I have been on this website for over a decade with more sitters than I can count and hence think I know what to expect from a five star sitter. Luckily most of my sitters have been great with nothing to complain about. But occasionally there’s a sit where several small things could have been better and I feel obligated to give an honest feedback, especially to full time sitters who might want to improve. With my last sitter, and also another one a few years back, I decided to send a detailed feedback off the platform to explain my thoughts with exact examples before posting the actual, not quite so detailed review.
Both times this didn’t go so well. The sitters felt misunderstood and snapped at me with generalisations like “I never had to” and “you should have/didn’t”. They also mentioned things that they disliked about the sit that in my opinion could have been discussed and hopefully resolved amicably while the sit was still on. Especially the last one also mentioned that being a full-time sitter, she relied on good reviews and seemed scared that she might not receive one this time. Looking further down into her previous reviews, I found some hints that other home owners had similar issues as I had, and I wished they would have been a bit more clear. Not every sitter is good for every sit. I might not had chosen her, had I known what I know now. Our personalities just don’t match.
The first sitter eventually “punished” me with my first and last ever one star review. The second sitter has now almost reached the 14 days mark and despite saying she would write a review, she so far hasn’t. I don’t know if she still can after those two weeks?
My personal conclusion is to just not disclose anything anymore before the review is published. But I would love to hear the thoughts from other home owners on this. Did anyone have similar experiences?
This is the whole point of blind reviews - to provide honest feedback without fear of receiving negative feedback as a result. Detailed feedback off-platform might land better once the public reviews have been published.
However, if you do feel the need to leave negative feedback as part of a public review, there is usually still a tactful and kind way to do this by choosing your words carefully, bearing in mind that negative feedback shown on a profile for either a sitter or homeowner can affect future success using THS. Certainly anything that might be deemed ‘petty’ often says more about the person providing the feedback than the person receiving it.
Better still, keep the lines of communication open during the sit, and, as you have suggested, discuss anything that might be bothering you and offer sitter the opportunity to do the same in the hope that any potential problems can be resolved amicably whilst the sit is still ongoing. As a sitter, I would far rather that someone spoke up and addressed a potential problem whilst I still had the opportunity to do something about it.
We’re sitters, and I think you are right, save it for your review, or they could retaliate, it’s the reason the reviews are now blind reviews.
HOWEVER, if you want whatever it is resolving, fixing, or changing while you are away then you need to say something earlier, and also take into account that sometimes there is a reasonable explanation of certain events, but given you’ve been with THS for 10 years with plenty of five-star sitters, I’m sure you already know that.
Why? Housesitters may perceive this as an employee performance assessment - inappropriate. What is your motivation?
If your intent was to provide suggestions for their future improvement then you may wish to first ask the housesitter if they wish detailed feedback. It may also be worth reflecting on the degree to which the items of the detailed feedback are specific to your property/pets or are reasonably transferrable to other housesits. If the housesitter is open to suggests for their improvement - or better mutual improvement - then likely more effective in a video call after the housesit has completed.
The THS review process is two-way, blind and permits a response. We understand that its purpose is to motivate good practices and to provide insight that may aid people in the future. Shortcomings in reviews may openly highlight deficiencies versus THS standards - and a response is possible. But detailed feedback on immaterial topics may be deemed petty.
Just for clarification:
In the first place, the line has to be open from the sitter’s side. If I only keep hearing that all is well, I cannot advice, console or whatever is necessary to help the sitter. She first disclosed her “problems” with this sit after I messaged her with my “complaints”.
It is hard to comment without examples. Generally I would like feedback outside of the review. Giving it after the review keeps it blind and impartial.
As for the feedback, if it something significant that warrants mentioning, then go for it. I am thinking about things like: I asked for and really wanted daily photo check-ins, the back door was unlocked when I got home, the neighbors complained about loud music at night, etc.
A long list of complaints or minor things would be off putting. Things like: the pots and pans were in the wrong place, you left the vacuum bag full, one of my plants died, etc.
As a sitter I try so hard to do a perfect job. I am sure, though, that I have failed to be perfect in many small ways. I hope the hosts appreciate that we are different people who might do something slightly different.
This was a younger full-time sitter who really meant well, but lacked attention to details, so I think I wanted to help her. But you are right, maybe she didn’t want this kind of feedback. I will ask next time, after the review is published.
I imagine that the sitter spoke up after the fact about things they considered minor – and would normally let roll off their back – precisely because they felt they were being critiqued for minor things.
