I just finished a sit where there was much good and some not so good. I tried to write an honest and fair review. I gave overall 5 stars but 4 for hospitality and 4 for cleanliness. The home owner asked me why i gave only 4 stars for cleanliness as they had a cleaner in several days before I arrived. They had asked me to overlap one night with them o get to know the house and dogs. This turned out to be very uncomfortable as they were two men and I’m a women. It was a two bedroom house and the room I was given was extremely well used. Not a guest room so stuff everywhere. They continued to use the second bathroom while we overlapped so the toilet had pee on the bowl their used towel and old robe was left in the bathroom and it was not clean. It was an older home so tub was chipped and stained. Garbage left full. I found this quite surprising. Anyway when they asked me I did tell them these were details that I found surprising and made me uncomfortable. The result was a number of texts where they called me elitist that I was uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with 2 men and that they would now not have me back. I feel a bit sad as I didn’t want to hurt them but I also wanted to give honest feedback. In my review I gave a 4 for cleanliness but didn’t elaborate why. So my question is. How can sitters give honest feedback that helps HO improve ( I did this privately) my public review didn’t mention these specific details. And Is fair so other potential sitters can make a fair assessment if it would be a good fit. I was nervous to give honest feedback and it definitely was not appreciated.
The HO will only improve if they are willing to take on board the feedback . Some homeowners will, others won’t, you can’t do anything about that .
It will be appreciated by potential sitters in the future which is what the review is for . So well done and thank you from a fellow sitter .
You did well. A 4 star for cleanliness in a 5 star review doesn’t require a lot of explanation in my opinion. The fact that they replied negatively for that is probably going to reflect more on them than on you, which sounds justified given them calling you elitist in a text. That is very rude.
Actually it’s a bit bonkers that they have 2 bathrooms and used both while overlapping with you.
Since we usually leave early morning, we often overlapped 1 night with the sitters - The way I see it is that this is a courtesy by the sitter, and so of course I already prepare the house for them while putting ourselves for a night in the guest room. And of course ask permission to go to the main bedroom/bathroom if we need something for packing etc.
These honest reviews often receive so many negative responses that I am beginning to question the honesty of reviews and responses. They only seem to cause disappointment, accusations, and complaints; in short - tons of stress. So much so that I almost prefer the old reviewing system.
Before, people complained they couldn’t be honest. Now, they are afraid their honesty will receive a negative response.
(You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.)
My POV: Be honest and specific. That’s because reviews are meant to help other sitters or hosts. And if you’re specific and factual and your hosts or sitters don’t like it, that’s unfortunate, but truthful.
If you’d been specific, no need for your hosts to ask. They could’ve taken the feedback constructively or not, but if they’d contacted you just to complain, you could’ve blocked them or collected their rude msgs to send to THS membership services, so they’d deal with them. You can still that now, BTW.
About reviewing being tough for some sitters or hosts: That’s just a reality of life. Some people have a hard time being candid. No reviewing system can be effective if people are afraid of doing their part. THS can’t give people courage. It can only offer a review system that allows people to be truthful and specific.
Personally, I find the new review changes to be a significant upgrade and have no problems with them.
BTW, I don’t understand how you ended up sitting and overlapping with two men if you’re not comfortable with that. It sounds like you shouldn’t have taken the sit if so. Were you misled or confused about whom you’d sit and overlap with?
@Maggie8K I wasn’t uncomfortable with the two men part as such but the sharing a bathroom part. I don’t know many women who pee on the toilet seat of a shared guest bathroom and don’t clean it for the guest. When I was told this is your bathroom to use my expectation would be after that point it’s only me who uses it. For me it’s a star deduction for being given a bathroom in that condition. It was uncomfortable. I didn’t make a big fuss but when asked why I deducted a star I explained privately. I honestly expected a “ sorry about that we will be sure to have it spotless next time” and nothing more.
Sounds like they were just bad hosts, because no one should be giving a guest a dirty toilet to use. I’d have no hesitation with reviewing specifically if so, to spare other sitters.
The problem with saying stuff privately is what you experienced. If they were normal and you’d reviewed specifically (about the toilet or whatever), they could have responded publicly like you mentioned — apologies, that won’t happen again. But they seem to be rude across the board, which prospective sitters can’t tell now.
Here in Sweden, that is common. At work, for example. Or in the local library, railway station, train, etc etc.
Nobody even thinks about it.
If your “here” is the US, I have heard that some people can get very upset about it. Politics, legislation even.
@pietkuip im interested that you feel women in your country would not be bothered by a bathroom left for them with pee stains on the toilet, used towels and full garbage. I challenge you to ask yoyr female friends in fact if this is something they are uncomfortable with or it’s no problem. I don’t know any women in my sphere ( Canadian) that would find that acceptable. But I’ve got a lot to learn about cultural differences so I’m not saying it’s not true in your country. I am saying in the country the sit was I think the common expectation of consideration might be different then the experience I had.
You did the brave and right thing. I would have been mortified to have found myself in that uncomfortable, grungy situation.
@Petlover64 You wrote that you had not been comfortable to share a bathroom with men. That is what I reacted to.
Then there is cleanliness. That is a different matter. I do not know if women are more bothered than men by the state of toilets in some trains at the end of the day.
I can guarantee that women on average are more bothered than men by pee on toilet seats 
@Petlover64 - you did the right thing (for yourself and future sitters).
Before blind reviews/categories were introduced I am convinced many poor sits showed 5 star reviews for situations that were far from ideal. Sitters feared retaliation from the homeowner.
It is always going to be difficult to criticise levels of cleanliness as it is so subjective. It got me thinking about a sit I did prior to the changes and I was so disappointed with the level of comfort and cleanliness I did not leave a review at all. This was the first time in over 60 sits. I just responded to their 5 star review of me mentioning the dog and area and no mention of the home (it was a very grand house).
Overall the sit was good and we had some great adventures with the dog. The kitchen and shower in particular were gross but as previous sitters had given 5 stars and some had returned I just thought I was being over fussy. I am glad I didn’t see the state of the duvet and mattress until I stripped the bed at the end of the sit 
@Twitcher, I assume if it was a very grand house, the bedroom and possibly bathroom were dedicated guest rooms? That is, this was a room not being occupied by the HO family? I wonder sometimes if people simply don’t notice that their guest bedroom’s bedding is getting worn or stained, or if their cleaning crew doesn’t even go into their guest suite regularly. But the kitchen…that’s just weird that it would be gross.
You did the right thing. They should have had the cleaner come the day you arrived and yes, I would be uncomfortable too spending a night with two grown men there. Don’t let them bully your emotions, you have a right to write a feedback based on your experience. Members are too used to getting five star reviews when they don’t deserve it
@Val - it was a guest room. A cleaner was employed but only a couple of hours a week which wouldn’t even touch the sides.
Despite all these complaints, you seem unhappy about that.
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