Very long sits - Should sitter contribute to the bills? How do you deal with separation anxiety?

If I remember @Romana, this lengthy sit is not through THS. If this is the case, then unfortunately it is between you and the unpleasant owner to sort the issues out. I know having long term accommodation is important to you but are you locked in for the full duration? I had a feeling it was for 5 years but you can correct me on that! Would you consider getting out of the sit? I feel for you as it doesn’t sound like the owner is thinking about you at all. :hugs:

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As it’s not through THS so you don’t risk a review problem @Romana, why not work out the potential sitting bill and present it versus the utilities bill and she’ll owe you £££. I know that wasn’t the agreement but unless you have a contract what’s she going to do? It might make her stop being so ruthless. You have to think about yourself and not her cats, they are her issue and she doesn’t sound like a kind person. #runawayasap

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Wow. 5 years? If you are not treated right - life is too short @Romana ?

Just saw your profile. I would imagine you would be a very attractive sitter, given your experience and competences. Looking after 18-20 cats (you should be paid to do that :wink: ) is quite something. You only choose to do it as long as you choose to. It isn’t a slavery-contract. Knowing that one have a choise can make it easier, whether one choose to stay or not. All the best.

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@Romana good to hear from you, and sorry about your miserable owner. Just wondering: is the €80 per month for a past period, or for an upcoming period? If for a past period, then shouldn’t it have been paid monthly? That would have made it easier to pay than one lumpsum. What if you end the arrangement, how would she find you to claim payment?

Hello temba, yes, you remember correctly. We actually wrote down and signed a “tenancy agreement with 0 euro rent” (and those damned 80 euros per month for heating which I regret now) for a five year duration, which either of us could terminate with three months notice, as the German tenancy law requires. Which I did in August, so I can leave end of October, on the first day she will be back for a visit.
The HO met me through THS but then never clicked on the “Sit agreed” button in the THS website, although I asked her to do that, so the THS rules are sadly not part the deal. I am just equipping my own flat 10 km from her huge property.
Yes, she definitely is a hoarder, which includes cats and properties. Besides two large totally neglected gardens of about 3500 square meters this woman owns four houses next to each other where only her cats live and no people (she keeps buying up her neighborhood to prevent that families with little children move in), and she hoards there everything you could possibly imagine (for example 7 wardrobes packed with clothes, 5 kitchen stoves one of which has restaurant kitchen size with 10 hotplates and 2 huge roasting ovens although she doesn’t even like cooking, 4 washing machines etc) and at the same time she is incredibly closefisted. It took her two months to allow me to even use one of her many fully equipped bedrooms after I asked for it multiple times because it was getting cold. In the first two months I had to sleep in my van - which has a nice bed, but no heating. Before I came she paid a local lady 40 euros a day to feed the cats once a day and to clean their toilets out once a week, which is far too little. All their rooms stank terribly and there were flies and maggots everywhere. I cleaned it all up. All the cats ask for food at least twice a day, some of them need it three times. That’s why I feel really sorry for them. The last live-in housesitter actually reported her to the local state veterinary office, but somehow she passed the inspection. At that time she was at home, and the vets then never checked again how things are handled when she is away. If she doesn’t find another “live-in slave” I am sure the cats will suffer terribly after her next departure. I offered her multiple times that I could place free ads to find a good family home for each of the cats, but she doesn’t want to give them away. Just like the many pot plants which are gradually dying or are already dead. I would really like to help the cats, but what can I do?

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Oh @Romana what a strange lady she is. All that hoarding and buying up property. She’s definitely not short of money yet not at all concerned about your comfort and what you are doing for her. She really doesn’t care about the cats at all or she wouldn’t be going away for such long periods. What a tough time you have been having. I am so pleased you have given her notice and can leave at the end of October but understand how sad you will feel leaving the kitties. What a shame the vet has never checked again. Thinking of you.

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Does the owner expect you to pay €80 for utilities for those months too ?
It is not really a valid tenancy agreement if you can’t sleep in the property , more like a an agreement to park your van on the property (in exchange for caring for the cats ).
I understand that you made a private arrangement outside of THS, however when it was originally listed on THS what how were the sleeping arrangements described? A minimum a sitter should be provided with a bed ( indoors ) !!!

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This is worse than I thought initially. To me it sounds like a psychiatric disorder that require medical attention on her part, and the cats should really be taken away from her by the authorities.

So happy for you that you are getting out of it, it must affect you very much, much more than a tenancy contract!

I don’t know the contents of your «contract» but it isn’t necessarily valid if there are terms broken and/ or it could be deemed invalid for consumer-/tenant-protection. Do you have some free legal aid-resources for tenants? Many countries do? I would think your work of cleaning and sanitazion would be many hours, Maybe Even expenses on your part? Maybe she is the one owing you money. :wink:

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