As for not bringing it up earlier during the sit… one of the criteria sitters are reviewed on is self sufficiency. We try to solve minor snags for ourselves or just roll with it. This also means we aren’t disturbing the host on their holiday over small details or things we can live with.
It is hard to know what this is really about, so just some thoughts that came to mind.
Small things - how small?
Could have been better - what does that mean? It comes off as a work assessment. Ofc everything «can» always be better. Was it adequate - enough? For instance regarding cleaning - for a shorter sit I do not do a «professional» clean. One - because I’m not professional or paid to clean - I’m doing a voluntary petsit and two - it doesn’t take a professional clean to erase the traces after me. A long sit will ofc require more to leave as one found it.
I can totally relate to the feeling of «obligation» to give feedback. In my mind my feedback is a valuable gift. But the obligation is the review.
A fellow member might want to improve - whether sitter or host. We can’t really know if they haven’t said so. Most members would maybe be to some extent, but possibly more interested in finding a good match. I have a level for what I find to be my fair contribution to an equal exchange. If someone expects me to go further than that it is no longer an equal exchange for me, and I’d prefer a hotel. I pass on a lot of sits if the requirements are too high for what they offer.
In your case I would just write a review, and when they are published - if you want to - you can send them a nudge and say that if you’d like more feedback off-platform let me know. And don’t send a list if it is not asked for.
As your sitter is running out of time to post her review @Elke, I’m thinking she’s a) going to do it at the last possible moment or b) not do one. If it is the former, by sending her detailed feedback off the platform before her review has been done, is opening up the opportunity for her to give you a very poor review. Members, especially sitters, fought hard to get changes to the review system so that reviews could be blind and categories for owners could be star rated.
There are far fewer owners on the forum than sitters so your responses have largely been from sitters.
No matter how experienced we are as either owners or sitters, we can still learn and this has definitely been a learning experience for you.
I had one sitter that had been careless in a way that could have harmed my cats. Fortunately, one cat got a tummy ache but didn’t need any emergency treatement and was okay, and sitters cleaned up the aftermath and were honest with me, but I contemplated taking off a point for pet care. Ultimately I didn’t but I wrote them a note going over that incident and some other stuff with their communication and follow through that really fell short of other sitters. That wasn’t how I put it. I put it more in terms like, because we agreed about the time of arrival and when my cats were to be fed, I was surprised at the calls hours after I was gone asking me “the latest” I thought you could arrive by. I also included the text of my 5-star review which focused on the good stuff and was honest, but in retrospect probably too kind. They wrote me back, quite defensively and didn’t review me. I am okay with that.
In retrospect, I wish I’d been more upfront in my review about what happened and the other things along the way that weren’t so great. I felt there was things homeowners should have head a headsup about, and I don’t think my feedback private helped.
I didn’t mention the full vacuum cleaner bag and the misplaced pots. But the cushions for the outdoor furniture were e.g. outside, getting wet (on purpose to air out, as she told me later). One of my pets requires medications and the sitter somehow threw the lid of the bottle away. I am not sure how well this medication likes to not be sealed properly anymore, so I discarded it. What bothered me most is that the sitter was (on her request! ) still in my flat when I got home and could have easily mentioned this, but didn’t. Instead she focused on things I didn’t tell her to worry about, like cleaning, because my regular cleaner would come two days later. And then she rushed out the door as soon as I was home.
To me, self sufficiency has to do with aspects around the sitter’ stay. But any issues about the pets shouldn’t be resolved by guessing and doing what the sitter things is right, without asking the owner. Everything that bothered this sitter seemed to be pet related and she only brought it up when I confronted her about the things above.
Anyway, lesson learned. She finally wrote a review which wasn’t that nice, as expected.
Thanks for everyone’s feedback!
I wished home owners just did that. It’s not very easy to find the real five star sitters among the five star sitters anymore.
@Elke if you are going to quote me, please don’t twist what I said. In mentioning self sufficiency I directly said we try to solve the small snags ourselves. I do not think pet care would fall under a small snag. Your original post was vague and gave no sense of how picky you are being. I think I now have a very good sense of that. Have a great day.
It wouldn’t go down well with me either, if I was the sitter. Unless I had asked for feedback. However, like others have said, we really need more precise information to comment.
I am a fan of private feedback too! After a sit is over I ask for “any nitpicky things we could change or do better” after they’ve settled at their next destination. Then if they ask for any in return, I’ll give it. They don’t always ask, so I don’t always give any. Fortunately almost all my sitters have been great, so if I do give feedback I make it clear that overall they were great and they don’t need to worry about my public review. Also, a lot of the time any feedback I could think to give is a prompt for myself to be more explicit in some instructions.
