Sleeping with dogs & early morning dog walks – not discussed before arrival

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Hi everyone,
I’d really appreciate some advice on how to approach this situation in a respectful and balanced way.

After arriving at the sit, the homeowner informed me that they expect all five dogs to sleep in the same room with me, and that the dogs should be walked early in the morning at 7:00 am. These expectations were not discussed during our video call prior to confirming the sit, and I didn’t think to ask about them at the time.

For context: there are five dogs — they are small — but I am a very light sleeper and I’m genuinely not comfortable sleeping in the same room with animals. The house is large, with several bedrooms, plus a separate guest house, and there is also a big private garden and open territory. Besides for the context it’s also 4 cats, caged birds (6), chickens (3) and fish (many). But i’m supposed to take care only about dogs and cats, still 9 in total, haha, :sweat_smile: rest will do the housekeeper.

I communicated that I’m uncomfortable sleeping with the dogs in the same room. When I later asked whether it might be possible to walk the dogs in the evening around sunset instead of early in the morning, the homeowner responded with:
“You cannot change everything.”

I understand that routines are important, and I’m not trying to change everything. At the same time, these points were not mentioned before the sit was confirmed, and I’m hoping to find a compromise that works for both sides and allows me to rest properly and do my best as a sitter.

I’m planning to discuss this again with the homeowner tomorrow, but I’d appreciate hearing how others would handle this situation.
Is it reasonable to ask for alternative sleeping arrangements and some flexibility with walking times when these expectations were not communicated in advance?

Thank you in advance for your insights.

PS House owners are eldery people, in their late seventies.

2

How long is the sit?

I think you might just have to walk the dogs as early as you can (8am?) and chalk it up to experience, next time ask before you confirm the sit.

The compromise is: hopefully you can sleep in a separate room, but then you would compromise by walking the dogs early in the day. In my experience, most good housesitters try and keep to the schedule as much as possible.

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3

Agree with @botvot. As a sitter it’s important to keep the routine as close as possible. Would 8am work for you?
The owner should have disclosed this + the sleeping arrangements during the video call, but at the same time you should have asked.
It’s a shared responsibility.
II hope you will find a solution that works for everyone.

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4

I think these are normal things with dogs. Not all dogs etc, but does happen with so many dogs, that it is also your responsibility to check. (While I wish that hosts would write this in their listing). “You cant change everything” is rude and inconsiderate, I would expect bad review and also would dock a star on communication. And write “we had lovely 7am walks with the dogs, as owners asked us” or whatever, in a way to warn other sitters without sounding negative.

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@Anveroggi Why did you feel the need to mention the HO’s age? We’ve seen outrageous behavior by people of all ages described on this forum. No age group has the corner on obnoxious behavior, nor is there a correlation.

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I have learned to ask always about sleeping arrangements, also of the pets. I decline sits where pets are expected to be in the bedroom.

Yes, it has happened that the dog needed to go out early in the morning. Sometimes so early that I went back to bed. On other sits I took dogwalks past the bakery to get fresh brötchen/croissants etc.

I will never take more than two dogs.

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7

Since you feel strongly about these things, I hope you will remember to ask specifically in the future.

Frankly I always ask where the pets sleep (and I welcome critters in my bed) and the time of walks is basic information. The host should have conveyed it and you should have asked.

My advice: If this is a short sit, suck it up and get up ealy to walk the dogs. Why not try sleeping in the room with them? Maybe it will be fine. Maybe you can nap during the day? If it is a long sit and you can’t compromise, give time for the owner to find another solution and cut your losses.

There is a HUGE difference between 7am and early evening. That is not compromising. That is changing something radically.

Good luck.

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Suggesting that dogs be walked in the evening rather than the morning because you want to sleep in isn’t reasonable and is unfair to the dogs.

If they’re used to sleeping in the bedroom, if they are suddenly no longer able to do this, they will make their dismay known and you’ll get even less sleep than you would if you allowed them into the room at night. And again, it’s not fair to the dogs to suddenly disrupt their routine.

Flexibility and compromise is part of the exchange, as is compassion for the animals that are under your care. If these sorts of things are deal breakers you need to spell it out way before you bring your bags inside the house.

