I have 15 pet-sits under my belt and received 5-star reviews from all of them. I am currently doing the most challenging petsit to date and I need to vent a little. The pet-parents are an elderly couple who is taking perhaps the last overseas trip of their lives. I agreed to this sit months ago of their ancient dog (over 100 in dog-years) and the animal seemed fine but developed fatal complications in the interim. The dog is nearly incontinent now, peeing and pooping all over the house. I have to prepare meals and administer complicated medications twice a day. I feel like this was a bait-and-switch. When I arrived the home was cluttered and uncomfortable. I’m pretty upset. I know I have to suck it up but actually worried that the pet could expire on my watch and I’m very anxious. Any words of support are welcome.
I think the best way to get through this is to realize you are doing someone a huge favor. You could imagine you are helping out a loved one who gets to take a trip, and you could also see that perhaps the pet will get more attention and care from you.
Afterwards, you deserve a vacation.
I have 15 pet-sits under my belt and received 5-star reviews from all of them. I am currently doing the most challenging petsit to date and I need to vent a little. The pet-parents are an elderly couple who is taking perhaps the last overseas trip of their lives. I agreed to this sit months ago of their ancient dog (over 100 in dog-years) and the animal seemed fine but developed fatal complications in the interim. The dog is nearly incontinent now, peeing and pooping all over the house. I have to prepare meals and administer complicated medications twice a day. I feel like this was a bait-and-switch. When I arrived the home was cluttered and uncomfortable. I’m pretty upset. I know I have to suck it up but actually worried that the pet could expire on my watch and I’m very anxious. Any words of support are welcome. Also, how do I handle if the pet dies?
This is a discussion to be had with the owner - how do they want it to be handled , what are their wishes ? What end of life care plan they have put in place with the vet ? How will this be paid for ?
You may find some helpful advice from this previous thread discussing care of an elderly pet.
https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/lessons-from-sitting-an-old-dog-or-any-animal-i-think
I don’t know what to say. You are asking for words of support. You have all my sympathy. That said, I don’t think you “have to suck it up” if you don’t want to. Especially if you feel “ this was a bait-and-switch”
According to THS T&Cs, owners have to
“ 5.2.5. notify a Sitter of any special requirements or behaviours relating to your pet(s) in your Home Listing and when you communicate with
any Sitter and during the Handover;”
Please notice there are 2 “and”. This means the owners must notify on three different occasions: listing + communication + handover.
I think, under these circumstances, you can notify the owner you can’t continue and give them some time to make other arrangements. First of all, I would contact THS support service.
I don’t know what the owners situation is, perhaps you just want to help and “suck it up”. If that is your decision, then just do your best, enjoy the dog’s company and the sitting as much as you can and learn from the experience. But if you feel enough is enough, you must know you don’t have to put up with this situation.
This past Thanksgiving we had to put a dog to sleep and I know the stress of dealing with a really sick animal. He was 15 years old and had developed diabetes about 18 months prior. But his condition had been stable the whole time so we weren’t anticipating any problems.
But he started displaying a variety of symptoms the first evening we got there, which was just two days prior to the holiday. It turns out he was experiencing diabetic ketoacidosis which can come on very suddenly and progress very rapidly.
Because it was a holiday and his regular vet was closed, we had to take him to a 24 hour urgent care. Luckily the hosts were very reachable the whole time and they took care of payment directly with the hospital over the phone. Initially they sent him home but his condition really started to worsen and we drove him back a second time later that day to have him put down.
The best advice I can give is just keep the hosts informed of what is happening with the dog and see how they want you to proceed. Not sure what country you are in, but from what I have read on the forum, it seems that the idea of having a method of payment on file with the vet is not typical in lots of areas. So you should ask about this, and if there isn’t payment on file, how it will be handled if you need to take him.
With a dog that old, this is just a possibility and while the thought of that happening while you are there is understandably upsetting, clearly there is nothing you are doing wrong or nothing you could really do to prevent it.
Good luck!
So it sounds that they are saving the inheritance for their kids at your expense. You don’t need to suck this up.
Hi @Petstuff
I’m sorry you’re having a tough sit. I think we’ve all had one of those. I agree with others that it’s worth having an honest conversation with the pet owners to discuss everything.
