I have been active here for a couple months. Wow do I see some mean and thoughtless comments from several users here that are giving advice with no thought for others feelings. May I suggest everyone put some effort into the way you write your feedback for Owners Listings for improvement? Instead of being critical, be kind and take into consideration the Owner’s situation. Things like already being gone so cant readily improve photos, in a stressed state already, new to THS and learning how to best attract sitters, never have been in a sales role or just don’t understand how to write an appealing Housesit, elderly, non tech savvy with taking photos or using the website, not a great writer, the list goes on. Not everyone posts a new Housesit with their best foot forward. This community is SOOOO helpful to us newbies for improving our listings but I have seen some down right mean things typed without any thought whatsoever for the owner. Please….. being helpful with feedback doesn’t have to be mean. (In case you want example, I will paraphrase: I would NEVER do that sit…..Looks like a frat party house…..Not doing you any favors…..That was the funniest thing I’ve read…What are you thinking?……) I have flagged things now that I see its possible when I think its too harsh. For the record, I am a straight shooter and have thick skin, but I also choose words carefully when trying to give tips to people. Trying to find the right sitter for our house and pet is stressful, being kind is free. Rant over. Thank you for reading.
I agree completely, and not just on this particular issue. A lot of hosts come here with perfectly valid concerns, questions and anxieties, and a number of sitters here respond in very rude and obnoxious ways. There is something about this dynamic and exchange that seems to trigger weird stuff in people on the sitter side of things, and I see it come out in the forum a lot.
I didn’t make the comment about the frat party house but I read that post and I agreed with the poster. Nothing wrong with the comment in my opinion. They asked for feedback and it was honest. Not being honest to save someone’s feelings as they don’t want the truth is not helping them when they asked for opinions . If they don’t want to know what sitters think then don’t ask, “what do you think of my listing.” The pictures of the house was the worst I ever saw and if they don’t make an effort then what comments do they expect. Although I didn’t post that comment I did post a comment you would call “mean” as you have problems with honest opinions. The PP is not getting applicants and most told them to “clean up.” Hard to sugarcoat that.
I participate in the rudeness occasionally.
What KC says above is one of the phenomenons. Sitters perhaps feeling like they need to fight back on hosts making their life more difficult. I do think that the power structure is so that hosts have more than sitters - but of course it varies and fluctuates. Some people will disagree with me. This is fine, but the inability to understand the position other person is in will gather resentment - and then sometimes that resentment bursts out in sharpness and/or meanness.
Then there is just normal internet platform disagreement, misunderstanding, armor shining and trying to fight for a cause that is actually not present.
Especially what comes to homes, very private and tender places, people will have their norms and some would prefer that everyone had the same norms. This leads to hash words, translating to “your way of living threatens my way of living by existing, and I am scared, so stop it right now”.
And then some. There are plenty of reasons to fight “back”. There are plenty of reasons to get upset. I dont like it, I wish there would be more work towards kindness (but not lying or sugar coating). Lets see.
Here we have some examples.
I think “looks like a frat house” is a way to describe. The same way as “looks like a hippie house” or “looks like a suburban house”. All of these can be compliments in the right context, or insult. Here I think the context is that THS culture is such that sitters are not expected to stay in frat house conditions. Ok.
However, “the worst I ever saw”, really? Honestly the -absolutely worst ever-? I mean that is an archievement on its own! But do you absolutely need to tell that the pictures were “worst you have seen”? How does that even benefit the HO? They can not know what kind of pictures you have seen: maybe the pictures are fine, you are just very limited in your experience. So you’re not really helping.
How about instead you share your concern, “I think many sitters will be put off by these photos, and I would be” and practical suggestion “I think that if the pictures had less clutter/empty sink/etc, they would be more presentable”. These sentences would help the host much more, and they are (in my opinion) not mean. So win-win. Telling someone that they probably get better success if they clean their house for the pictures is different than saying “what a disgusting pig hole”, yet it carries enough truth and help to work out.
(Edited to comply with forum guidelines)
This ended with me wiring very mean words about SeniorSitter1. They have been now removed. By writing those words I attempted to give an example on how one can not simply put “I just shared my honest opinion” or “you needed advice I was just trying to help” at the end of your message and it makes it ok. This part was removed - I was indeed choosing harsh words.
I think honesty is great, I am not suggesting sugar coating anything. I made this post in hopes of helping people think before they type. You can give feedback like “clean up” and I might add that some homeowners who don’t live naturally in that “cleaned up” state dont know any better as to why. So as a Sitter, you might add “why” they should clean up. “Clean up and make your home look tidy. Sitters prefer to have a house that has a clean, well kept, calm environment, places to put their own things during their stay”.
You, as a sitter, have valuable insight to share for us Newbie homeowners trying to make our profiles appealing. We dont arrive to THS knowing how to best do this. I am simply asking (some commenters) for kinder ways to say it.
Your "rude” or “mean” may just be another person’s”honest” or “blunt”. Perspective is all. Some people are quick to react and don’t consider their response enough. I’ve done it myself and had to apologise. I like to think most people are trying to help, their delivery style might not always be the softest. A messy house is a messy house. Hosts need to ask themselves what am I offering a sitter? If it’s not much, they won’t get much.
Of course I did not say on the post the pictures were the worst I ever saw. I am saying it here. I mentioned on the post how the kitchen picture turned me off. Dishes in the sink, half open drawers with things poring out. Seriously, do you think a sitter wants to stay there and give free service for a dirty house. The sentence from serious on was not said on that post either but expressed here.
The overall tone of the Forum is anti-homeowner.
I just wish everyone would simply give a well worded, well rounded opinion on each topic instead of always trying to prove a point or prove they are right all the time. Consider other people’s thoughts and feelings. Listen to other people’s opinions and react in a kind and thoughtful manner rather than judging and trying to prove a point. We all believe we are right all the time, that’s human nature, but we aren’t always right, we make mistakes, often. It takes a better man to own up to his mistakes than to try to prove otherwise. There are certain members on this forum who constantly contradict themselves and argue every point, simply to look like a shining star. You aren’t. We are all just human, no better or worse than the next. The old saying…“It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”.
So very true.
@Marj @avidtraveler I personally have nothing but the highest regard for all homeowners that I sat for, great experiences all round.
I would honestly like to understand why/how this is so in your eyes.
As a sitter, if I am contributing to that perception (I don’t believe that I am but we’re often blind to our own behaviour) I would benefit from knowing how and would attempt to rectify this.
@Marj I agree that at times that certainly appears to be the case! But generally those members are short lived on the forum I have found as their need for justification and praise go unmet here. As a sitter myself I am absolutely astounded, gobsmacked at times, at some of the things I read and the entitlement of some sitters. BUT and a big but. I genuinely think they don’t outweigh the number of positive and wonderful sitters who are here giving constant and considerate feedback, often. We must be fair also in saying that it’s a two way street and some HO’s on the forum need a good reality check sometimes as well. We can’t put everyone in the same basket.
Cathie, that may be the case for many (most?) sitters here, but it doesn’t alter the fact that sitters use the forum to complain about homeowners. Human nature and social media being what they are, if everything is OK nothing is said, it is only problems that are discussed.
@Marj and vice versa 
@ziggy I didn’t put anyone in a basket.
@ziggy Huh? Homeowners have too little presence on the forum to affect the overall tone of the conversation.
@Marj well we have been reading different forums then if that’s how you see things. All good, I’ll leave it there and hopefully you are at least having great sitters when needed, that’s what matters.