Lots of issues with my first sitter

Owner Questions, Advice & Chat
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Some backstory: I’m in my 30s and have 2 elderly chihuahuas that I got when I was in my early 20s, still married and had a way different career. I now travel for work and my ex can no longer watch my dogs when I’m away. This is truly my only option short of rehoming my animals. I’m also a new homeowner.

Current sit is until a 59 day sit that was listed for a female solo traveler and I was clear that I didn’t really want guests. We agreed on this weeks prior and had a great interview. 6 days out from the beginning of the sit, my sitter states that her BF has some serious health issues and he may need to come to my house from time to time..weird but I called and I said that if it’s a once a week thing, then I can compromise. I told her to let me know when these visits occur. It is a long sit and she is local. However she is absolutely not required to be at my home 24/7. I don’t even have house chores to keep up with and my pups just sleep most of the day.

We are two-ish weeks into the sit and she was pushing me to allow him over more. I politely told her I’d like to stick to our agreement but this also prompted me to look at my cameras because I’m starting to feel really stressed and uncomfortable. She has had him over way more than the one time she texted me. I can also see that she doesn’t like that I having them there and they were fully disclosed. I also checked my front door because I’ve had an issue with my post office holding my mail. I also saw that she left my dogs outside unsupervised and they got across the street and she had to grab them. I guess I’m trying to figure out how to approach this without seeming creepy and I also just wish I didn’t have her in my house anymore. What should I do? She also doesn’t really ever update me or correspond with me unless it’s something about her boyfriend being able to come over..this is so stressful.

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Contact membership services and discuss with them. Their contact info is at the bottom of your THS dashboard.

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I have already and they said they can’t enforce anything with guests because we don’t have a written agreement. I’m more concerned about my dogs safety but I don’t want to seem like a creep like I’m watching her. I’m truly not.

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That seems like a wrong answer from support. The THS Ts & Cs state no third parties unless by prior agreement so if you’ve said occasionally and it’s more, then she’s breaking that. Do you have a screenshot of what you agreed? If so send it to MS and ask them to contact the sitter for you and advise not to continue and/or can she please leave the sit. #tryitagain

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I’m not sure what you told member services, but maybe you didn’t explain things as clearly as you have here.We all need to abide by the rules/agreement that we sign up for to be on this site, those t&cs form part of your agreement. And on top of that (like with your sit), you have additional rules that you have agreed between yourselves (like a lot), those form your agreement. If she’s asked about her BF multiple times, then you surely have those convo’s in writing in the form of messages, and she has breached your rules that have been agreed upon. So if that’s the case, and you have any form of messages, get back in touch with member services and give them that proof, and say you want to her to leave asap. Having any guests without your consent is unacceptable, it’s clear and simple, it’s a breach of rules.

Also, if you feel the welfare of your pets is at risk, ie at the front door unsupervised, then that could potentially also be a reason to get her to leave, depending on the full story, or whether it was because a certain situation arose, as there may have been a rational reason, only she knows the answer.

For the future, given your sits are 2 months long, then perhaps re-think your guest rules. In 2.5 years of sitting full-time, we’ve only wanted guests on 1 occasion (because we meet up in a cafe/bar instead), but a lot of sitters on here have guests a lot more often than us, especially if they are sitting for an elongated time, and especially if they are sitting on their own. Or swap to having a couple sitting, I’d imagine, like us, they don’t feel the need to have additional guests as much.

Also for the future, if someone is sitting on their own singularly and has a BF, you need to be crystal clear whether they are the right person for you for a 2 month long sit. It’s a huge time to go without relaxing in a home together, watching TV, etc, etc, etc.

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It has been proved that advice from Membership Services is inconsistent. Push to speak to a Manager. That response isn’t good enough. The Terms and Conditions are there for a reason.

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I hope that you appreciate that THS or housesitters are not duty bound to somehow solve your pet care challenges. If THS does not fit your needs then you could hire a professional.

Housesitting is a trade. Seemingly requirement for no visitors for a female solo housesitter for 59 days strikes us as a big “ask”. Suspect this would terminate interest of the niche subset of eligible (volunteer) housesitters. Hope that there is a commensurate “give”.

Agree with @Cuttlefish - provide evidence to THS MS. Encourage reflect on your ideal outcome - do you want housesitter to leave? and what topics are dealbreakers/comprisable - do you want housesitter to stay? Would you rather hire a professional?

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Just as I am not a landlord and in return they are receiving free and very nice accommodation. I have no obligation to her personal issues that have caused this either. And I’ve never told her any of mine because it’s not her problem. I just get comments like “why do you even have dogs” which is why I felt the need to explain that at the beginning. This is also more now about not trusting this person and how she continues to push boundaries which is an additional layer of stress. I already have a really hard time asking anyone for help and have been very appreciative of her regardless. I’ve been incredibly kind to her. I do want a fair exchange. But I’m not even getting the bare minimum of updates, pet safety or my boundaries being respected. All I get is word salad about HER personal issues. She shouldn’t have accepted the sit under the agreed upon terms. I can clearly see she let my dogs out to the backyard, went inside and left them out for 8 or so minutes unsupervised. My front camera picked them up running through the road and across the street. I also discussed and it’s in print to never leave them outside unsupervised due to my driveway not having a gate. I probably won’t ever use this service again because it’s been nothing but stress for me. And now I feel trapped.

