younger sitters they resonate more with. Other young ones (like our very first host) may choose older sitters because they might feel they are more responsible parent-like figures!
From reading thousands of posts on the forum over the years it seems that absolutely anything goes! At the end of the day its often a gut feeling that is the decider.
So I would say continue applying for whatever you like, with or without a friend/partner and see what happens. If you do want to sometimes bring someone else it is usually recommended that you mention them in your application and in your profile and include them in any video call.
I sit solo as an older woman who telecommutes. I do only urban sits. I find it pretty easy to get sits with hosts who match well with me. With only one exception, they’ve been couples or singles, with apartments or (more often) large homes.
I am a female solo sitter, I’ve seen plenty of listings that specify single or couple for varying reasons. When reading reviews of prospective sits, I’ve seen a mix of single/couple sitters, suggesting many of the HOs were happy with both.
I was turned down for a sit because they wanted a couple to look after their cats.to be fair they did say couple wanted I was just being a bit cheeky .
I usually sit solo. In my listing I have a presentation also of my (adult) children and say that it will be clear in my application if they are included.
I have an upcoming sit where they will both take part in the sit, it was mentioned in my application and the host welcomed them.
I’ve had one sit where one accompanied me, it was a three dog sit and the host encouraged me to bring one of them, as it would be easier walking the dogs. I think they would have welcomed us all three if that was an option.
I have also applied for a couples wanted where the host apparently wanted the «couple» bit more than «two adults». Which is fine, also. I want a good match and that is a two way street.
I’ve also had a sit where I was ill, I managed fine with the pets and the home and got well after a few days, but a reminder that sometimes two could be safer.
Thanks for all these responses. Perhaps my assumption that single sitters are generally preferred over couples is ill-founded.
My question partly arises from a situation in which I agreed to a sit as a single person, then was asked by a friend if he could join me. I felt that asking the owners if I could bring a friend would put them in a potentially uncomfortable position, so I didn’t approach them. I rather feel that if you are accepted as a sole sitter then you should stick to that, rather than ask later to bring along a friend. I don’t know if anyone has views on that.
As an HO with a rural sit, two very social (read: needy) kitties, plus a few ducks and sheep, I lean toward couples. Two people are able to give our kitties more attention, and extra eyes on the property gives us peace of mind. I state this in our listing, but have never declined someone purely based on their sitting solo. It’s about connection, attitude, and experience.
I prefer when both people are mentioned in the profile and application and available for the video chat. It’s always reassuring to meet the people who will be living in our home and caring for our beasts. We make sure it’s clear we only have one bedroom to offer. I don’t need details, as long as they’re okay sharing a queen bed the rest is none of my business.
*Just saw your latest comment about asking later if someone could join you. I had that happen once and it did make me uncomfortable, but maybe because it was posed as “a guy I met recently and am kind of dating.” When I asked for more info about him the sitter withdrew the request. I found that really awkward! Maybe posed a different way would have a different outcome, but I’d still want to video-meet the friend. Our sits are long, usually 3-12 weeks, so it’s really important it’s a good match and known quantities all around.
I would not ask to bring someone after the sit is confirmed.
The other parthy might feel blindsided or pressured to do something they are not comfortable with.
For me it has been important that the host know when considering applications and that they have the option of a videochat with all that are taking part of the sit while considering applications.
My hosts have not requested to talk with my children although offered, but I think it is important that they got the option.
It might possibly be different in rare cases where the alternative could be to cancel the sit or similar, or if a repeat sit and we know each other.
The host I’ve applied for all preferred solo. Not sure why but if I add someone on my profile I’ll sometimes get rejected but there have been rare cases that the host did not mind
