I would appreciate some feedback on how more experienced home owners have reacted to the following situation. Yesterday during a video chat with a prospective sitter, who applied as “solo” sitter, asked if she could bring her roommate with her. I was surprised since It was not mentioned in the person’s application statement, and would have preferred knowing about this up front.. My listing does state either a solo or couple sit. It is a long sit (six months), and I am otherwise impressed by the individual. I recognize that having a partner or friend in a new place can be very important.
What bothers me is that she was not straightforward from the beginning. Should I consider this as part of this new experience? Any advice to offer?
She has provided me with the friend’s phone number. I’ve requested a personal statement and references and am in the process of scheduling a video chat with the second person for this evening.. I also have other potential sitters who are interested and am planning a virtual chat with them.
As a sitter I sometimes ask but I’m ok if house owner says no to a friend coming.it depends on a few different factors if they have a spare bedroom or if it’s a long sit as it can be lonely sometimes.but always ask at initial chat is preferable.
@ndbenay Does the applicant have excellent THS reviews and is there any mention of the roommate participating on any of them? THS has only this week introduced Duo Sitter Verification (which is optional). This may be something you insist they get for the friend.
Do any of your other applicants sound very promising and have numerous THS reviews, or are they all new sitters with only external references? Six months is a long time to be away so you really need to have confidence in who you would like to look after your home and pets for you. THS’s marketing is all about “free accommodation and travel” so do choose wisely. And remember it is an equal exchange so applicants will be “checking” you out too and need to agree to the sit on the site after you have confirmed them for it to be a confirmed sit.
I’d be hesitant too, but maybe the sitter thought of it after applying? 6 months could be lonely. No matter what, I’d want to see that the registered sitter has multiple excellent star and written reviews of pet care and plenty of experience taking care of a home/property. The roommate could potentially be a bonus? I’d much rather have two people here keeping my animals company and my home cared for so a lot would depend on the individuals and how confident I felt after speaking with them both. If this sitter seems like a great fit and meets all that criteria I’d give them the benefit of the doubt and schedule a chat with them both together and then see how I felt.
For 6 months two people are better. There have been posts here where a single person left a long sit as it got too lonely. Maybe the sitter’s friend didn’t know at the time of the sit if they would be available. I would talk to all the candidates you are interested in. I commend this sitter for asking you. Other sitters may just invite someone after they are there. They may text you to say, I invited my boyfriend for the week, you don’t mind, do you. Or they may not tell you at all.
We’ve had that go a few ways: 1 became 2, 2 became 1 and 2 became 4 for a few days. In those cases, it didn’t seem like much of a big deal to us and didn’t prove to be a problem. Sitters have lives and we don’t expect them to interrupt their lives more than they already are. We’ve also had sitters with guests we weren’t notified about (bad big problem for us) and sitters ask us if friends could stop by for a few days once a long sit was in progress (no big deal).
The fact that she asked during the video chat is 1) why we have video chats and 2) a very positive indication of her integrity. You had good vibes from her application and good vibes from the video call. You could presumably have said no to her question while, if she was being sneaky, she didn’t have to ask until the sit was already in progress when it would have been much harder for you to say no. A 6 month sit is a long time and it sounds like she’s given the sit length a lot of consideration (another good sign). For such a lengthy sit, I would think 2 would definitely be better than 1. Finally, you’ve arranged to chat with the roommate which is yet another good sign.
I think you’re being unnecessarily bothered by what seems a tiny hiccup to me.
It could be a benefit for the sit itself, if the friend can help out, or even step in if the sitter is ill a few days, for instance. Which could happen for such a long sit.
It is perfectly acceptable if you ask for a videocall with the friend before you decide. It could also be an advantage to ask for the friend to sign up as a duo member as suggested by @temba . Then the friend would invest more in the sit, as there would be a fee and a videocall. But don’t do that if you really don’t want that solution, then you just say «sorry».
I would factor in whether it is a sitter with lots of reviews. An experienced sitter with many good reviews would be less likely to risk her reputation.
Is your main concern that sitter only brought the friend up during the call? Or is it that you’d rather have a solo sitter than a couple?
