Unacceptable - HO has a friend staying at sit

At this point, who cares what they think. Life is short. This is an exchange. I’m sure you spent money getting to the location with a plan to enjoy your stay. Despite this, you’re going to do great with everything. And leave an honest review that anticipates whatever the HO might or might not say about what happened.


Good luck speaking to a human!!

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@Una I have been able to chat to a real human on many occasions (when Frankie couldn’t help ) but I am usually in U.K. time so maybe that helps .

Hmmmmmm The HOs have broken the rules, I have honoured my stay and will do my absolute best for the pet and the house. I will be contacting ‘support’ to update them of the situation.


@MissisE keep us posted…

Contact THS at once. That is very much against the rules.

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Really difficult situation. The HO may or may not have known they were breaking or stretching the rules. They may or may not be grand and think you are staff. The main thing is that you have established boundaries, in the rules of THS and what you feel comfortable with. You’ve shared this with the sitter and the HO who may or may not think you are a Diva and hate you. Enjoy the rest, and don’t read or interpret the situation more than needs be, and if they are arrogant - put it down to experience. Hope you have a lovely sit and don’t feel bad :slight_smile:

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Sounds like everything’s on track but one thing I wanted to mention…I really wouldn’t feel bad about this/hope you don’t.

I’ve made this error in the past as an HO out of ignorance/brain fart (but it was fully disclosed to HS well before the confirmation of the sit and we were both on the same page. After I realised what I’d done though, I self-corrected for future sits and was very forthcoming with TH about it directly…they advised me on how to proceed.

In sticking with the facts, it is purely a liability issue to have another person present on the sit. It would seriously muddy the waters in the event that something occurred while on the sit. Past that, the HO had an options and they chose one…from there, you’re just doing what you showed up to do and hopefully you can enjoy yourself while doing it. If it turns out to be a nightmare because the energy is off, you can adjust in future and just ask explicitly on future sits OR the next time an HO surprises you like this, you’ll know you’ll be better off just walking away.

I hope it still turns out to be a good sit for you even with a rocky start! X

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I don’t know how TH can make it more clear. I’m sorry you were put in this position. I ran into one of those but fortunately learned early on. Just think about what this request is.

They want you to agree to live with someone with whom you’ve never even spoken. Who does that?


Just jumping in to say that you can only reach a human via the “Frankie” chat if it’s working hours in the UK. And yes, “Speak to a human” is the magic phrase.

Whatever the ‘rules’, I can see it from both sides. The HO is used to entertaining guests and has a beautiful, large house. She genuinely thought it would be fine for her old friend to be out all day and sleep upstairs while I was here. From a sitters point of view, obviously this isn’t okay for lots of reasons. It was very tense and tricky but we sorted it and the sit has been a really beautiful one. An easy pet, a beautiful house in a stunning city. I really appreciated all the support when it was so tricky at the beginning of the sit.


I agree. This doesn’t mean the HO is “entitled” or a terrible person. We’re all learning how to navigate the site. Many sitters don’t think through what the experience is like for pet parents. Many pet parents don’t think through what the experience is like for sitters. THS doesn’t actually have that many rules and guidelines. It’s a matching site. But there are a few. One of them is third party rule. If you think it though logically, then you realize it’s fundamental. Without that rule there is no quality control on homes. Sitters would be dissatisfied. There wouldn’t be sitters. Even asking a sitter permission to break the rule is putting a sitter in an awkward terrible spot. Most pet parents aren’t going to be thinking about all of that. To me this is similar to a situation where the HO take on a single sitter and then the sitter announces that their “partner” who they never mentioned before, not on the profile, and not handing over any form of identity check will be accompanying them. Sometimes rules exist for the protection of everyone. Glad it worked out moving forward.

IMO one of the reasons THS supports this forum is to help bring both sides of the equation together. But I really think they need to more in this area.


Not a diva at all. You kept your side of the bargain. It was really inconsiderate of them. I’m glad it worked out okay.


Here’s a valuable lesson that changed my life.

The ontology of a request:

Anyone has the right to make a request. Inherent in the right of someone making a request is the right of the receiver, to accept, decline or counter offer.

You accepted one of their options (friend stays elsewhere). Once you remove the emotion and second guessing, it’s a lot easier to accept.

I agree that the HO should know TH rules and shouldn’t have put you in an uncomfortable situation, but breaking it down this way, hopefully helps you stand proud behind your honest response. Now go have fun with the pets!


You will always have people (sitters and HOs) pushing boundaries. I think THS does a great job in telling us the rules. Sitters and HOs get a checklist of items before a sit. There’s only so much corporate can do when someone feels entitled.

Typically companies host forums having primarily their own interest in mind rather than customers. Companies host forums to create controlled environments as a means of (eventual) damage control. If discussions are held on the platform they own, they have full control over what is being published, as opposed to posts published on public platforms. This allows them to manage and shape the narrative surrounding their products or services.
I think it was Dell who was one of the pioneering companies to establish online forums for that very reason


Totally unacceptable. It’s weird and unnerving to have someone else in the house. They go you go, no questions asked. FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY.


Hello @stevegerbec67 hello and welcome.
Many on the forum support your position and safety is certainly an issue we sometimes don’t highlight rather the T & C’s.

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The world is not that dangerous.

Statistically, the greatest risk is your special other. Especially when that is a man.


Easy to say when you are a man and live in Sweden. I am traveling as a single 73 year old female and have to always take my safely seriously. I had no qualms going anywhere in Norway but there are other countries I would not travel alone.