Very neutral review - disappointed and upset

I recently had a month long sit which I really enjoyed and thought it went super well. I sent daily updates, responded always immediately and left the house in great condition (at least I think so). I also left a thank you card and a little chocolate box from my home country.

The HO gave me overall 5 stars but deducted 1 star in the clean & tidy section. Also the text itself was just 1 sentence and written quite dry.

I can’t help but I feel quite irritated, treated unfairly and even a bit angry.

I am sure I am not the only one with this issue - did you experience this and how do you deal with it? It just feels so unfair…

4 Likes

If you had an enjoyable sit and received a five star review overall , that’s all good . :clap:

You could ask the host for feedback on why the star was deducted for the clean and tidy section .

Have they written reviews for previous sitters ?

4 Likes

Yes it could be worse but it still bothers me and i feel so unappreciated. Yes they did, and most of them were glowing!

1 Like

I agree with @Silversitters to get feedback about the rating for “clean and tidy.” Maybe there is a learning opportunity for you.

Since you got 5 stars overall, your rating will not be affected.

Perhaps the host was in a hurry and did the review on their phone rather than on their computer, thus brief rather than longer? Try not to take it personally. You know that you did a great job!

6 Likes

So could be a glitch - others have reported an IT issue with submitting reviews.
You won’t know unless you ask the host about it .

3 Likes

The exact same thing happened to me once. Exactly. Asked for what I could improve and never heard anything from them. I have buried it in great reviews, and now come to the conclusion that the short and dry review is a reflection of them and not me.

7 Likes

It’s about feeling appreciated and what the experience meant to you – and your relationship with the pet – versus what it meant to the host. So it is understandable that you’d be upset.

The reality is that it won’t cost you anything in terms of new sits. Most homeowners don’t read every word in every review and might not look at anything that is 5-stars overall at all. No one is going to not pick you because of one 4 star in one category.At most, a host might ask you about it, but most will dismiss it if they didn’t say something specific about why they were deducting the star.

The best thing you can do is focus on something else. Maybe reread the other great reviews you have. You know your own worth. Reviews are just the opinions of others. Everyone has an opinion. Not much you can do about it.

6 Likes

If everything is five stars, then nothing is five stars.

An overall five star rating with four stars for clean and tidy is GREAT. It is not a “neutral” review - it as an excellent review. Neutral would have been overall three stars.

The sit got five stars. The SIT - not you. Reviews are about the sit, not about you as a human being, not about your relative value as a person. You are inherently worthy.

You could speculate all day about why one star was docked for “clean and tidy”. Does it matter? Is it worth that investment of energy? Maybe the HO had insanely high standards. Maybe they didn’t understand that this is a pet sitting service, not a professional home cleaning service. Maybe there were dustbunnies under the bed or cobwebs on a chandelier. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Only the homeowner knows why they docked the star. You could ask them. But WHY? Are you going to ask them why the sit got five stars for “self-sufficient” and five for “reliable”?

Perhaps the real question to be asked is not “Why are there ‘only’ four stars for clean and tidy?” but, instead, “How can I evaluate myself more kindly?”

9 Likes

As PVGemini said, they may have completed the review in a rush. I had a similar experience when I recently completed a repeat sit for three beautiful, well behaved, high-energy dogs and, after writing my gushing (love these dogs) review, saw they wrote a 2-word review, something like “all good” or “no complaints”. I was a little disappointed in what felt like a neutral review, but a couple of days later, they posted a lovely, thoughtful response to the review I wrote for them.

3 Likes

Very good reply, thank you! Yes it might be the “insanely high standards” in this case. I already noticed it from the tone of the listing. I am always making sure I leave everything clean, tidy and hygienic, but I am not a professional cleaner nor a neat freak - so what I might consider clean might maybe only be clean-ish for someone with super high standards. But what bothers me is that she didn’t mention anything I did for the pet in the review, but what can I do.

2 Likes

I don’t understand why it should be ‘a learning opportunity’ for the sitter. The sitter says in her opinion that the home was left clean & tidy.
Maybe, the HO had unreasonable expectations.
Why must it always be a learning experience for sitters when a HO leaves an unreasonable review.