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9

Hi @Anveroggi

For this sit, I suspect that in the long run, you will find it better to stick to the dogs’ routine.

Changing sleeping arrangements is likely to lead to barking and howling in the night if the dogs are used to having the owner present. Likewise, changing their walking routine could lead to messing in the house.

It’s probably just simpler to change your own routine, rather than theirs. Learn from the experience, and remember to ask the relevant questions next time around.

Good luck, and let us know how things pan out.

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How many dog sits have you done before @Anveroggi ?

We also don’t sleep well with pets in the bedroom - so we ask where the pets sleep in our application.

In our experience of 40 sits —walking a dog first thing in the morning is quite usual . I also wouldn’t consider 7am to be “early”

There are many reasons for this

1st and most importantly to relive themselves after many hours without being able to do that overnight . (So walking them in the evening doesn’t solve this )

2nd , depending on location , it may be too hot later in the day to walk them safely.

3rd - with five dogs to control on a walk , it may not be practical to walk them later due to pedestrians, traffic etc .

4th During a sit keeping to a pet’s routine as much as possible helps them to settle while their owners are away . For that reason we always ask about a typical day when we are having a video call and before we accept a sit . If it’s not something that we can stick to, we withdraw our application.

Even if the owners say yes you can walk them at 7:30 or 8 am , if they are young healthy dogs they likely will be awake and nagging you to go out at 7 if that is their usual routine . Again speaking from experience-with dogs that are usually walked at 7 - we can hear them waiting outside the bedroom door at 6:50 am and if we haven’t appeared by 7 - they will bark just to remind us that it’s time to go out.

It would be cruel not to take them outside at least to relieve themselves at that time .

Depending on the home ( is it an apartment so you have to walk them somewhere to relieve themselves / or is there a yard or garden where they can go outside ?) At least let them out at the usual time 7am .

Chalk this one up to experience and next time ask the necessary questions for your own comfort before confirming a sit , ( where do the pets sleep , when are the exercised , where , for how long , what time are they fed, how long can they be left alone for ? )

It’s unfortunately too late for this sit. You have agreed to be there to take care of the pets and should keep to their usual routine .

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Where the dogs sleep and the walking habits are 2 musts for discussion before a sit. Given that it is five dogs, I don’t understand what either of you were thinking and why this conversation didn’t happen. I grew up in a city where “walking” included short walks so that dogs could pee and every single dog I’ve owned or cared for required a morning walk, so I’m baffled by this whole deal.

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Hi @Anveroggi

This does sound like a genuinely tricky situation, and you’re being very reasonable in how you’re trying to handle it.

Sleeping arrangements and daily routines (especially early morning walks) are not small details — they’re material parts of a sit and should really be discussed and agreed before confirmation. Many sitters are perfectly happy sleeping with pets; many aren’t. Neither is right or wrong, but it does need to be clear upfront.

One small thing worth reflecting on for future sits: the age of homeowners isn’t really the determining factor here. What matters is expectations, communication, and fit — and those apply equally, regardless of age or life stage. This is one of those experiences that helps highlight which questions are important to ask before confirming a sit.

You’re not asking to “change everything”. You’re asking for basic comfort so you can rest properly and do a good job caring for the animals. That’s a fair request, especially given the size of the house and the alternative sleeping options available.

Routines do matter, but flexibility matters too — and compromise works both ways. When expectations are introduced after arrival, it’s reasonable to revisit them and look for solutions that work for both sides.

If a workable compromise can’t be reached, it’s okay to acknowledge that this sit may simply not be the right match — that’s not a failure, just part of the learning curve we all go through as sitters.

:paw_prints::heart:

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13

As other have said, you should have been clear on walk times before accepting the sit. It is no use now blaming the owners for not telling you. This is what video calls are for, to find out important details. You should have asked. I am sure you get up to go to the toilet in evenings at a time that suits you, and would not appreciate being told, “No, you will have to wait 12 hours.”

If the dogs are used to sleeping in the room with owners, then why should that change to suit you? Surely the whole idea of having house sitters is so that the dogs routine can be the same, only with different humans?

