@idocsteve Considering what you have written about this sitter, I’m really wondering why you chose her. She must have come across very well in the video chat and in her application as well as her reviews plus given you confidence she could manage all the pets, your home and pool.
We’ll never know whether any of her other hosts chose to gloss over their experience with her; only you know your experience which you chose to gloss over.
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I chose her because she had a solid history of 5 star reviews and felt she could be trusted with caring for our property and pets and assured us she was up to the task after we went through all of the responsibilities.
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I’ve only just had time to skim-read through this, so apologies if I am off the mark here. It does look like this was a huge amount of work for just one person to take on these new responsibilities and get up to speed with them - and it sounds like she may simply have become overwhelmed.
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@Heeju, really sorry to hear about your experience. Please note that THS has a formalized Member Dispute process. Either party can initiate. There are clear information submission and protocol requirements. Suggest read and assess whether you wish to initiate.
There’s a half way house between giving 5 stars and a 1-2 star review. You had the option of at least reducing to 3 or 4 which would have been reasonable, with a carefully worded summary.
Also, if no one is honest then how does the sitter know she needs to up her game? She presumes she is doing a great job!
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I considered all of those possibilities, leaving a 2 star, a 4 star, no review.. I considered contacting her a few days later to point out all of the issues we found.
I made the decision to do nothing other than leave a 5 star review for the reasons stated.
And yes, the clueless sitter will have no idea she needs to up her game, but my thought is she wouldn’t change a thing.
To add- we spoke with our neighbors a few days after the sit, and were telling them about the condition of the property, especially the plants. They told us they stopped by to point out the condition of the plants which were showing the stress due to the apparent lack of water. They told us that her response made it clear that she had no idea, she was completely clueless, and apparently didn’t do anyting different after they spoke to her.
THS is a community of value only if its review system provides useful feedback on both hosts and sitters. Valuable communities always have self-serving, mercenary members who diminish the value of the community. I understand your point and approach quite clearly. I simply do not respect it. But I take heart in the expectation that your gamesmanship will not serve you well for long.
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That’s true to an extent & it often (but not always) implies something went wrong on the sit. Sitters who discover a missing review during their research- which takes some effort in cross referencing- are left to make their own conclusions, which may be incorrect. So its not ideal to write nothing at all..
However..HO readers, on the other hand, will have no idea a review is missing when they look at the profile of the sitter who is applying- they will just read the reviews that are there. Therefore (for your fellow hosts) it is much worse to write a false review the way you did as you totally mislead people.
I am a sitter and if I was to read a poor sitter review that you had given- that really stood out I would do even more careful research- back tracking/cross referencing/reading between the lines etc to get a fuller picture. If your review was well written, balanced, & factual and made sense to me I would not be put off applying. I would just ask more questions to clarify.
From your later post it does look like this was far too much responsibility for one young girl (as you describe her) but by giving her a 5* review you do not help her either & infact you give her permission to continue such behaviour thinking it’s OK..
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Even greater reason to publicly expose her with a low star factual review. She needs to learn. And others need to know.
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All members are paying.
Who determines which party’s review content is “misleading”? You expect THS to adjudicate every dispute between hosts and sitters AND find truth and justice in each case without having one (or both) parties landing on this forum still aggrieved? For $120? Yours is an impossibly high bar.
The review system is designed so that “one-sided information” does not stand unchallenged if well used. Your response to an unfair review can strengthen your reputation more than 1 bad review can hurt it if you handle your responses well. Or you can squander your response in the heat of the moment to your longer term detriment. Both are under your sole control.
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It’s so unfair that this rubbish sitter keeps getting 5 star reviews while other good sitters who encountered bad hosts receive poor reviews
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Why leave a 5 star review for an incompetent sitter so that other owners will think she’s OK. That is irresponsible on your behalf.
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It could also mean that the pet owners were not entirely honest with the sitter so it wasn’t worth leaving a review. That should speak volumes!!
To be honest, your comment completely misses the point
and comes across as rather condescending, as if the goal were to dismiss rather than understand.
Yes, all members pay. But the meaning of that payment isn’t the same for everyone.
Hosts may open their homes, but sitters build and maintain their entire credibility through reviews.