4 Likes

@lalalein94 I understand your disappointment- its a natural human reaction! Especially when you felt you’d had a great sit and did everything you could for the pet and the home… and then the deflation of feeling unacknowledged or under appreciated. Unfortunately people can be fickle! Or lazy, or rushed, or jealous, or in a bad mood or simply triggered by any number of things that prompt them to write a less than a stellar (well deserved)review! Its often more about them than about you!

We’ve been disappointed a number of times..
E.g the sit where the HO excluded my husband from the review despite having met him on a pre sit visit and at end of the sit!! She wrote as if I’d done the sit alone! So wierd and off. And she dropped a star on self sufficiency with no explanation. We did not ask why but the only thing that we thought it could be was that we had to contact her overseas, after a blind arrival, with a few essential questions- all because she’d failed to provide the promised Welcome guide!! We complained- especially about leaving my hubby out- but she did not explain why she did that and refused to get it changed.

Another HO dropped a star on cleanliness because, apparantly, we’d spilled a little water from the icecube tray and not defrosted the freezer!!! :roll_eyes: Another dropped a star because we misplaced a special spoon he used for the dog food. He contacted us in a panic- must have thought we’d stolen it but we’d just put it back in the wrong drawer and he soon found it..:woozy_face:
Our only (overall) 4* review came from a host who didn’t like that I’d complained about the presence of several workmen throught the sit despite us not having been informed of this possibility beforehand!!:flushed_face:
And recently a 5* review (in all categories) - (great) but where the HO wrote a bland, mediocre review of us (disappointing).
For us (and we thought for them too) it had been a really great sit and we’d got on so well- shared meals before and after, great contact throughout, - all perfect. We’d written them a great review highly recommending the sit and the wish to be invited back. The HOs did not acknowlege or reciprocate either of those sentiments.. in retrospect we felt they’d been a bit fake with us.

In all of these different situations (and others not mentioned) you just have to swallow the dusappointment, let it go and not take it personally! Onwards and upwards! We all know when we’ve done a great job and had a great time. Its great when that is reciprocated but, sadly, we have no control if its not!

And, turning it around, we’ve had a couple of sits where the HO wrote a much more enthusiastic review of us than we did of them (e.g when we’ve done our usual fab job but had arrived at a house that was not clean or endured a bed that was very uncomfortable, or faced unexpected pet behaviour etc) Those HOs were probably disappointed too but.. expectactions don’t always match. That’s life! :zany_face:

4 Likes

Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply! These are all very valid points… And as you say - expectations don’t always match unfortunately. It’s just so strange - I sometimes had sits (especially in the beginning of my THS journey), where I of course cared very well for the pet and left the house clean, but did not bother to go above and beyond by sending thoughtful updates, etc., just because i was unexperienced and did not know better. But still - got a GLORIOUS review. While now I really try to pay attention to do everything perfect - and then get a bland, mediocre review is just a bit disappointing.

But that’s life, you are right!

2 Likes

I just got a review with 4 stars in self sufficient. All the rest were 5. But this one annoys me. It was because I was annoyed that the neighbor – shared driveway, took the spot next to the house, which made it difficult to turn the car around, it was a very narrow drive with a cement wall on each side, so difficult for my daughter to navigate since she hadn’t driven in 3 years. They couldn’t use their garage or space in front of their garage since they were working on a boat. Including sanding the fiberglass as I was coming up the drive with the dog one time. I could feel it in my throat. He couldn’t see me or I couldn’t yell to him since he was in hazmat gear. This was the neighbor, not the HO but it made the whole thing annoying.

1 Like

Although I agree that it shouldn’t all be about the sitter learning - the hosts could also learn a lot of the times - the OP says that « Yes it might be the “insanely high standards” in this case. I already noticed it from the tone of the listing.»

This might have been written after your reply!, but it stood out to me. This is something I look for - before I decide to apply and in a video call before deciding. Are the hosts reasonable, do they treat sitters as equals and guests of their home? The tone of the listing (and expectations ofc) is really important to me.

It has served me well so far, with nice, friendly, reasonable people. I do do a good job cleaning, but I’m not a neat freak or professional cleaner. Still I get good reviews and even «attention to detail». I only leave the home as I found it, maybe a thing or two cleaner, that’s it. The successfactor is good matches.

2 Likes

Don’t take it too personally, though it’s disappointing.

