I felt that you’ve been duped, the owner chose you because they know your situation and know you have no place to fall back to and are unlikely to leave. You’ve been taken advantage of. They got the entire house cleaned for free and more.
I doubt the integrity of the owner and think having mobility issue is not an excuse to treat anyone this way.
Do they not let the cats out? I’ve never seen cats poop on bed, so bizarre
We had a somewhat similar situation on a 55 day sit – but not so bad. It did cross my mind to leave, but in the end it all worked out with a lot cleaning the first 2 weeks. We have 10 more days left, and I am glad we did not leave.
My reasoning is 55 days, all bills included, plus the use of the car balanced out for us. I spent a little money, but that is not an issue for us. I truly can see these pet parents really love their animals, but they are too busy to keep up with the hair their animals shed.
How we survived, the bedroom, office, dining room and kitchen are no go zones for the pets. They have the master bedroom and living room which are huge areas; we take them on drives, 4 walks a day, and thorough brushings in the morning and evening, and they adjusted well to the new house rules.
My take away, we really wanted the long term stay and didn’t notice it was their first time hosting sitters with no reviews, so in the end it was a trade off. Maybe I have to much empathy, but we ended up turning things around for our trip and are both happy.
Yes, it is difficult to understand for some of us and I tend to think that, in my situation, I would not have stayed. When I started reading the thread I had the same thoughts @MerryPuppins spelled out. But @Misty has since explained their reasons, which are valid for them in their circumstances and happen to add extra information which was not included in the OP
IMHO, a person who writes that is hardly the type of person who would expose their own child to unsafe conditions. They were there, they surely found a way to keep their child safe.
They’re taking on board what other posters have said about reviews, which shows they care about other THS members, too.
At this stage, all I can do is accept their decision and admire their endurance and empathy. Diversity is one of my favourite things the world has to offer.
Good bad or ugly, I always leave honest reviews. Recently, I ended a sit early for the first time and gave an honest review as to why we ended the sit. If it were me, I would have given the host a couple of options. 1. We could end the sit early or 2. They could venmo money to me and I could set the house up to be liveable. I wouldn’t touch anything and just make improvements
@Misty, your pet parents are very fortunate indeed. Suspect most housesitters would have terminated housesit. Hope that you enjoy the remainder of housesit experience.
Suggest that you raise a Member Dispute, in regards seemingly materially inaccurate listing and/or property uncleanliness, once the sit is concluded. This is a THS protocol that collects allegations and evidence from both parties and assesses situation versus THS Terms of Service.
Give the host 24 hours notice that we are leaving . Book into a nearby accommodation for the 24 hours - move our child to a safe environment. If emergency contact / neighbour is not available I would Drop in to feed the cats during those 24 hours .
Inform THS of the same - stating the reason and including photos of the condition of the home .
Go to our Plan B - which as we are Premium members may include booking alternative accommodation ( and making a claim for this under the sit cancellation plan )while we look for another sit .
The host can either return home themselves or make alternative arrangements for the cats .
Oh my goodness. I would have contacted THS on arrival, activated the emergency contact to look after the pet, and left immediately. This state of house is in direct violation of the THS Ts & Cs.
This is what they should have done at the outset, not after they’ve spent several days cleaning the house.
Whatever you do (and as others have said, it seems you’ve decided already) PLEASE leave an honest review. Never mind what the HO’s situation may be or what empathy you feel for her - they’re separate issues. The review is purely about the sit. The increasing reluctance to be (or even just seem) critical or “mean” in a review is making a nonsense of the whole system. Please give this sit one star and explain clearly and unemotionally why you’ve done so. For the sake of all other sitters out there, for whom I hope you’ll also have empathy.
OP asked what other members would do - this is what I would do . I would not stay another 5 weeks .
Other opinions available and respected .
By staying, you are showing you value the hosts well being over yours and your families.
I get caught out myself with this sometimes. I don’t understand why I do this, in saying that, it’s been a huge personal growth and life becomes better when you put you and your family first.
Fair point. I am just ‘stuck’ on why they stayed, with their child, for the first week, the child being the significant factor.
@Misty I understand compassion & kindness, and I appreciate concern for the pets not having care if you left. I’ve cleaned my fair share of homes to get them to a state where I’m comfortable, but there is a difference between even “very dirty/unsanitary” and “uninhabitable.” As a rule, no hot water + animal feces on beds/pillows/linens crosses that line, & the conditions you’ve described means there was likely even more that remained undiscovered following your first look.
Be that as it may, your compassion and/or circumstances led you to choose to stay, & to go to some lengths to remedy the situation for yourselves & the host…no one can knock you for that. My confusion had more to do with what it is you’re asking for at this point, since it seemed you’d already made your decision, and you’ve now confirmed you want to stay.
I would not worry about hurting the host’s feelings because you “cleaned/fixed too much.” I would write an honest review without necessarily being punitive/mean; it’s unlikely you have fixed things in a way that it won’t revert for the next sitter & they deserve the warning before they commit to a sit with this person.
(Edited after re-reading the OP’s follow-up post more closely)
I’m interested to know, what did you want to happen when you made that call?
Accountability for the state of the home always rests with the HO, regardless of who was responsible for preparing it for sitter guests.