I would suggest you suck it up, and ask the relevant questions before any future sits.

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14

You’ve had great advice here. Swapping their early morning walk for an evening one isn’t appropriate, the dogs routine would be totally and completely out of sync then, so I’m not surprised by their response.

Most profiles mention when 7am walks are needed and the dogs in bedroom scenario, so they should have included it in their profile, but likewise if that knowledge was a deal breaker for you, then you should have asked prior to accepting or pop it in your profile.

So personally I’d just continue with the sit ‘as is’. In the grand scheme of things, it’s just 1 sit in a blue moon where this sort of thing happens.

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15

Are you relatively new to sitting, @Anveroggi ? What did you discuss in the video call, prior to confirming the sit? We routinely ask where the pets sleep (both dogs and cats) and what their usual day looks like. We also ask about their diets, whether dogs are allowed on furniture and if any areas of the house are out-of-bounds for them. We ask about any potential behavioural issues and whether there are any health issues. In short, we want to have a good idea of what to expect so that we can ascertain whether or not we’d be a good fit, so we’ll clarify these important points and explore anything mentioned in the listing which we want to know more about.

Since you didn’t discuss where the dogs sleep or details of their usual routine, this oversight isn’t just the responsibility of the HO. The HO hasn’t requested that the dogs sleep on the bed with you, just that they should be in the same room. Whilst you may not find this ideal, it’s likely to be the best way to get them all to settle and so let you have the best possible sleep yourself.

How can you think of this as a reasonable compromise? Dogs - especially small ones - need to keep to their usual toileting routine and suggesting that they should be walked in the evening rather than first thing in the morning just doesn’t make sense. Besides, they surely need to go out in the evening AND in the morning?

You’ve committed to look after living creatures but it sounds as if you’re attempting to adjust their routine to suit your own. I feel you should chalk this one up to experience and provide the care they need. You can perhaps give some outline in your review of what is actually expected on this sit which wasn’t previously communicated, but please do accept that some of this is your responsibility, too.

I hope you are able to enjoy the company of all these lovely animals, and the rest of the sit.

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16

I hope they offered you a King size bed at least. I assume these are smaller dogs because 5 dogs is a lot! In the future always ask where the pets sleep and what time their morning care begins. Yes it would be nice if HO listed it upfront but if they don’t the responsibility is yours to check.

I don’t think switching the dogs walk from morning to evening is fair (and would probably leave you with 5 cranky dogs all day), but offering a split walk with a shorter morning walk a little later in the morning and then a longer evening walk would have been better.

I just put in my listing that my dog wakes up between 6 am - 6:30 am and expects breakfast around then. I don’t care if sitters go back to sleep after that and walk her later but if they can’t or don’t want to get up that early to let her out and feed her then they can skip applying.

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17

@Anveroggi is this the same sit you posted in a previous thread where the kitten went missing?

https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/challenging-sit-missing-cat-repeated-dog-escapes-how-would-you-handle-this

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It’s reasonable to ask for changes when expectations were not disclosed upfront. Sleeping with multiple dogs and a fixed early walk time affect rest and performance, so propose clear alternatives like a separate room and adjusted walk timing, and see if they agree. If they won’t compromise and you can’t function well, it’s okay to say this sit is not a good fit and protect your sleep and boundaries.

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19

oh yes! Put these things on your list to discuss at your initial phone call/video chat for all future sits. If the dogs are used to walking in the morning but you prefer evenings then that would probably be a sit you should pass on. If the dogs must sleep with the sitter then that is probably a sit you should pass on. We learn something from each sit, whether it is something to add to our interview questions or something we should add to our list of things to bring along. For example we just did two back to back sits where there were no washcloths or tissues at either place. So now we will always make sure to have these supplies along with us just in case. For the record we don’t like sleeping with pets in the bedrooms either. I forgot to ask once on a last minute sit and when we tried to close the dog out of the bedroom he wouldn’t stop barking. I ended up sleeping with him on the couch the whole rest of the sit. Comfy couch fortunately. There was no mention of it in the other sitter reviews but it was my own fault for not double checking with the HO.

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No, it’s already a different one.