A single misleading review can seriously impact future opportunities,
and the fact that there’s no way to correct or clarify inaccurate information is not a minor issue it’s a structural flaw.
I never said THS should investigate every dispute.
Framing my point as some kind of quest for “truth and justice” is, frankly, quite disrespectful.
What I actually said is simple that even clearly false information cannot be corrected.
Calling that “too high a bar” is a strange way of saying that fairness standards here are surprisingly low.
And saying “you can overcome it with a good response” is, honestly, disconnected from reality.
Most homeowners don’t read replies — they glance at the stars.
In a system built that way, telling sitters to “handle it well” is just another way of saying “leave it to luck.”
If raising a concern about such a basic fairness issue is considered asking too much,
then maybe the problem isn’t my expectations
it’s how little value this platform seems to place on fairness,
especially when members are paying $120 a year, which is enough to expect at least a fair system.
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As a sitter, when I glance through a lot of reviews, I do take note of the stars and often only skim read the review. But, since most reviews are 5* , if I see dropped stars- especially in the overall rating-it catches my interest and I am much more likely to read the review carefully and also the response, if there is one. Then I might click on the sitter or host and cross reference as to what review (and response if any) was given the other way. I always find it interesting to understand what went wrong on a sit and how the sitter/HO responded to it.
What I’m saying is that dropped stars are in the minority and therefore draw more attention. So if others are like me they will be intrigued to investigate further. So your balanced and factual response to the bad (unfair) review you received could be very helpful to restore your reputation. Its important to stand up for yourself when you feel wronged. In this way you reclaim your power.
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Take all the heart you want. Nothing’s going to happen to me or anyone else for choosing to leave a 5 star review for a 2 star sitter, other than we’re not diminishing our chances of getting future sitters by appearing to be unreasonable in our requests when someone is given responsibility of our home and pets.
Since you asked…
Had I left a 2 star review as deserved, my negative review would stand out against a sea of 5 star reviews, and prospective sitters may think I’m an unreasonable host, and be reluctant to sit for me. Had I left no review, sitters may think that I’m not a good host because I was inconsiderate by not leaving a review when one was left for me by the sitter.
Had I expressed my displeasure to the sitter when we got home, I’m risking a pre-emptive negative review by the sitter who is expecting one from me.
So I had a choice. Give an honest 2 star review for the benefit of the host community who did me no favors by giving this bad sitter a slew of probably undeserved 5 star reviews, or protect my host credibility and property attractiveness by swapping five star reviews and keeping my mouth shut.
I really wanted to give her a 2 star review, every time I pulled out another dead plant or listened to my wife complain about how badly the animal cages were left, I wanted her to feel our pain. Not so much for “the community” and all that. I don’t feel I owe anyone here anything at all. Some have expectations of mutual trust between strangers who share nothing but a house full of pets, but they’re being unrealistic and I don’t share their sentiments.
No different from online reviews. When considering doing business with a merchant, I ignore the positive ones and read the negatives which tell the real story and are usually posted by customers who have had a REALLY bad experience. Had this sitter not properly cared for our animals, and/or there were prior honest, less than 5 star reviews, I probably would have thrown caution to the wind and posted a more accurate review.
A compromise would have been to give her fewer stars in the categories that affected you the most, maybe cleanliness? Or mention that perhaps your menagerie, including the plants, was too much for one person, also implying that next time you’ll choose a couple or a family.
The past HO’s might have had one cat who slept all day long, or a canary fed some grains twice a day, easy enough for someone not very experienced, so their 5 stars would have been realistic
I don’t think she was 100% bad, however she may have bitten off more than she could chew. Had your review been written thru this lens, it would have shown that she’s not capable of handling many animals, while not crashing her chances for the future.
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Perhaps. Or, a potential host would look at the sitter’s slew of five star reviews and see the one that differs from the rest and think I’m just being picky and I’m a complainer who is impossible to satisfy, while potential sitters may think I’m an unreasonable host who won’t ever be happy since every other host certainly was, and steer clear. The sitter would probably read it and think “WTF, I did a great job they’re out of their minds”.
Who knows? The only thing for sure is I’ve got absolutely nothing to gain by leaving a less than five star review, and a lot to lose.
What is a fair system and how do you make it fair?