Nope, and especially not sitters!
That’s a moot question for us, since we wouldn’t have remained for the first week under those conditions.
We have previously encountered less than acceptable levels of cleanliness (though nowhere near as bad as the situation you’ve described) and took the decision to clean, but never again.
Please be honest in your review about the state of the home on your arrival. If any potential future hosts deem a sitter ‘overly picky’ for objecting to conditions as described, they’re not hosts we’d agree to partner with! Indeed, I do believe that stating the facts will highlight your expectations of cleanliness, which can only be a good thing in terms of a more balanced match.
Whilst you made that conscious choice, I suspect most sitters would not, so an honest review will alert other sitters and may even be the wake-up call this HO needs, if she wants to attract other sitters going forwards.
When we highlighted such issues in a review, the HO initially sent us a scathing email, so I sent her before and after photos of her filthy kitchen and bathroom, which she simply could not dispute. She then responded to our review, stating they had had little time to prepare so the home was not up to their usual standards of cleanliness, which they would rectify for future sits.
As someone who sits with my family, i woukd find this really stressful. Did they have previous references? Had the owner been abroad long prior to your arrival? Did you take photos before cleaning? Is this your first sit?
Hats off to you for everything you have done- it sounds like the pet parent has some difficult stuff going on.
I think i understand what youre asking though- how to handle the communications moving forward.
Now you have done the cleaning and presumably feel ok being there, i personally would probably explain all the steps you have taken to the home owner, along with sending photos. Keep the receipts for anything you bought- not sure you will be able to claim though if she doesnt offer to reimburse.
Also explain that you didnt want to leave the cats, or her, in the lurch, but that you had to do these things in order to stay there safely.
I wouldnt mention anything about leaving a negative review until the end of the sit as it seems like there are mental health issues and you dont know how she will respond. Just try and enjoy it now. Then, at the end, you can tell her you are going to leave an accurate review if you want, but i think its a bit risky-reviews are blind for a reason. I would leave an accurate review as everyone has stated. There are 5 different categories, so you can leave 1 star for cleanliness, and more in other categories if they deserve it.
Just try and enjoy it now- i am curious where in the world it is as you said you travelled for 12hrs to get there.
And use it as learning for securing future sits. I never take a family sit without doing a video call first- if this happened to me i would probably be ezplaining to future hosts why you need a little video tour around the house. Most will be horrified to hear about your experience and gladly oblige- and anyone who doesnt gets the chop!
Hi everyone,
First of all, thank you all for taking the time to reply. I honestly didn’t expect so many thoughtful responses, and I’ve learned a lot from reading the different perspectives.
A few questions keep coming up, so I thought I’d answer them here.
This is actually only our second house sit after taking a four year break. Just before arriving here, we completed a wonderful house sit in France before driving 12 hours to this one. Years ago, before we became a family, we were fulltime house sitters and completed many sits. Like most experienced sitters, we’ve certainly had our fair share of homes that were dirtier than expected. That’s simply part of house sitting sometimes. But nothing we’ve ever encountered came close to this. This genuinely felt like an extreme situation rather than “just a messy house.”
Many people also mentioned the Premium membership and the Sit Cancellation Plan. I’m actually a Premium member myself, and, somewhat embarrassingly, I wasn’t aware that the insurance might apply in a situation like this. So thank you to everyone who pointed that out. That’s genuinely useful information, not only for me but hopefully for others reading this thread as well.
I’ve also seen comments asking why we stayed with our child. I completely understand why people ask that, especially without knowing the full context. At no point did I knowingly put my family in danger. If I had genuinely felt that my child was unsafe, we would have left immediately. I didn’t realise my original post made it sound as though we simply accepted the situation as it was. In reality, our first priority was making sure our child had a clean and safe place to sleep and play, and that’s exactly what we focused on from the moment we arrived.
Finally, regarding reviews, several people have encouraged me to leave an honest written review, and I think you’re right. Interestingly, I’d always assumed that when I saw hosts with reviews that had ratings but no written comments, it often meant previous sitters had had a negative experience and had quietly chosen not to elaborate. I thought that was almost an unspoken etiquette within the community. Reading your replies has made me realise that a factual, respectful review is actually much more helpful for future sitters than saying nothing at all.
I still genuinely feel compassion for the homeowner, and I hope things improve for her. At the same time, I also recognise that future sitters deserve an honest picture of what they may be walking into. Those two things can exist together.
Thank you again for all the advice, even from those who would have made very different decisions than we did. It’s given me a lot to think about for future sits.
@Misty Thanks for clarifying some more in relation to this current sit of yours. We have all been genuinely concerned.
One point you mentioned was the assumption about no written review, only stars given so it must not have been a good experience. If someone else has responded about this, I apologise for repeating it. When a member chooses not to renew, they can ask for their data to be removed. When that happens, the stars remain but the written comment is no longer visible. The sit may well have been great.
The decent thing to do is stay. We should NEVER abandon animals.
The decent thing to do is not put a sitter in the position to start with.
100% this - it’s not on the sitter to not abandon pets if the host has given no thought or care for preparing a safe, clean, liveable space for them. Otherwise it’s simply emotional blackmail! #ohsotrue