In terms of what merits feedback: general things that are applicable to all pets/houses, things I would not put in my house guide, and things someone might not learn for themselves until it was too late. For example, the fact that the wooden cutting boards (or any wooden utensil in general) should not have gone into the dishwasher.
The only unsolicited private feedback I’ve ever given was for a serious lapse in judgement that, only through sheer luck, did not result in the death of my dog. It was not well-received.
Although my feedback wasn’t taken the way I would have hoped, I think in general giving specific feedback probably is helpful. People may be too emotional to take stuff in at some point, but may realize later that stuff makes sense, especially when it’s practical: EG: Dishwashers take a long time. Don’t run the dishwasher at the last minute and then panic because it’s still running and you need to catch a flight. (Which was actual feedback I left once.)
But I also accept it’a a balance and even when sitters are super nice, if something happened and others need to know down the line, the homeowner needs to say something. This also works for sitters and it can be equally difficult and feel equally petty.
I wish there were a private feedback form so sitters could mention the microwave not being cleaned for example without turning it into a public shaming or homeowners could mention that the medication wasn’t put back in the fridge and needed to be disgarded.
Please, please, please tell me that your feedback was to let them know that there was absolutely no need to panic if the dishwasher was still running by the time they needed to leave to go and catch their flight?
I did a sit earlier this year, in which I did all the things I normally would do that get me 5 stars. I also looked for ways to reduce the anxiety & food obsession both pets displayed; and was successful in doing so.
To my surprise, the HO made it very clear they did not appreciate the latter. On arrival, to my equal surprise several things turned out to be very different than imagined. For example, being expected to sleep on the couch.
I did not bring these things up with the HO, as it was clear they had a different view and would not share my concern; and I was able to manage some of them without needing HO intervention.
Then after the sit had completed, it turned out that apparently I had made a mistake with putting a piece of furniture back in place. A mistake I was completely unaware of (for example, the HO could have left instructions to prevent ‘doing it the wrong way’), but the HO made quite a big fuss about it.
Eventually I decided to postpone leaving a review for the HO, waiting to see if the HO would leave one for me. E.g. I honestly had no idea what to write. Should I write about the lovely place & pets, or should I give them a bad/mixed review by bringing up the strange behaviour? (They had several reviews, all which were good)
They didn’t leave a review either, so we ‘closed’ this out by not reviewing each other.
I don’t think I would have appreciated your off the platform detailed feedback, since I’m not a professional paid sitter but a volunteer, doing my very best but obviously not being perfect.
As much as I appreciate hearing other sitters’ stories and opinions, this wasn’t what I asked for. I thought this was the place for the home owners and pet parents to exchange. The point that not all sitters appreciate detailed feedback off the platform was already made and is taken.
It was in response to their general disorganization and seeming panic in leaving. They were texting me like their problem in getting out of there was somehow due to some imaginary demands I was making. I think I’d texted to turn the dishwasher off (cancel it) and I’d run it when I got home because they were texting me that they were running late like it was my fault. I don’t like to leave it running when no one is home due to a past flooding experience in a long ago rental, so I mention in the guide to please not leave it running when you aren’t here. They were there for 10 days so would have had time to know how long the dishwasher takes. I wasn’t telling them what to do, it was post sit feedback which included the suggestion they not wait till the last minute to run the dishwasher. (I also have it in my guide that I don’t care if there are rinsed dirty dishes left in the dishwasher when I get home.) In other words there was NO demand that the dishes all be washed and back in the cabinet when I got home.
But sure, assume I am terrible human because I prefer not to leave the dishwasher running due to lived experience and don’t care if there are dishes left unwashed in the dishwasher.
Was it adequate - enough? For instance regarding cleaning - for a shorter sit I do not do a «professional» clean. One - because I’m not professional or paid to clean - I’m doing a voluntary petsit and two - it doesn’t take a professional clean to erase the traces after me. A long sit will ofc require more to leave as one found it.
But the cushions for the outdoor furniture were e.g. outside, getting wet (on purpose to air out, as she told me later). One of my pets requires medications and the sitter somehow threw the lid of the bottle away. I am not sure how well this medication likes to not be sealed properly anymore, so I discarded it. What bothered me most is that the sitter was (on her request! ) still in my flat when I got home and could have easily mentioned this, but didn’t. Instead she focused on things I didn’t tell her to worry about, like cleaning, because my regular cleaner would come two days later. And then she rushed out the door as soon as I was home.