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@Aelin

Sorry to hear about this situation . If the sitter is breaking your agreement regarding third parties then you can give them notice to leave .

You can inform THS of this and explain the reasons why also ask them to amend the end of sit date . The Urgent Support Phoneline will be the best way to contact them. As @Maggie8K has pointed out these contact details are at the bottom of your dashboard.

You will need to make your own arrangements for the rest of the sit - if you are not happy with THS and are unable to return home yourself then a paid service pet sitting service may suit you better .

(I assume that these are outdoor cameras as internal ones are not permitted on THS ? )

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Hi @Aelin

You’ve had some great advice here, I hope it helps.

I just wanted to let you know that I was able to see that you’ve been in touch with us about this, so I’ve asked the team to review the ticket and make contact with you.

Jenny

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I do feel for you @Aelin as you are not at all happy with the sitter you chose and I understand why where she has created a safety concern re your elderly dogs and has broken the agreement re BF visits. This proof needs to be provided to THS as recommended by other members.

I think one of the issues has arisen because you chose a local sitter, yet your listing asks for a female solo traveller. Had you selected someone not local, the chances of them having guests would be minimal.

If you can source other care for your much-loved elderly dogs, then I think you will have much more peace of mind. Hopefully more helpful support from THS will be forthcoming.

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I think the boyfriend subject should have been discussed before sit confirmed and she just sprung it on you. However I do a lot of local sits as a solo sitter and there is no way I would a 2 month local sit where visitors are not allowed. The best sits are when the owners tell me to treat their home like my own. That’s exactly what I do. I rarely have guests. My son sometimes stays and the odd time a friend would pop around for a coffee, but I would not like the idea of having to inform the home owner every single time. I think you will drive yourself crazy trying to micro manage this girl. I hope you can end the sit for your own peace of mind.

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“Local” being the crux issue with visitors and the main reason why we will not choose a local sitter. Having someone we’ve never met or vetted suddenly staying over in our home under less than forthright circumstances was very unsettling and uncomfortable.

For some reason, some sitters on this forum try to downplay this violation of trust. Forget about that. The T&Cs are crystal clear on whether visitors are allowed and this is a case where those T&Cs are being grossly violated. In our case, I can say the visitor issue was only the most visible of other very concerning issues we only became aware of after returning home.

As tough as it would be, I’d arrange for a different sitter using THS support to assist.

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Agree 100%

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Her personal issues are that she wants her boyfriend to sleepover. His “health issues” are a smokescreen. Like as not, their housing is unstable or nonexistent and your 59 day sit a temporary reprieve. I would do all I could to get both of them out.

I would add that we’ve had no issues with non-local sitters in our home on multiple occasions for extended stays. Whether you use THS again is obviously your call but I have not been able to identify an alternative that does not carry the same plus additional risks. Stick with non-local sitters and your current concerns become moot. Two month sits are usually quite desirable to full-time nomad sitters who also tend to be outstanding as well. Best of luck in future.

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Many home owners want local sitters. I guess thar is why I’m asked back so many times. It is unreasonable to ask a local sitter to do a 2 month sit without visitors and I would not dream of accepting. I always clear it with the home owners, many of whom have become friends. If anyone said that no guests were allowed, that would be me gone. To expect a solo sit to be there for 2 months without any guests is a huge ask.

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I’m just curious if you asked this local sitter why she wanted a 59 day sit and what was her answer. Also, how far away from her home is this in driving time? She does have a car, right? I take local sits meaning within two hours from me but all under a week. I am in a new state and even two hours from me is a completely different environment.

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I did a three-month sit and was told (without me even asking) that I was welcome to have guests. If I had family or a friend visiting they were welcome to use the extra guest bedroom or very large, comfy sofa to stay overnight. They also said if I wanted to go away for a 2-3 days during the sit for a break to just let them know and they would get someone to fill in.

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This sounds a horrible situation to be in. Also, did she ever give you a reason as to why, as a ‘local’ sitter, she wanted a two month sit in her home area? Is there anyway you can head back and get into your home and personally give her notice to leave - perhaps taking someone with you for support? Or can someone else nearby do so, and maybe stay with your dogs, or can you pay a registered minder daily to look after/walk your dogs, until you can sort something else out?

As an aside - I don’t think the issue is whether a sitter can or cannot have visitors for 2 months. Ultimately, the sitter agreed to the HO’s personal T&Cs - and then reneged on this, once she had her foot in the door. I personally would get rid of her - I would not have someone in my home whom I could not trust.

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I agree. But having had a bad experience with a local sitter and their surprise SIGO, it’s not an ask because we are simply not interested in a local sitter. I have no doubt there are great sitters who stay local but the odds of a sitter turning out to be a terrible fit go up substantially if they’re local. It is not worth the bother.

OTOH, we have had sitters on long sits ask mid sit if friends could come over and spend a weekend. We were fine with that. The key difference for us was that they were not being sneaky, dishonest or coercive in their ask. Sneaky, dishonest and coercive are what the OP’s current sitter is being now as was our sole local sitter. Lesson learned, school’s out.

Having a stranger in your home requires a measure of blind faith and trust from a host. A sitter violating that trust is, for us, intolerable.

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