I am about to do a local sit for a 23 year old cat. I had a very honest discussion with one of the HO’s about vet care etc. Many HO’s appreciate you raising such concerns tbh.
I have not had that.
Once I offered to resign, that the HO was welcome to find a replacement for me. That got the issue fixed. (But it got me a three-star review.)
Talk to the owners. Even if they are in another country and another time zone, figure out a time to speak or preferably with video. Don’t make the assumption that it was conscious bait and swtich.
Let them know your concerns. It’s one thing to know the dog might expire theoretically while you are away, it’s another thing entirely to hear from the sitter that it might be time. They may be more than willing to cut short a vacation or even have a relative or friend who can help out.
Often with pets, people make adjustments as conditions change and they don’t always recognize when lines have been crossed. It’s entirely possible when you accepted the sit things weren’t as they are now and a certain level of denial may have set in.
It’s possible that even seeing their dog on video after not seeing the dog in a while might make them realize that things are critical.
Can you email them and replay a days worth of incontinence, ask them to call their Vet, to give guidance on their wishes, such as what treatments, or end of life care…?
You’ve been lucky. I had a cat that suddenly started having seizures. Of course most sits especially as I sit for cats has no issues.
I’ve been cleaning up pee and poop all day. I’m not feeling all that lucky!
@Petstuff - sorry you are having to deal with this. I did a recent sit when the dog suddenly took a turn for the worse. (I started the thread referenced by @Silversitters.) Reach out to the HOs even though they are overseas. See what they say -
it may be time to put the dog down, but most vets won’t do that on the say of a sitter. I managed to keep Riley fairly comfortable until the HOs returned. He died that night so at least they managed to be with him - I almost think he was holding on to see if they would return.
Hi there @Petstuff
It is a very stressful situation. Your feelings are normal.
End of life care is not an easy thing for anyone. The Ho owners are elderly and are probably struggling with this.
The condition of an elderly animal can deteriorate suddenly and quickly, so it is doubtful that they intentionally put you in this situation. As has been said, have a discussion with them as to what they would want done should things get worse and have them alert the vet.
Do the best you can. Not knowing how long the sit is, and in truth it doesn’t matter, make effort to change your approach from having to “suck it up” to I get to make this animal comfortable. You may be the last one to love on this dog.
Take moments for yourself, to rest, recover and strengthen your reserves. This will soon be memory. Make it a good one.
I had a similar sit years ago, my second sit, right after joining. Even though it was years ago, I remember it far too well. Nights of liquid poop from an elderly dog, who woke his younger brother, who ran through it all, getting it everywhere. I had to give them both multiple baths a night, and spend the days cleaning the rugs and anything else it got on. I barely slept. It’s a long story, one I’d rather forget. But when I was finally able to turn the sit back over to the person who arranged it, what I stressed to them was that the dog should be under the supervision of a vet who could properly monitor the dog, because it was clearly at the end of it’s life. A vet who could administer an IV for dehydration, which it must have, who could provide pain medication to make the poor dogs end of life easier.
I do understand how you have sympathy for the owners and perhaps their last trip abroad, but this is their dog, who they have raised. If the dog is at the end of its life, they should be there caring for it, making decisions for it, along with their vet.
100% agree
Thank you. Luckily there is no runny poops. Yours sounds like a nightmare.
Thank you. I was cleaning up yesterday and found some literature that was left under something on the coffee table about coping with dementia. I think one of the hosts is in the early stages so I think this may be their last big trip together before one of them goes to a care home. Regardless, we are still very uncomfortable. On top of the dog issues this home is very cluttered and they made zero space for us to put our stuff. They also put a lamp directly behind a recliner that was tipped over and broken when the chair was reclined. WHO PUTS A LAMP DIRECTLY BEHIND A RECLINER!!! I told the HO about it and she seemed annoyed but understanding. I ordered a new one at my expense. I’m counting down the days before I can leave. I’m sure my perfect 5-star rating is toast but you know what they say–No good deed…
When looking after an elderly pet I always ask owners in advance what they want me to do if the pet passes in their absence and whether they want to be informed.