I once got a five-star review so indifferent it could’ve been dictated to a fax machine.
The host had invited me and also worked in the same industry - could’ve even become a supplier of mine (slim chance of that now).
Additionally, I helped them with some PR-related damage control using my own contacts during the stay. You’d think that might earn an extra flicker of warmth or gratitude. Apparently not.
(..they still follow me on SoMe closer than a wounded ex. Weird flex, but okay.)

Only later, reading their reviews of subsequent guests, did the penny drop:
They saw travelers through THS as staff. Possibly even furniture. It had nothing to do with me.

Since then, I’ve adjusted:

• I scrutinize host reviews of guests

• Rewrote my profile, especially the intro

• Ask for the welcome guide early—it often says what the listing won’t

None of this is foolproof, but it helps.
Travel, after all, is as much anthropology as it is adventure. And some of the kindest-seeming people are the same ones tipping waiters handsomely - while gutting them alive.

Humans are German Shepherds😅

3 Likes

Love that!

2 Likes

This whole thread makes the forum’s existence invaluable.
I’m still very disappointed that my joy at this role is no longer shared by my equally competent partner. It would make me so happy to have her back at my side! Double joy!
I have to accept that that isn’t going to happen. Ever.
I can’t blame her. I know who and what turned her off.. I was there.
I’m proud of the fact I continue to strive to be a High Five on my own. I am worthy. I am a High Five.
If Home Owner’s aren’t fighting for me and realizing my worth then the fault lies elsewhere. I like perceptive, appreciative, discerning Home Owners.
I guess the pets are always that. It’s that that brings me back for more of this tight roping feat. Sudden death is real. I’ve watched my wife drop from the high wire and not want to go back.
Home Owners need to realize the power of words and praise. It works with their pets, it works with their sitters. What one mentions, what one chooses not to mention, all can be very telling.
“ the review is the sitter’s life blood” that comment from another thread stuck in my mind. Of course we react and reflect and sometimes respond to reviews..
Thank you to all the contributions to date on this thread. Pure refined gold. Experience from
The hard knocks of knocking on Home Owners’ doors of Sitting Opportunities.
“ Bad “ sitters must be so quickly weeded out by now. It seems we are mainly good and very good. Who judges the judges?
Ultimately I’m only available to those who seek me out and select me for my worth. I apply to start the process. If I don’t like how it’s going, how I’m being treated and viewed, I can press the abort button. There lies my power.
You can only write a review of me if I choose to let you. Take good care and weigh your words.
Reviews. Respect Returns Results Retributions, are all wrapped up here when all is said and done.

2 Likes

Ultimately the judge for me is the pet. If I’m truly trusted by the pet, if the pet would leap at my return! That mutual feeling of reciprocated love and respect.
I’m on a sit now. Here are the stages…
Shy moments at introductions. The dog knows the owners are going off somewhere soon!
I interact with the dog and stroke him.
I offer to take him on a walk the owner has already demonstrated to me..
The dog comes, somewhat reluctantly.. I give the dog control of where we go.. we do a short circular walk back to the back door.. the owners haven’t left yet and he knows it..
later the owners are leaving. Shall we all go out together? I’ll take a tasty treat for the moment of their departure..
The dog takes me on a longer walk. He starts to show enjoyment in the moment.
First night he sleeps on the Home Owner’s bed
Second night he wanders into my room. I turn off the light. He chooses to seek out the owner’s bed .
Next day after more ball games and walks..
He follows me for my shower. He follows me to my bedroom . He jumps on the bed at my invitation. He stays the night.
This is truly being trusted. This is what it’s all about. We share the bed and the joy.
My favourite photo on this sit ?
Here it is.

7 Likes

How has the host previously reviewed sitters?

I always check that and avoid those who are stingy with reviews / seem hard to please or unappreciative or entitled. No point wasting / risking a sit on such people, IMO. I look for red flags and never ignore or talk myself out of them. I trust my gut, and I’m willing to risk missing good sits if I read things wrong.

I’m a good sitter, but I also think my reviews have been consistently strong because I’m careful about hosts. I look for ones who are kind, thoughtful, generous in spirit and who communicate well.

To me, the No. 1 potential dealbreaker for any sit is the host. I avoid all hosts who seem iffy, no matter how good the sit otherwise.

5 Likes