If you’re actually happy to have a couple/two people then you still may have the right sitter. Perhaps she had not really thought it through, when applying, that 6 months could be long & lonely and, when you asked for a call, reality set in! You obviously liked the sound of this sitter enough to schedule a call, and you have now scheduled a call with the friend too. If the main sitter has great reviews, and the Co sitter comes across well on the video call, I don’t see a problem. I’d suggest you also speak to them together to see the dynamic between them. Even if the Co sitter is brand new they will be guided by the other one.
This is a very long sit and its important you feel good about your decision. Ask all the questions you need to feel confident in your choice of sitter. You could even ask the sitter herself why she didn’t mention the friend before. At least she asked you during the call and not post confirmation or even on the actual sit! Perhaps you are justover thinking things a little. But do whatever you need to do and trust your gut!
Nancy,
It sounds like you are handling it perfectly. I would want to know more about the second person too. Lots of good advice in this thread. Go with your gut. If you decide not to allow the roommate, make sure that the sitter is still a good fit.
you make it sound like this sit is in Siberia - I mean, who knows, maybe it’s super remote, but I would hope that anyone applying to a 6-month sit is excited about the location and if it’s in a city, knows how to find a community over a pretty lengthy period of time.
As for this situation, sounds like the sitter and her roommate are providing what the OP is asking for (interview, references), so hopefully this will work out.
I have a large family, many of whom live in close proximity. I love them, but I solo sit because I appreciate the quiet solitude it provides. HOs who are new to this arrangement, should establish criteria they are comfortable with for their home, pets and family with the focus on finding the right sitter rather trying to attract lots of sitters. Good HOs, should be considerate of the sitters needs, but the sitter is capable of deciding what those needs are. The expectation for a sitter to “isolate” themselves is perfectly reasonable if that is what the sitter agreed to. However, there is quite a difference between isolation and not bringing guests into the home. The sitter can still go out in public go for a hike, lunch, happy hour or any other outing they choose solo or with a friend.
This is most likely someone who usually sits on their own, (and therefore has a profile and initial application which reflect that) but on this occasion would prefer to have company, which is why they’ve brought it up during your video call. To me as a sitter, it would make good sense to take someone along with me for at least some of the time on a longer sit. That could be a partner, friend, family member, ie. someone who might not appear as a regular fixture on my THS profile.
From your point of view as a home owner, having two people there on a long sit would most likely be beneficial – you’ll have back-up automatically in place should anything go wrong. You are absolutely right to request references etc. for the second person, and to schedule a video call. At the end of the day, just because you’ve found the original sitter through the THS platform, it doesn’t necessarily make them any ‘better’ or any more verified than someone you find elsewhere. The platform is simply a matching site – it’s up to you to do your due diligence, and trust your instinct when it comes to finding the right sitter/s for your listing.
I have applied as a solo sitter, then asked, because circumstances changed, if my daughter could stay with me. Like this summer, when her dive assistant position was canceled last minute due to the NSF cuts. She was expected to live on Catalina and then didn’t have a place to stay. All HOs were fine and offered us 2 guest bedrooms. All large homes. I applied to my holiday sit as bringing her upfront because that was the plan. So it could happen either way.
Totally up to your preference….doesn’t sound like there’s anything untoward happening and 6 months is a long time to be alone. Also sounds like the sitter has brought this up during the application period, which sounds fine.
You asked for/sitter volunteered all the things I would ask for.
Additionally, for a 6-month sit, I also would not think it at all unreasonable for a sitter to ask if they would be allowed to have guests during their stay….they can’t leave so having folks come to them would make sense….for me, so long as I know exactly who is coming over/will be in my house/around my pet and have details for all parties present, I’m ok with it.
Honesty and transparency go a long way.
In reverse, if I was doing a sit for half a year and HO told me I am not allowed to have any guests and and had to spend the entire period alone, I would potentially be concerned…that’s a long time to expect one to be kept in isolation.
Ultimately, go with your gut. If you already like the sitter, and you feel they’re trustworthy, I wouldn’t overthink it.
Did the sitter ask if her roommate to stay for the entirety of the sit? That is how I read your post, but many commentators seem to think the sitter was just asking if she could have visitors during the sit. The 2 requests are very different.
In the case of occasional visitors, I would probably agree for a sit of this length. If she was asking to have someone accompany her the whole time, I would be concerned that this was not mentioned in the initial application. Sure, maybe she only thought about it after applying, and maybe she would be OK if you said “no.” However, I would look at other sitters if I were in your position.