I’ve yet to encounter baby rats on any sits. I think I’d faint dead away.
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Oh that war cry! How many times have I slammed a drawer and screamed that. Knives as well. We carry a knife sharpener with us now. How on earth do they prepare food with such blunt knives.
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The whole of the downstairs is tiled and the cat chooses to vomit all over the one and only rug! 
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- The olive oil bottle will always contain just enough for one meal—and it will be the first meal you try to cook.
- The rubbish bin will always be full on arrival, mysteriously just shy of being your responsibility, yet also undeniably now your problem.
- Any bad pet behaviour, no matter how dramatic or destructive has never happened before.
- The “fully fenced” garden will always have one suspiciously loose panel… which the dog/cat will discover before you do and manage to get out.
- The houseplant you’re told “doesn’t need much care” will look visibly unwell within 24 hours of your arrival and now it’s becomes your job to revive it.
- The cat, having spent all day ignoring you, will suddenly insist on sleeping on your face at 2 am.
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With me, it’s more often “What in the name of Gordon Ramsay is THIS??”
You will only discover after you’ve carefully soft-boiled your egg that the HO has no egg-cups.
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